Benevolently Unbound
by Amaterusa
Summary: She has watched her parents burn and has been haunted by shadows both real and of her own making. When chaos finds her once more, she is at the mercy of a demon without any. Sess X OC Pre-cannon story. Contains Mephitic Dreams and Subsequent Requiem as entire story. Review please for this completed story. Thank you, Amaterusa (Leads into Altruistic Memory)
1. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 1

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"Their screams still haunt me… On those nights were the black of night blends with the hate in my heart… He will always be there… every day to mock me, every day to remind me of what I have lost, what was taken. What he himself has done. I have cast my fate to the winds forever; forsaken."

"I cannot even recall their faces; only the pain. I will never be free his tyranny?" I sat in front of the old house-wife. I spoke only to her for she could not speak herself. She had been a mute as long as I have been a slave. I would never risk my life and utter words that would have me no sooner dead than fate had decided. She sat there numbly beside me shaking her head... I could no longer tell if it was from her thoughts or from age wearing on her old flesh and mind.

"I will come see you again, Meaa." I stood from my seat next to her and closed the door silently behind me. It was almost high noon and the Lord of the Southern lands would be in his hall with his maids and mistresses and I would do my duty. I no longer heard them murmur as I passed... it had become old news. I had already heard all that could be said anyways.

My mother and father had been predominant people of the Wine-makers of the Southern Lands. After the new lord's coronation, a celebration was held in his honour. My family had brought wine and the best they had, as a blessing to his new place in the world. In the past many assassinations had been made on his life, none had been successful.

At the hour when the lord's Lady had made toast to her glorious husband, every man and woman had in their hands a glass of my family's famous wine. The toast commenced and every one downed what wine they had… and one by one the glasses of crimson ambrosia crashed to the floor. My-self included.

I had wrenched uncontrollably then, as did every other member attending this coronation. I watched as the young servants became sick with nausea clutched at table covers with tears in their eyes. My own mother fell to the affliction; the color draining from her face. I watched for hours as the life in the people slowly burned out. The Lord of the Southern lands was aided by his most noble man-at-arms. They informed his Lordship of the proxy which killed all but a hand full of men and women, his wife had been included amongst the dead.

Needless to say my family and I were dragged from the bedchambers that had been lent to us for healing and forced to our knees before the stature of an enraged and grieving man.

"My Lord!" These would be the only decipherable words that I would ever hear from my mother again. With the flick of his hand I smelt the tang of lamp oil and watched as the liquid was poured over my mother, my father and me. It burned my eyes and tasted foul.

"You will burn for your treachery! For the death of my wife and for the lives here you have wasted for a failed attempt at my assassination! I WILL BURN YOU IN THIS LIFE TO PREPARE YOU FOR ETERNAL DAMNATION IN HELL!" His voiced had echoed and all I could do was scream inside the confines of my mind.

"My Lord, please! We have not brought this evil on you or that of your wife. It must be someone else's doing, my lord!" I crawled on my hands to get closer to my mother, but a kick to my ribs by a guardsman sent me back. I caught the glare of fire against his lords' eye as a flame was brought over. The terror set on me caused nausea to over take me... and then I saw true terror.

"This girl child drank from the poisoned wine?" His Lord ship looked at me with a hatred based on false blame. His men clasped me and flung me towards the Lord of the south and I crumpled at his feet. My mother whimpered… she knew what was to come of this some-how. This I believe with all my heart. My father diligently knelt accepting no blame. Did he know of a life after this one that was assured to be better than this one?

"For the crimes of your worthless mother and bastard father I condemn you as their child. You will watch them burn and die a slower death by my hands and should you die before your sins have been paid, I charge you to finish your payment in what ever hell will take you."

I had watched his head snap to the side and I heard the faint jingle of the lamp as it hurtled towards my mother and father. It smashed into shards of glass and the oil burned. I tried to rush forward but someone kicked my head onto the cold stone floor. I was all but unconscious as I watched in disconnected sorrow. My mind wept where my body could not. No tears could I shed though I tried. The oil had ruined my eyes as I would find out later when the lord's own poisoning would fail and I would be announced his 'personal' poison tasting slave. Sadly though I could still see fine enough after being healed, but the tears would never come again. I found out that after dragging myself up from my poisoned illness that my punishment would start immediately. I sat at my lord's feet as meal after meal I consumed death meant for him and survive. Most times the meals had no effect, but other times the food made one deathly ill; Attempts at ending his Lords life. I had been born a daughter, a friend and a member of a winery with prestige. I would die a slave; sick and dying always, but never enough to finally rot.

"Rem. I expect today's meal to be as well as most." I bowed in silent distaste.

"I'm sure of it my Lord."


	2. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 2

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance – Two

"I wonder if he ever expected me to enjoy his execution. Such a death was still unbefitting of him, he deserved far worse than anything I could give him. The look of pure resolve to haunt me in his after life was apparent on his face. And I could only think 'Try little man-ling. Try to take me again…''

"I assume you are ready for the day's functions…" He never once considered me as a human or even as a woman. His eventual down-fall would strive from that. I was simply as he said, a_ 'function'_. I was deemed unworthy of physical human contact. Even if I feel ill, it was I that tended to my needs.

"I am ready my Lord." I sat in front of him at his chair. He wished for many things; to watch me under his control and to make sure I was always looking over my shoulder. After tasting his food for him and making sure of its 'purity' a few moments would pass. After years of being forced to consume his death time and again, I had become immune. The only way for the Lord of the South to be assured of my 'trust-worthiness' was that if his food was in fact poisoned I became deathly ill not matter the poison. It was always the same.

"You can return to your room… but I do have other uses for you this evening. I have dealings with the Lord of the West come night fall. You will be here to make sure no one, like your family, attempts his unlikely and early demise as he is just coming into his estate as the Lord of the Western Lands.

"Yes, my Lord."

I had not always been this meek and meagre. I had a spark and a tongue that caused me pains in my younger days. That side of me died when I became who I was now. Thankfully when even my blood proved toxic from the constant poisons fed to me the physical torment my lord inflicted on me stopped.

Hours came and went as the sun set and I made my rounds to see that the food was being prepared in the right manor. No extra ingredients. Although I had become immune, if his lord-ships food was found poisoned, its impurity's were taking out on me. Although I was not allowed to touch and in return be touched, there were things he could do that kept me compliant. He was ever the inventive one.

The bells chimed later for the arrival of My Lords visitors' arrival. I let out the pent up breath in my lungs. It was not very often that my needs were carried out for another man. The experience always resulted in my person being insulted and degraded beyond measure. To help calm already severely racked nerves, I drank from a small flask I had with me at all times.

The flask carried nothing by wine, my small battle won over the larger loss. I had grown accustomed to it in my years working in the vineyards and although I was allowed to drink, wine was something I was forbidden to have. So every time I stole from the kitchens, which was only for this little relief, I made sure the bottle was disposed of properly. If any one touch the bottle I had too early and the poison from my body hadn't dissipated, it would result in their death as well as mine.

The last bell chimed and dinner would soon be served. As such I made my way to the dining hall. After leaving the kitchen and starting down the hall I realized belatedly that something was wrong. The light burned my eyes and made me squint to see. I looked down at my hands and began to shake when I saw the tips of my fingers had turned pink and burned along with my skin. As I started to walk again my feet stumbled and shook. My arms were weak and I could not hold myself stable. I crumpled to the floor and began to crawl and as the burning continued I could only help but wonder.

_'Was this what they felt in their last moments? Was this the burning that consumed my family and life?'_

And then

'_I have been poisoned... but when?'_

The doors to the dining hall loomed before me. They twisted like smoke and it took many tries to grasp the handle and pull myself up. Fevered and nauseated I opened the door, but just barely before falling through onto the floor.

"Rem, what is the meaning of all this!" I could hear his voice and see a blur of color, but that was all.

The burning intensified and the room whirled in a mass of grey. Voices screamed and invaded even the most well kept parts of my mind. I lifted my hand to grab onto something in front of me and force myself to stand and grasped cloth between my fingers. Again the shrill voices rang in my head. The insistent and demonic like chanting, I could almost feel their clawed nails on my flesh… and as I rose, sweating and burning in the hell I'm sure I had been sent, I saw the face of my tormentor.

His face was melted and eyes like some kind of pit, the beast stared at me. Saliva dripped from sharp teeth that were not meant to chew, but to tear and rip apart. He stood before me gripping me and pulling at me and the jingle of armour and the clang of a sheathed sword at his hip was the only way I was going to attempt to continue living and with one quick handed movement the sword sang from it sheath and ran home threw the demons abdomen. I was amazed I could even lift the thing in my hands.

Blood poured everywhere as I pulled the blade from his body and he fell. Although I presumed him dead I didn't know if a demon would die from such so as other demons came screaming in rage, I aimed for heads and proceeded to massacre all others in my path. I resolved to myself that I would not die here and as my nightmarish hell turned again, the demons that I cut down bore the armour of the men that made up the army that was the Lord of the South's. I screamed my ages of torment at them as I ran my blade through them and then as I looked, the demons I killed took shape of human men, but the fire still burned my skin and I would not leave till I had defeated all that stood in my way to freedom.

"That is enough." I turned and was face to face with another demon. A true demon. Stripes ran along his face and hair as white as the moon shone, but in my frenzy I saw the blade at his side and the claws at his hand. That was all I required to believe him an enemy.

"You cannot have me!" I ran forward with intensity, my world shifting as I ran, my heart pumping painfully in my chest. My sword hung over my head as I meant to bring it down on top of him, but something gripped my leg and swung me aside like I was nothing but a sack of feathers.

"Human." That was all he said.

I lifted my head from the cold stone. My body shook and sweat soaked clothes clung to me and weighed me down. The demon, as I knew he was, walked over to me and stopped next to my face. He did not kick at me or yell at me, he simply pointed to the damage I had rough on the inhabitants of hell.

"What… no." I watched as the last strength burned out of My Lord's body. He twitched and moaned, blood pooled around his body soaking his clothes.

"You will pay. I count your punishment... unfulfilled. Demon…." His eyes blazed before a last tremor took him. I realized that the hell I had seen was not truly hell at all... just my version of it.

"You will rot in hell for your false punishments. _You_ are the demon!" My head dropped down painfully as the true demon lowered his hand away from the carnage.

"I will release you of your burden to live. Your existence is a disgrace." A dull pain tinged in my hand and a clawed nail dug deep. Green with poison; I laughed with its irony.

"Foolish demon-child." I could barely keep my eyes open and I cared not if I lived or died so long as I could rest before my damnation in hell. "I have been fed poisons stronger than that since I turned two and ten." There was nothing then, just darkness and then a voice; Cold, void and eternal which I could not hear.


	3. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 3

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"The pain of such a mental onslaught was exhausting. So sore that breathing seemed too much, blinking no longer an afterthought of the body and all the while my mind thought only of the silver haired creature, both beautiful and the epitome of strength which carried my sullen body away from a deserted castle in the South. Why?... ''

"Leave me be. Let me die in hell as fate has demanded." After two days I ate nothing. My mind had returned to me and I knew of another poison. My body had raced with its symptoms, but death was no longer an option for me. Nor did I age correctly, only wound and injury could kill me it seemed.

As the silver demon walked to and fro from forest and back he said nothing. He never once spoke his name and never once asked if I felt well, not that it mattered. He only came back and forth with foods I might eat. All of which were different types of demon and never the less, very unappetizing.

"I cannot eat this food." I watched as he slowed and stopped.

"Why?" I thought he was rather ineloquent… and that this demon could not be the Lord of anything let alone the Lord of the Western Lands as much as he dressed the part.

"I'm a girl and first of all, anything this nasty looking makes me _want_ to throw up… and demon is not something a human eats. Is this not common knowledge for a demon? I'd have thought so personally but... never the less it will make me sick…er" He didn't seem to understand what I spoke of.

"Human… You _are a_ girl-child then." I snorted with mild offence. Feeling like I was standing next to death made me forget manners of any kind. Or perhaps I simply didn't care, near death or no.

"You could not tell I was a woman? I am sure I look like a woman, well enough." His mind never gave away to emotion. If he was surprised or insulted I ever knew of it.

"Then you are a human woman… How have you lived for so long then?" As much as she wanted to say she was just lucky she could not bring herself to force then fake tone.

"Call me special if you like. I like to think me purely unlucky though myself."

"I see…" Simple, no tone, no question in his voice; he was empty inside for all she could tell.

"Then you explain it." She waited and he stayed silent.

"I am not required to address myself to a low level creature let alone a human woman." He turned and began to leave.

"Low level? I was immune to your poisons was I not? So what in turn does that make you?" He stopped and turned on his heel and returned to stare her in the face.

"I am the son to the Dai-youkai of the West and you will show you're respects." He towered over me and I felt the wave of fear as it formed chills along my spine. To me it was a sure sign of being alive.

"Then I pity you. I know of your fathers release from the physical realm. I grieve for you… so in turn, that makes you the Lord Sesshomaru…" I stood on feet too weak and too tired. Fear also set them shaking, but I stood never the less. "I am Rem. I doubt my name is anything of interest to you, so I offer them only in respects to your title and your father." I sank after only a moment. Standing was still far beyond my capabilities as of yet.

"You did not know my father so what could your 'respects' offer?" His cold manners hid what was well and doubt heart ache. But then again I wouldn't know. Did demons have hearts to be capable of any true emotion? Was kindness a human trait like abnormal strength was clearly demon?

"I didn't, but I know a man that rules well deserve such, demon or no." And as I much as I knew my words meant little to him, they set him at an ease I'm sure he had not had in a long time, but by then the pulls of exhaustion upended my senses and I knew little more of what happened for days. Hysteria and delusions haunted me and taxed the limits of human life. I saw the visions that tormented me while the poison that killed, no… that caused me to kill my Lord. Not that the thought honestly bound me to regret. He deserved his death… perhaps that is why the illusions of demons and blood racked my soul… For I had no regret and as my dreams of aguish and misery wore thin, I felt warmth surround me and knew that the Gods of this world, surely had forgiven me my crimes of blood-lust.

"Thank you…" And as the last dredges of woe swept away I heard a voice I wept to hear, so lacking of judgment it almost unmanned the unbarred heart.

"You have nothing to thank me for."

After days of delirium her thrashing had ceased. For almost a week I had toted her along my side for reasons beyond me. Perhaps it was for the simple words she offered without bias or cause. Since her collapse I had finally found a place she could stay, though I didn't really care what happened to her. Only that it was not on my conscience. The springs here were more than enough to aid her healing, though it was hard for its tenants to aid a woman whose touch was death. I had no issues leaving the woman to do what ever she chose. Her life had been returned to her hands.


	4. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 4

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I had stayed with the inn-keepers for a while before misshape struck them. A week of caring for me and they succumb to the poison that had seeped through the very gloves meant to starve of touching me. They died in pain and still being unable to walk when the near-by villagers came, they found only me alive; rightfully blaming me for their deaths and at their hands, I was sentenced to death."

"Demon! Murder!" Their chanting had long since unified into one as piles of wood were brought to my knees. I sat bound and gagged for an hour while the villagers vented their rage, slowly piling up wood which would be used to set me aflame in the hours before dusk.

"Forgive me…" I whispered this to deter the anger of the villagers, but it only hade them ore irate. I wished for something better after this life then; and watched as a fire was brought to start my own.

"Burn you demon from Hell." A man tossed the fiery stick and I closed eyes. For a single moment I realized I was actually weeping, and then the screaming started. With a little tug my bonds grew loose and I flung my hands over my ears and bent over, my head between my knees. Branches dug into me but I never once felt the kiss of a flame.

"Let's go." I felt the tug of little fingers and when I would not move a presences hung over me and my eyes opened their own accord. I still cannot _believe_ my eyes or my memory when I look back at this time.

"You came back…" There was no other presence like his. No one else could impose and still leave space like he could. "Why?"

"Let's go."

I turned and looked at the little form of another demon. He stood not more than a foot or so high and his voice was quick and high pitched. Green molten skin, like a lizard covered his body and he carried a walking stick with him.

"Who are you?" I forced myself to stand though my legs ached with having been set in an uncomfortable position for so long.

"I am Jaken. I travel with My Lord; he wished to return here…" He turned to the lord of the West puzzled. _"Why did you return here_?" I could hear the unasked question, but the Lord of the West said nothing and turned and walked out of the small village in silence. Having nowhere to go I followed Sesshomaru and Jaken followed as well, though he grunted and sighed at my presence.

"Where are we going? Do you know Master Jaken?" The little green fellow seemed to enjoy being call such and ease set over him; if only slightly.

"My Lord said he had an errand to do here then he would return." A moment passed and I inquired further.

"Return where? Might you know?" Sesshomaru stopped and Jaken did as well. I halted in place and whispered a prayer inside my own head when my knees would not stop shaking. _Why ask? Was it so important?_

"I will be returning to the Western Lands and deal with things of my estate." He paused as if to say more and then continued walking and because he say whether I had to leave or no I decided to follow Sesshomaru until he would have me no longer in his sights. I would repay him, if ever a time came where I could do so. There were things I knew having been in a Lords home that could become very useful if Sesshomaru so desired. I would show my presence no more than he could stand so as to not make a nuisance.

I would do what I could to help his Lord-ship with everything I had. I would see myself be used to my full advantage; to repay the kindness he would not address and admit to. I would sell my all to the Devils in Hell and to Fate which now brought me hope should I have to. I would see this demon become all he wished at any cost I could pay. I owed him a life dept I could only hope to pay...


	5. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 5

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"It had taken many weeks to finally leave the lands once governed by the Lord of the South. There was a moment of emotional release and then fear of the unknown world that I had only heard of. It was strange for me to think that there was a place outside what I had always known, and that it was so very different from the world I knew of. Only time would tell if this world would welcome me or not." 

"My Lord, you have visitors." I waited outside Sesshomaru's master room patiently. I never repeated myself either. I knew very well that he could hear me and if he would do as he wished.

Surely enough he emerge from his room. For all that I saw it was rather lavish. Walls stained a deep red and furnishings that would make an emperor jealous. I had begun calling Sesshomaru 'My Lord' after arriving at his estate though it resemble more of a battlement with a small castle for lodging. The estate was surrounded by a well fortified wall that stood at least five times fold my height and although it was well kept it was rather ominous looking and many stayed away. I'm sure this is what Sesshomaru wanted most though; Solitude.

After closing the door behind him, he sauntered down the hall. After a moment he paused and I fell into place behind him.

"This visitor is important. He has replaced the late Lord of the South." Although he never said once why he told me this, I believed I knew. He was new to dealing with other matters of state and the South was something I was rather well versed in. I could be of some assistance even if Sesshomaru never asked for it.

"Yes, my Lord." He continued his way down to the lower level where our guest waited. The small parlour room was comfortable and at the end of the day I often found myself here.

"Greetings from the West, My Lord. May I introduce his Lord-Ship of the South, Yamato Haruka. If it pleases you, can I bring you anything to drink?"

A solid man, built heavily and strong, the new Lord of the South towered over lesser people. Although he matched in height with Sesshomaru he lacked the mystique and elegance that came I suppose with being a demon.

"No that will be fine, thank you." A moment saw every one seated and under way, but the Lord of the South seemed off-put.

"Does something not meet to your liking, my Lord?" I watched as he eyed me with mild interest.

"Not necessarily. I may be wrong, but are you his Lords Lady?" The shock nearly set me off my chair and I for sure thought I might choke, but calmly answered with mild jest at his error.

"No, My Lord, I am not his Lords Lady, though the complement does wonders." At that his face drew tight and dark.

"Then I ask why a woman sits with Lords when she has no more title then a beggar." I felt the heat rise in my face. Yes, I had been insulted since a child, but it never once condoned it and I wanted for sure to snap the fool's neck, but for the sake of saving face I stood to leave.

"I would watch what you say to my advisor. I have her here as extra ears as she knows of the South… intimately." I'm sure with the amount of shock in the last few moments that my heart would give out.

"That being said… let us continue."

Although he said this it was apparent. Lord Yamato thought women better bed-ridden with children then in a place of power and authority. Time dwindled as the two Lords debated. Matters of open roads, taxes and other important matters passed between them and I rarely said anything. This I'm sure pleased Yamato.

"Then I do think everything is in order?" With that Sesshomaru nodded in agreement and stood from his chair. As they both strode towards the door they stopped and Lord Yamato turned around.

"You are very familiar with the affairs of the Southern Lands?" I nodded, but never spoke. "Why is it that you know so much?" I looked to Sesshomaru and his facial expression never wavered. That was simply his way.

"I, for a time, served his Lord-Ship in The South. Your predecessor, may he rest." His face eased and his lips pulled at the sides to form a grin. I shiver ran down my back side which had nothing to do with the open door.

"And what might your name and what place in his Lords house did you fill? Maid, Servant or perhaps his mistress..." I felt the embers of rage descend on me and bit back the retort I wished to say.

"No My Lord. I was just a servant..." And when this did not please him I answered in full. "I was his Lord-ships food taster. My name is Rem and was poison tester for the late Lord of the South." I said my name with pride and never once thought that this would be my down fall. My arrogance...

"Then you are still under service of the South. You were not released from service from his 'Late Lord's' service and thus I own you. You will return with me to the South, Rem." He made no move to address Sesshomaru about the sudden theft of his 'advisor' and Sesshomaru made no move to correct him.

Only with a grin on his lips did he turn and walked out. Sesshomaru followed Yamato out and I knew very well, that he was right by doing so. I was under service by law, to the South and had no choice, but to return.


	6. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 6

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"It had been another few days before the Lord of South would leave, me being dragged in his wake. I thought of means to escape and knew that was not an answer. I would still be under the South's laws and thus merely an item to trade. I had little options to my disposal if I wanted my official freedom." 

"I believe you are comfortable, Rem. Such a curious name. Not even Japanese." His solicitous voice reached over the caravan's interior. It was thick with false kindness and I was ever on my guard.

"Yes. Truth-be-told I do not recall my name any more. My lord-ship had stripped me of it and told me I was no true Japanese citizen and thus I could not have a Japanese name." I huddled closer into myself to avoid being any closer to him as I had to. He was a repulsive man and the sound of his very breath made my ill.

"So…" Again his voice echoed over to me and it was clear to me then that he wanted something of me. "You had a, rather unique involvement with the latest Lord… Nothing you're attached too, I'm sure. He was a demon. Their kind does not care for our presence." He rubbed his hands together as if cold. It was the beginning of spring.

"My reasons being there were simply as he said, my Lord." It disgusted me to have to tell this foolish man who clearly did not see me as any threat, what my reasons for anything were. It was odd that he did not bring up the subject of my 'temporary release' from the South.

"I was told a tale while I was being introduced to my new title as Lord. It was recanted to me by an old woman who still lived in the castle. It was only by chance I suppose that a man in my personal guard understood the hand gestures she made… I had thought this woman crazy and senile with age. Also having survived a massacre…. You were lucky so as not to have been there..." He paused and I wanted to retch, but he continued and fear made every syllable crystal clear that he knew all too well about me. "She informed me of a dark haired beauty that the late Lord said no one could look at let alone touch. You seem to fit that description perfectly; a fine mistress indeed." He hands continued rubbing and he sat forward. I instinctively moved hard into the corner.

"Again, you misunderstand, my Lord. I was never his mistress, not once." When he ceased to hear me and moved forward, I shouted him to get away.

"Don't! You mustn't…" He was startled enough to retreat momentarily. "Just to touch me will see you die in pain. Do not… touch me." I made it clear as I could without telling him everything.

"He placed you on such a high pedestal. Did he fill your head with stories of something to make you believe so? Little woman, I get what I want and right now you fit under that category." He reached for me and I slapped his hand away with the small kitchen knife I had stolen from Sesshomaru and had brought with me for the trip. "So very feisty, I will enjoy this." Before he could lay one finger of me I bolted out the window and forced myself not to run. His guardsmen had bows and spears and I only a little knife.

"My Lord, I offer you the chance to save your own life! Please heed my words carefully." He watched with mild interest.

"Of course…" He sat in the caravan yet with the door open listening.

"Will you give up men to prove this?" He chuckled and told his men to do as I asked but to make sure I could not escape. As the first man came near, I touched him with only a finger… A few moments passed and nothing happened. Inside I wept.

"Is there more Rem?" He laughed and as the men chuckled at the crazy whiles of a frightened woman, the first man crumpled to the ground screaming in agony, clutching his stomach. It always happened this quickly. It was so fast, but maybe it was because it was the first time I had actually inflicted someone on purpose.

"Do you see? That is with a mere touch of a single finger." But I could tell they did not believe me and I frowned profoundly with having to prove a second time my virility. The second man came forward still chuckling under his breath. For that alone I did not pity him his fate.

"Do your worst. That one was a coward." This angered me greatly.

"You are a fool. And it is in no way cowardice to fear death." I rested a hand on his face. Before I pulled away he screamed in pain and tried to hit me while backing away. A red mark formed on his face where I had only touched lightly. Slowly it blistered and boils formed. He scratched open the sores which oozed pale green liquids that smelt awful. The Lord of the South was finally taken a back but I was too enraged to let him go on just this and as the last guard came over to try and subdue me I grabbed hold of his collar and warned my audience, my eyes only on Yamato

"And a kiss…" I waited as the man grasped my hands to pull away, but would not be put off. I pulled him just close enough to lay a soft kiss on his forehead. Then the gurgling and screaming began. The blood pulsing had nowhere to go and escaped through unconventional ways, like threw the ears, mouth and eye ducts. He gurgled for he could not scream and in mere moments lay dead on the ground while the others still fought the poisons I set on them. Only the first man might live, if lucky.

"A kiss is death!" I wiped her hand across my mouth and bore eyes as grey as a snow clad sky threw the Lord of the South's soul. "Return to your Southern Lands without me, find the men and women that told you of me, for I am walking death. They wish only for your life to end as did the last lords. Do better to your lands and these threats will cease. Continue and I will hunt you down and kill you my-self." The Lord was humbled and drew himself on his knees. He wept for forgiveness that I could not give.

"Release me of my bonds to you and this dark land and I will give you what ever forgiveness that I can." He nodded, but this was not enough.

"Say it!" He shot backwards onto his back and stumbled for his words.

"Y-you are released. You have no ties to the South. Not by land or law. Just leave!" He grasped the clothing over his chest. For sure his heart nearly beat hard enough to temper steal.

"Now take your men and yourself and continue your way home. Be honest to the wife who bares your name and child as well. For sure she deserves it for being under your servitude…" And as I watched the men scramble to get everything moving again and then to leave me standing there, I turned a blind eye to the body still dying and other who never had a chance.

"Go." I whispered and turned away. I did not know where I would go. I did not know the lands here and if I _could_ return, I knew not the way.

"Freedom…" I laughed at the emptiness the words left, but enjoyed knowing what the word meant to me. Although I was alone and had no one, there was no person on this earth that would ever own me again and I would protect that right with animal instinct, but one thing I did know.

That deep down I wanted to find my way back to the silver hair, amber eyed demon that I remained indebted to.


	7. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 7

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

_"Tired and exhausted beyond all means, I did everything I could to avoid human contact. I wasn't human in their eyes or my own anyways. I was shunned by them and also by demons; I had thought perhaps they might show mercy. I falsity I was quick to believe; Aside from him."_

"Forsaken place of destitution and pitiful nothing…" I cursed the land I knew nothing of. It never seemed to change in appearance. It was the same trees with the same mountain range in the distance. The sky was all that would change, but mostly the stars; the only true thing that told me time continued around me and that I drew closer to other realms. With the final dregs of energy in me, I settled by a tree that over hung a small river. The scenery was beautiful and left me some-what saddened. Here I lay, thick with mud and dirt, hair matted, eyes lacking lustre in a garden not meant for human presence. It was nature's paradise.

"And who might you be?" I turned my head although it ached to do so and stare at surely the most beautiful women on the earth.

"I am of no importance… If I have gathered in lands that are yours, I will leave without force." My breath was laboured and thought mildly if I could actually force myself to leave.

"Oh no, I come here to enjoy myself. This land is no ones and thankfully so, else I might not be able to come." She settled herself next to me. She wore pale white and had long hair as white as snow. I thought she might be ill with the lung disease to have hair so pale, but she never once showed signs of being sickly.

"I apologize if my presence bothers you… I have come only to reset." Even as I spoke I knew sleep when it came. My eyes were made of lead and I was straining to keep my head from hanging limp.

"You seem worn, child of man. You have been through much…" The woman who was clearly not a human reached and out to clasps my own hand and I didn't resist. I didn't hesitate and the contact was enough to make me cry.

"You must be careful kind lady. My touch can wound even a demon if not protected." But sleep pulled at my senses more, upending me into black emptiness. Only a small ounce of mind power called to me… and it said I was in danger… but I had no strength to combat let alone breathe and I fell deeper into shadow.

'Sleep dear child, you need much rest. Just let go of your earthly burdens and be free from your torment. I will set you free, oh child of man.' I was so tired… this voice held so much of what I wished to do… if only I were to listen. _I'm I wrong go along willingly?_

'Sleep… All your earthly burdens will soon be lifted.'

'I have to wake up…' But neither word nor thought could pull me from my daze and I saw only eternal rest before me. From the lesser tree's that gathered around the giant tree a demon walked, rather he pacing, from tree trunk to tree trunk.

"…Where is he?" But no longer after he spoke did another demon pass by. "Your here! She's over that way, my Lord."

Silent as a windless night and elegant as a creature bourn to such grace, the Lord of the West pushed pasted the little demon which hopped in agitation.

"Release the human." There was no room for question, it was a demand. The tree demon which clung to Rem leached at what remaining life she had.

"She is mine. She came and fell asleep under my tree. I only offer her release from the pains of life." The tree demon tightened vines which twined around Rem's hands and feet.

"Release the human." But as his last words fell on deaf ears the tree demon gasped and clutched at her heart. Rem's own version of self defence had finally kicked in.

"Poison! That retched human is poisoned." She pulled away from Rem so fast that the vines left red marks and left cuts around her knees and wrists. From the land of black where Rem faded, a light shone with a pale blue brilliance. The Lord of the West looked down at the near lifeless human who clung to life by threads. After a moment's thought he lifted her from the ground and carried her away from the scene she had thought so beautiful.

"Where are you going, my Lord? Where will you bring her?" And without further notice Sesshomaru dissolved into light before shooting of into the distance.

"My Lord!" Jaken was left to fend for himself, but Jaken thought of only one place he knew his Lord might take her and began his way back towards his Lord's estate in the west.

As village and town passed by like nothing at all, Rem settled into the warmth that surrounded her. She knew with vague knowledge that she bore no physical body, but embraced whatever cradled her with such strength and care. Though when she awoke days later her travel as light was forgotten to her, but not the amber eyed demon from which she had profoundly confused and intrigued.


	8. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 8

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I had been bed ridden for days on end. Master Jaken refused to allow me out of bed as he said it was 'too troublesome' for him to have to chase after a human. Although Jaken remained by my side, I never once saw Sesshomaru. He never saw as to my health, not that I thought he would. Perhaps what Yamato Haruka said was true… that demons didn't care for the company of humans."

"Jaken-sama… If I stay in this bed longer I'm sure my body will cease being able to move. I need to walk… I can't stay still any longer." As well as she thought she felt, Jaken made little as to whether he would allow her from bed, but as he began to close the door he halted.

"If you leave make sure that my Lord doesn't see you. He has more important things to do than be bothered by you." The door closed and a smile graced my face for the first time in what felt like weeks. I stood from my bed and looked for my clothes, but they were no were to be seen. _That little worm..._

I sat a moment in a chair the adorned the room. It was beautifully furnished as was the last room I had stayed in while here and as like the other this room had large windows and a balcony. A few chairs and end tables donned the room. Thick mainland carpets made the room rather luxurious looking and in the corner a closet stood made of thick dark red wood. A second thought and I was at the closet going through clothes that were obviously _not_ a woman's. Men's clothes that were far too baggy, even some rather expensive looking celebration clothes. Those I refused to touch as I thought I may ruin them.

"…No choice…" I picked the smallest looking clothes I could find. Leggings of a pale grey and a dark blue shirt soon hung from my thin limbs.

"These are far too big…" I glanced in the mirror that was the inside of the closet door. I looked like a child wearing her older brother's clothes which I had to cling to keep on. The shirt hung so loose the neck dipped down one shoulder and the pants I had to hold onto if I wanted them to stay on… I sighed. _This will not do._

"I need string or thread... string or thread, sting or thread..." The shirt I let hang and I held my pants up with one hand so as to open the door which I closed quietly behind me. It took a moment to figure out where I was in Sesshomaru's estate, but I figured it out eventually. A few pictures hung on the walls that I had not seen before. Some of men and women that looked human and some that clearly were not. A picture of a woman in white caught my eye and I drew closer setting my fingers along the frame of the artwork to inspect its beauty.

"What are you doing?" I nearly jumped out my skin and turned to face the way I had come.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" I sputtered out nothing but garble after that. _Stupid. Stupid!_ Sesshomaru stood in the door next to the one that lead to my own room. His hand still held the door open behind him and he wore a rather odd looking gesture on his face, one that I had not seen yet. "I'm sorry." I bowed in respect. "I didn't have my clothes so I put these ones on in the room there and their too big so I was just looking for string to tie them... I... I'll be out of your way." I took in a deep breath and bowed again struggling to hold up the pants. _Idiot... Half-wit... Fool!_ I cursed my own idiocy.

"String… that may be found in the room second from the end." He gestured in the opposite direction I had come. I waited expecting to hear more as he still stood with his hand still holding the door open.

"Hai… Uh... yes" I waited and his face returned to its normal nonchalant feature.

He closed the door and I started towards the room he had indicated and passed him by I almost wanted to run. After a moment he started on his way and I paused and turned back to him.

"Thank you, Sesshomaru-same." And I turned quickly back around. It was odd speaking with him for some reason. Perhaps it was the feeling of being in debt to someone that had now twice saved my life, whether inadvertently or no...Either way I ended up finding the string I needed to fix the clothes I wore and returned to my room to rest.

"Where have you been? And what are you wearing? Those... those are my Lord's clothes!" Jaken almost had an aneurism before hobbling over and tugging at the pants; I yanked them away from his little hands and hiked them back up.

"I don't know where mine are and this was all there was! My Lord didn't mind when he saw me with them. He actually pointed out where to find string so as I can tailor them to fix me better." I stepped out of reach in fear Jaken might tear my clothes from me and run.

"My Lord saw you out and about? I said to stay away… Oh…! He saw you in his clothes? Oh…" Master Jaken left the room cursing humans, but more so women and I wondered what punishment might come from this. I simply took the pants off and threw a bed sheet over me while I fixed the pants to my liking.

It was an odd feeling after years of solitude to be around people and beautiful things with little worry. I felt safe here and _almost_ like I fit in amongst demons. I was well fed and little was made of my presence so I helped hold my own by helping Jaken keep to the estates up-keep. With years of tasting foods {and there poisons} I had grown a decent affinity to taste and could make a meal well enough for the likings of a demon and his lesser companion. After only a quarter hour a knock came at the door and startled me from my work on the clothes. I hadn't even fixed one pant let yet. I apparently was unable to think and work at the same time.

"Come in." Only after having said so did I realize that my thoughts had caused me to drop string and needle on a lap that was covered only by bed sheets…


	9. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 9

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

_"I think that my heart learned new ways to beat and in speeds I'd have thought unimaginable. I'm also sure that my face learned that the amount of blood it normally carried was not the maximum amount. Had I realized that my daydreaming would turn out into such a mess, I'm sure I'd had made sure to poke myself with the needle to keep my head clearer."_

"Wait! Stop!" The white hem of clothing swished past the doorframe, but never once did she see a figure appear. "I'm sorry. Please wait." She grabbed the clothing she was working on and pulled it up as fast as she could so as not to keep him waiting. When dressed, she ran to the door and held it the rest of the way open for him to enter.

"I'm sorry… I forgot where I was…" She babbled; later it would cause her grief.

He said little to nothing for a moment and then stepped inside the threshold which was her current living quarters. He stayed silent and motionless like some 'thing' had his attention and he would not lose his concentration for anything, but the moment passed and he turned to the bed which she had not gotten to make since being in it last.

"I'll straighten up as soon as you leave. I did not mean to leave it like this." She bowed repeatedly and he turned to her, staring at her, penetrating every sense of being she was and reading all she had been and would be. A small breath escaped his mouth, barely even noticeable and his attention was again averted.

"Jaken, come in." Sure enough, Master Jaken opened the door bristling with a box in his hands. He glared at her a moment and then held it out for her to take.

"What is this Master Jaken?" She did not wait to hear as she walked over to a stand and opened the box as soon as it was put down. A few garments lay inside of it folded neatly. New and beautifully made, colors as bright as if stolen from spring flowers; the kimono inside was more than she could have bought with a life time of earnings. Before she could protest, the door closed behind her and only Jaken stood at hand.

"I cannot take these." He glowered.

"That's what I wanted to tell him…" He looked down at the kimono. It had only a few layers which were light blue with a white under slip. The top had strips of the same light blue, but with a light yellow under top that was somehow silvery. Over all the kimono was light and airy feeling and after trying it on she simply could not imagine leaving the room in it. She would surely get it dirty somehow.

"Can I really wear this all of the time?" She looked in the mirror while she spoke with Jaken.

"No. There are other clothes in the box yet for normal wear. This is for occasions only." Jaken made his-self clear and she changed into the other clothes that were inside the box. White pants much like the ones Sesshomaru himself wore and a red top which tied in the back that Jaken need tighten for her to wear.

"Thank you Master Jaken. I will make something very special this evening for you and my lord, Sesshomaru." This seemed enough for Jaken and he left without complaint. For the next few days she kept busy making her lords estate all orderly and such. The only room which she kept from was Sesshomaru's. This room alone Jaken attended. So for now, she cleaned the kitchen. The dishware and pots needed to be organized and she made well by doing so. It wasn't until she stood from her work that a doubt of dizziness took hold. Her hands began to shake and she reached for the table which seemed to pull away and she fell forward after it.

A hard something gripped her arm tightly and stopped her from falling to the floor.

When she managed to see she saw Sesshomaru. For a while he had been out of sight, but never so much as to be out of mind.

"I'm sorry. I'll straighten up right away." When she went to turn his arm still gripped her and she turned to see if she 'd done something perhaps wrong. His face was the same, but gears in his head clearly turned.

"I'll have tea." He released her and stepped out into the parlour room. As the water boiled for his tea, she cleaned the rest of her mess and brought the tea out after steeping it long enough. She set it down in front of him and he took it without thanks, but that was his nature and she'd grown used it; Simple as that.

"It there anything else you need?"

He nodded his head ever so slightly. _Does he never say more than a few words at a time?_ She forgot what she'd thought as quickly as it had come. Those kinds of thoughts he always seemed to hear; even the unspoken ones.

"Sit." Only after a moment of silence did he add more. "If you would." She sat across from him while he drank in the imported tea from the mainland. "It has come to my attention… that you seem to be less… volatile." In his bluntness she missed what he meant and only stare. _He speaks _"Your adverse side-effects have lessened since your encounter with a certain demon." She recalled the woman, but could only associate the memory with... some thing else.

"She had something to do with it… So I thought. Jaken is not even affected, though he a demon I suppose he would be fine either way... Light... Was it the light? That healed me?" She called herself to caution… her last encounter with daydream had been almost ruinous. Talk of light may make him rue the keeping of a human woman.

"What light?" He looked ever so intent and she settled to explain the matter as best she could.

"...At first I was swallowed in shadow." _I was cold. I was alone._ "I felt ill and sickly and thought almost that I may die… but..." _I didn't want to die. I've never _wanted _to die_… "a light consumed the shadow _and it was so warm.._. It was blue and warm. A strange" _lovely_ "feeling… Something unexplainable" _and beautiful_ "to the senses... perhaps I was so closed to death that I witnessed something spiritual..." _If I could feel that way once more before I die... _That was all she could say. She had no other way of explaining it to him, but he seemed satisfied if not mildly mystified. She could only imagine what he'd think if she told him the truth. _Nonsense..._

"I see." There was no more conversation after and she waited while Sesshomaru finished his tea. "There is a small village at the base of this hill to the north. I'm sure with your history... contact has been dangerous. So long as you keep to yourself… While there, bring a few things that I require. I will leave a list for you." She nodded and stood to take leave... but after a moment she realized; that for all that Sesshomaru was the same on the outside as usual, inside he seemed at odds with himself. Perhaps he was ill and what she was getting for him while in the village would help him.

"Should you need anything else Sesshomaru-Ue, I'll be more than happy to do so." She removed herself quickly. She'd learned that putting herself forward for someone like him was embarrassing. Talking to a demon-lord about warmth-filled light and such was rather embarrassing as well. _You're a fool Rem.._. Even if she had become abrasive in her past years of servitude, she was still clearly capable of mortification apparently.

"Rem." She paused, this was the first time Sesshomaru had said her name… She'd thought perhaps he didn't even know of it. "Jaken will accompany you to the village." She could not move. She was frozen with the oddest feeling and it lingered even after Sesshomaru left the room.

Either way she was confused about the situation. First she doubted a demon needed medical healing of any kind... She wondered if they could even get sick. Second was _asking _her to go to the village and get him things. Also to allow Jaken as company... though he would act more like a guide than anything else it didn't sound very... Sesshomaru.


	10. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 10

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

Hours spent locked up in this room. Passing like a caged animal; nothing satisfying the mind. The sun was too bright, the air too cool. Not even work dulled the sense of … something that had no word.

The human girl-child had taken up residence in my estate with no protest. I didn't even say she could stay. I didn't say she need leave either. Pacing back and forth I watched the sun move bit by bit across the sky. The woman had a way, some force to cause me to be uncomfortable. In her presence she waited like a doting child for orders to do something. Never impatient, always available and never still; The woman cleaned from sun rise to days-end and never missed a thing whether it was calling for tea or Jaken and his blasted pestering blabber. And worse, outside her presence I found myself off topic. Papers needing be signed ended up with thoughts of what that confounded woman was doing. If I dropped something I wondered what she her-self was cleaning and if a curtain so much as fluttered I wonder if she did the most mundane human chores like dusting. If I grew hungry I wondered what food she might create with her pale and nimble fingers and how she learned such things when her life was a secluded one.

"Secluded." The words felt like saw dust in my mouth. She had spent years in solitude and confinement. Her only experiences outside of her sheltered world were ended with death greeting her with open arms. Lords, demons and human we're her enemies. She was a human like no other and had no place. Humans would torment her and in their presence she would have no quiet in fear of her 'abilities'. Demons hated and ate humans. They were cattle to the slaughter and would never except her under any circumstance. Whether human or demon; people of status would seek only to abuse her further.

Solitude and impatience got the better of me and I made for the door, but my senses picked up footsteps from the next room.

'_She is awake.'_ I stood a moment listening in silence. In my efforts to return her to the only place I could think of, I placed her in the room next to my own. It was convenient at the time. The sounds of something being tossed around, doors opening, closing and swinging made me wonder.

'_What__** is**__ she doing?'_ My ears picked up more sounds and then the main door opened and slammed shut. Jaken's voice entered my head and he muttered something in frustration.

Then silence.

'_What am I doing?'_ I made for the door again, but then Rem's door opened. Footsteps in the hall faltered and then stopped. They were light as if she weighed no more than a few pounds. Silence again. I noted that I was talking only to my-self and in my own head. I admonished that I would not listen and cower in silence like a human thief. I opened the door and stopped again. Rem stood and glanced in a trance like state at a picture which hung from the wall; a picture like few others; my mother. More startling was what she wore. She wore clothing of mine from my youth. It clearly didn't fit her as she clutched it tightly to hold it up while the top was nearly falling of off her arm.

She turned after a moment of standing while my hand still rested on the door handle.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" She spun on her heel and her face drew blood from everywhere else and gathered in her face. _An interesting human response. _Onethat I did not understand in the slightest. It had no purpose what so ever, but was never the less interesting.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have my clothes so I put the ones on in the room there and they are too big and I was just looking for string to tie them… I-I'll be out of your way."

I was amused that she managed all of that in one breath. Even more so that she didn't think of **who's **clothes she might be wearing. Demons, a man's and what was worse, ones that even if tailored would never fit. The image was amusing and yet I found something else troubled my mind. Some thing I could not explain, place into words and hours later when I thought about it, would not be able to explain why or how.

"String... '_She is a seamstress as well...' _That may be found in the room second from the end." I pointed down the hall with my eyes still on her. Did she not care what she looked liked? That she had dawn men's clothes? **My clothes**? Somehow that thought bothered me less that I would have assumed… _She is wearing my clothes..._ Nothing. No irritated reaction at all... '_Interesting.'_

"Hai… Did you need anything else of me?" I turned my thoughts back to the business at hand.

'_Yes.'_ Belatedly I realized I stood staring absentmindedly at a woman in my clothes holding the door wide open. I shut the door and Rem passed by for the room I had indicated. '_You never did answer her.'_

"Thank you, Sesshomaru-Ue." Not ever having been titled 'Ue' before. It startled me... and I found myself watching her as she walked away. _Ue… meaning 'above'… a high amount of respect..._ garnered for a **human** woman. _What had I done to deserve this honorific from her_? _'Did it even matter, she is only human._' Something made me irritated with my own comment...

"Woman…" Suddenly I realized with growing curiosity and agitation that I'd stopped seeing her as a _human_ girl-child and more as a 'woman'… _What does it matter what I think of her or no? _Years of her placement in a house with high rules had surely taught her this knowledge. Yet there it was; a word and level of humility she would never have given willingly considering her background of torment… and yet here he stood… honoured as Ue…

After an hour of pacing absentmindedly and avoiding such tasks as the running of my estate, I returned to my room and found myself instead at Rem's door. My hand moved without checking itself and rapped against the door. The sound startled me and I drew a step back wondering if I should just leave. _Why leave...? It is my own home._ My voice even in my mind sounded unsure as to what exactly I was doing. Was such a thing even possible? _I am being foolish._

"Come in." A few solid heart beats and I opened the door, forcing a neutral tone to my face; it didn't feel composed.

A quickly inhaled breath made me step through the door with some amount of anxiety for some reason_. _

_Has something happened? Could something be… wrong?_


	11. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 11

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

_"If I knew that every encounter that day would change my life and the way I saw, I might, if pre-informed, have left hours earlier. Today's events would mark my life changed and reinforce that my existence was not one that the god's breathed life into for their amusement."_

"Jaken, Hurry!" She had lost her senses since morning. She had reverted for sure into the child she had been before hell decided to consume her life.

"Damn it woman! Keep still so can catch up!" The little toad demon hopped furiously as I left him behind. Although not but a few hours ago really, I was told for certain, that I could be in contact with humans, if only a little. I was still afraid I may suddenly return to what I was before, the monster that could not even be touched.

The little village burst with life. It was odd to think such a human-packed village was so close to the human-disliking demon lord of the West. Women bought breads and herbs, meats and spices. Men carried loads for people not able to carry the heavier loads. Children ran around with no worries. An audible sigh escaped my throat. It was relieving to see such normal actives, ones that I could now possibly enjoy.

"You need any help dear?" An old woman stepped from her shack of selling goods; her sudden appearance startled me.

"Ah, no. I was just admiring the view." I glanced at the old woman who settled into a chair.

"Are you in need of something?" At first I went to say no, but then caught myself. _I am here for a reason._

"Ah yes… could you tell me where I might the herbalist in his area. I'm in need of some wares and items only he may carry." The old woman nodded her head a moment in thought and then clapped her hands together.

"Yes, yes. I know of him. He is on the out skirts of the village so to say. He sets up just up the side winding hill. Tell him that I sent you." The old woman smiled and sent me on my way. It was so strange to interact with people now; I feared I might forget my past in some way.

.

Never the less the path I walked was beautiful. I passed the small village by a bit and rounded up and around the hill over viewing a great green landscape with a lake a shade of blue that I'd never seen before. Eventually the dirt trail wound up the hill and I crested the peak; taking a glace to the village and in the distance the western estate which looked more like a fortress than anything else.

"Hello?" I could not see any stand and thought perhaps I needed to go farther. I called again for good measure. "Hello?"

"Hello." And everything went black.

.

The hours had passed. That much I could tell. I no longer left the warmth of the sun nor the breeze that carried that fresh smell from baked goods and spices. It had also grown colder, but that was the least of my worries. A heavy weight pressed me to the ground; dirt and something else mixed around my tongue and nausea rose in my stomach.

"Blood…" My mouth felt thick and my mind slow. My ankles and wrists were bound behind me and they had cramped painfully in the time that I had been out. Belatedly I realized that I was either moving or the ground that I lay against was. The cart I was jostled around was old and by the smell and feel; who ever had kidnapped me threw bags of dirt to cover me up; to hide me.

"She awake yet?" A man muttered somewhere around me and the bags on top began to shift. My mind raced and I fought does the urge to look at my attackers and pretend to sleep still as the last bag was removed. I repeated to myself over and over in my head. _'Be silent, be still.'_ But by the time I had said it a second time a foul smelling something wafted by my face and I convulsed unwillingly.

"She's awake. I was thinkin' you might 'ave hit her too 'ard. Might 'ave killed 'er when you tossed her 'ead. "

"That would have been a sorry loss." The other man turned from his place and I actually recognized a familiar face. Long blond hair, wavy and somewhat matted; he had been one of the hand attendants when she was under the south's rule.

"Rem. Been a while, no?" He smiled somewhat half heartedly and turned back to watch the road.

"You, you didn't die!" A joy I would never be able to explain to another person broke me inside. I had not killed less than I had assumed.

"No. I didn't'. Nearly though… I'm sorry to have to do this... I didn't mean to. I… never condoned what they did to you." I didn't understand. My mind was still running slow and the confusion only muddled me further.

"What are you doing, Takashi? What have you done?" I turned to try and sit up, but the other man threw me down again and glared before he threw a couple bags on me to stop my movements.

"I don't work for the south. They think me dead and I like it that way. But what a price I paid for my freedom. I have to make sure than if I'm to be let go, another person takes my place. I chose you because you are strong. Body and mind." He turned and looked at me for the last time before the last of the bags were thrown back on top.

I never did see his face again.

"That her?" An old woman's voice, dominant and strong. "You're free to go little Takashi." The shadows hid her face from view and I wanted to kill her, but not even that seemed to be with me anymore. No touch that was lethal to kill in the second it took to take in air; nothing. I wanted to kick and scream, but my throat burned and was dry with thirst which stopped me. I couldn't even lift my wretched head and I fought off moans of gratitude when they took me away: my limbs ached with pleasure to be able to bend again and no longer be in that horrid position. But as they shoved me head long into a cot I wanted to search for the closest thing to a knife and defend myself but there was nothing and I began to work at the ropes which bound me instead.

"I could just undo those… if only you'd ask." I cranked my head as far as I could to see the face of the sly voiced visitor.

"Who are you?" My words were as toxic as I had never been by touch. The man sat crossed legged in elegant robes of black and silver. Long black hair and beautiful as the satin on his robe which hung to his waist and tied back. A smile as sweet and innocent as the circumstance of their meeting was crude and inhuman. He had the face of an angel.

"You definitely don't lack for passion. It does match your beauty." He leaned forward and tucked his hand under my chin then took a blade from the table at his side, then sliding it down my back, cutting the restraints on my hands. I eyed the knife without hesitation. If the chance rose for its vacancy I would take it in a heartbeat.

"What do you want?" His grin was full of playfulness that I didn't buy for a second.

"You ask the right questions. Very apt I see. Another admirable aspect of yours, I think I will tell you of the uses I wish to… acquire from you." And he laced his fingers, still cross legged and leaned back.

"Just spit it out." _I hate you. _I wasn't sure why yet other than what I had already been through, but I could tell, by the end of this conversation I was going to loath him.


	12. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 12

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

_"He spoke quickly and quietly if not at all polite yet... with dark intentions. I would always recall the voice which had filled the tent that night soft as water and strong as steel; the ultimate defence. Even though he touched my hand and face with gentle gestures I could tell he was a man marked in life and by fate. Mark for death; by death"_

"Freedom was never acquired without effort, Rem. Sweet Rem, you will earn your freedom, just as young Thane had." I curtailed the need to strike the silver tongued man as beautiful as he was.

"I want your name. Your name for the completion of the task you have giving me. Count it as your payment for my treatment." I danced a very dangerous battle with words and he parried with ease.

"Davien. Should you want the rest I'd hurry back to my side with the completion of your task under your belt. And do not forget, little dove, I will want proof." He stepped towards me and slid a hand under my chin. I revolved at the thought of his blood in my mouth if I bit him. "And my dear, your freedom is earned with this, remember that well, but even if your freedom has a calling within the embrace of my arms, I would gladly accept such a fate. A woman as… talented and endowed with a beauty to match no other is not something I will pass on. You have enchanted me." His hand slid past my chin and he clutched the back of my neck, pulling me in. I narrowly avoided his lips as I turned my head away. "So very cold, my little dove, but do remember, I have a place here for you if ever you need it." He released me with no further attempts and I ran with careless speed away from the encampment that had kidnapped me.

.

I had much to worry about. This man asked a great deal of me and I had no choice, but to accept. I knew as well as any, that if anyone could heal me of this, curse, then it was the sage this man spoke of. A simple task, as he put it, was required of this. But not only was the task far less then just a task, the whole thing weighed heavy in my heart. A task I was not willing to commit to even with my freedom at stake.

"_You have a place in the world like no other, little dove and I would like you to take advantage of what I offer. The Lord whose house you reside is a very wealthy and well protected man. You have many things that can aid you in doing what it is I ask… I want the lord of the west dead. Rem, in doing this I can offer you something no other can give. No other can make or even enchant on you. I give you the chance to turn back the hands of time… and purify your body. Removing all impurities, such as illness, age and even harm cause by past and present poisons. I offer you your life, back into your hands and I'll I ask is that you rip the immortal fabric then seems to embody the demon that lives as the Lord of the west. Kill him without doubt, bring me proof and this cure, is all but yours."_

_._

The demon was none other than the evil intent of the man called Davien. I was not fooled so much as to believe that was his name, but the thought of having a life to live _was_ a notion I fought hard about but I pushed from my mind. Surely he lied. No man or even sage could have this 'cure' I my-self would seek. And why did he, Davien have it? It would have to be cruel amounts of luck to have the cure that I needed for a price I could actually exact…

"No…" It was not a price I could attain. The lord of the west had _saved_ my life. Whether it was a hard one, without him I would have no life to 'save' let alone live. I stormed away and down the winding hill where they said I could return to the village I had been before the kidnapping.

"Davien…" He was nothing more than a vile demon himself; Jealous of Sesshomaru for sure. Only wanting a place in power that was not his to have… surely… The thoughts of freedom, 'true freedom' plagued my mind and I flung her hands over my ears to silence them.

"Be quiet! Leave me be!"

Silence.

"I said where have you been? I have looked all over for you. I thought you had run away. His lord-ship said I wasn't to return until I found you and shut the main gate to bar me out…. And this is how you replay me? By screaming at me?" I pulled my hands from my head.

"Jaken?..." I allowed myself to ease and found tears streaked my face.

"Don't, No, Don't hug me." I lunged and grabbed the little toad and squeezed him. For even this little creature had a home in my heart it seemed and I had actually missed him. Even his annoying talk of human women was acceptable right now.

"Let's go Jaken. And thank you; for looking for me." I smiled and he flailed his arms wildly and ran ahead of me, but not before I saw the light tinge of red in his cheeks.

The Estate loomed in the distance and in the past few hours had grown in size as I drew closer and closer. Within the failing hours while the sun still shone on the lands and the main gates shut tightly.

"I brought her back already, now let me in!" The gates opened slowly and with the sound of grinding metal. No one opened the gate; it just did of its own accord. Only three that I knew of remain in the estates grounds. Jaken, Sesshomaru and herself.

"Jaken, Might I stay outside for a while?" He shook his head and pushed towards the doors.

"No, I had to chase you, a human girl around the whole town and for what?" He shoved me again, but stopped as the door opened its self like the main gate.

"My Lord!" Jaken crawled on hands and feet towards Sesshomaru. "I found her for you. Finally." He glared back at me and continued to grovel.

"You left." This was all he said and I felt tears well in from behind eyes against my wish.

"I…I did not." I refused to wipe the tears from my face like a bumbling child.

"They why did you not return when requested?" I started at him suddenly and wanted nothing more than to slap him, but knew better. He would kill me if I raised a hand to strike him. I could not tell him what had happened. He would be resentful and doubt me; that I must have agreed to such an evil deed if I had been released. He would think I meant to end his life.

This thought forced tears more than those shed at my parent's death. Instead of trying to answer his question and make myself look like a traitor I turned and fled.

"Stop!" Jaken yelled after me and I ran harder fearing I would be chased, but Sesshomaru made no move to chase me or even chastised me. I ran passed the open main gate which towered over me and ran into the forest.

.

I could not face him. I could tell him that I had been offered freedom for his death and that I had even thought of taking such an offer. A devils bargain. He would have thrown me out again anyways, this way I thought I garnered some kind of respect. This way, I would not be wholly hated; only misunderstood in my escape from him. The shining demon that risked many things for a woman who existed in another world them him; a woman and demon were different. I would be happy with what I chose. I would not return to the estate or to Sesshomaru. Nor would I find haven in the house of a madman, Davien… But if Davien wanted Sesshomaru dead, then only with my presence did he think it could be exacted. Without me there he would simply ignore Sesshomaru as unattainable.

My head thumped with pain and after a few hours in the dark my senses dulled as sleep tugged me away. I dreamed of returning to the estate by cover of night and trying to kill Sesshomaru. I dreamed of the demons that had tormented my vision when I had killed the previous lord of the south and then the death of my parents in vivid recollection. I screamed in apology and for forgiveness and then wept when I could sleep no more from fear.

"Save me…"


	13. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 13

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

_"I could never return. Not so long as I was seen as an object to take another's life. Not when he had given me what I had never had; a place. Sesshomaru would not weep with my absence nor would Jaken. Only I; the woman that thought and even if just once, to take the life of the only person to give me a chance."_

It was cold and wet with rain. It had done so since I had fled the estate that housed the regal and beautiful demon-lord of the west. Shivering and ugly I sat beneath trees in hopes that they would protect me from the elements, but the only time I found solace was when I slept dreamlessly. That was when I was warm. Memories that pleased me kept the nightmares at bay, Memories of a house and warm food and even when silent the lord's presence and even his servant.

"I'm sorry…" I clutched my clothes to myself tighter as if it would starve of ill feelings of loss and regret. I was mindless of my surroundings while I thought back to small things. No animal or person came within ear shot and no sights of the suns bright light came to bring cheer.

"I have to move." Although I told myself this, if took time for me to gather the required energy to drag myself to my feet.

"Where do I go?" It was not a true question, only a statement of my being alone. Without direction or cause I heedlessly took step after step. I was soaked thoroughly and my body quaked against my pleas for them to stop. The trees all looked the same as did every way I turned and the forest was completely without difference and this only seemed to sink in the feeling of being alone.

Hours. Hours I trod along dirt paths onto more dirt paths. All the same, the sun was the only change along with the varying degrees from which my body shook.

"Stop... stop it… STOP IT!" I shouted after a long time of failed attempts of fighting of unnatural shivers which caused some thing in the trees to set flight and startled her. Mud covered my body as I fell and cried.

"You… ok?" I looked up and ran without trying to see whom the voice came from. "Wait!" I just ran. Frightened, panicked and apprehension fuelled my need to run from civilization. I would never be welcome to any. Only death was an assured thing in my future. Perhaps that future was closer than I thought.

"I said stop!" The voice was right behind me, it boomed in my ears and my legs felt like sand; think and heavy.

"No!" I felt my shirt tug, _'Of all the stupid things...'_ but the grip let go and as I thought I might get away I was tackled head long into the mud. "Let go of me you fool. I swear I will kill you…" My breath caught short and I whipped around to face my attacker.

"I said 'stop', woman. This is my land and you're trespassing. Do you know who I am?" He seemed to stop suddenly as I thrashed to escape. "I'm not gonna hurt you, miss… it's just that you startled me. I thought you might be someone trying to sneak on the grounds to steal." I stopped moving and tried to ball my legs under me to throw him off. He was crushing my airway and I only gasped and clutched at anything to pull away.

"…elp…" The weight shifted and removed completely. Panting and half unconscious I breathed in earthly, heavy air; cool and pleasant like no other.

"Here." A hand stopped just in front of my face and I took it. "I'm sorry miss. Are you lost or something?

The black dots that plagued my vision subsided. Reeling for an answer I nearly shouted at him despite the fact he was right in front of me.

"Yes." I swiped the hair that had fallen in my face away and stare at the man who chased me through forest and brush then took me to the ground nearly killing me. "I know not where I am…. Nor who I am." I would make a clean slate for myself; Even if it was a lie.

"Is this true?... Well…" The man ran his hands through his hair. He was taller than me and was lean in figure.

"Who are you?" I stared at the man whom was almost more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen let alone a man… save for one. Either way I wanted to smack him for tackling me the way he had.

"I'm the s… I'm Sol… Just Sol." He paused a moment and held his breath. Shifting from side to side he tried as best he could to clean the mud and grim from his clothes to no avail.

"Sol… An odd name… Where are you from, just Sol?" He took a moment before answering.

"I'm from this area. This is the Hendo area. Just outside of the Western lands. Right on the border actually. You?... Oh wait. You wouldn't know. Umm." He scratched his head and tousled his hair. " I know you don't know where you can go, not knowing who you really are. I have a house. It's my father's but he lets me stay there to do work. If you'd like, I can feed you and cloth you…. That is only till you know where you can go and such." He blurted the last bit out. He was a shy boy it seemed. The kind of shyness a child had when introduced to strangers.

"You… would do that?" I looked almost suspiciously. Kindness was not something I had witnessed much in the human race and it was startling. My previous bouts of trust had led to my downfall and disgrace. Never the less he nodded his head and with a moment he stood with grace which was hard when covered with muck.

"Follow me… Can I give you a name?" I held my breath and nodded. This would be part of a new beginning. A new name. "Then… how about…. Amaterasu….?" He blushed and turned his head away.

I simply grinned at such a high name. It was derived from '_ama_' meaning '_heaven_' and '_trasu_' meaning '_to shine_'. The woman in myth anointed with this name was a sun goddess whom ruled over the heavens.

"Thank you. Sol-san." I couldn't help grin and without turning around I took his hand firmly. After only a few moments of walking, the area cleared to reveal the stunning view.

"You see that? That's my home and I tend this vineyard." I gapped to find myself back in the world a new greatly about.

"This is beyond lovely." He stepped down a small hill and I follow and breathing deeply I inhaled the smell of grapes and fermenting fruit off in the distance.

"Sol? I think that Amaterasu is too long and formal. Perhaps just 'Rusu' between the two of us?" I stepped over a rock and Sol held out a hand to help me. I would have to make sure I remained normal to the touch otherwise I would start my old life all over again.

"I like that, Rusu-san."


	14. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 14

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"The house Sol took me too was beautiful. The windows were drawn and the wind brought in the soft smell of the flora that grew around his home. I couldn't have imagined such a place so close to such as Sesshomaru's. Cold and dark, while this blossomed with warmth. Much like my own home… once." 

"I have never seen such a house. I can only imagine what a loving family you have to have such a house. I envy you, Sol." Rem stepped to an open window and stuck her head out. Flowers grew on the side of the house and the blue blossoms emitted the smell of spring in its glory. "Absolutely beautiful."

"Yes. It is." From behind, Sol admired not the scenery, but the woman before him. When he had tackled her to ground before, he had not noticed the well tailored clothes that drew on… very fine attributes. Nor had he noticed her radiance; she was the most beautiful woman he'd seen and the name Amaterasu suited her just fine in his mind's eye.

"You mentioned clothes? I don't assume it customary to keep such when you said it's your home…" She turned and he was startled with her ability to perceive such. She was very intelligent.

"No, Not normally. I allow a friend of mine to stay in these rooms. He has a sister that accompanies him often and the clothes would be hers. I'm sure she would not mind and they would seem to fit you well. You have her… frame." He passed her for a closet and opened it and after rummaging found a dress that would not startle her.

It was true that he had a woman's clothes here and it was true that a friend of his frequented this place. But the 'sister' was far less, only a girl he dallied with in his free time. And the clothes quality… he had to search for one that was used often to hide the fact that the clothes were of a high make. He had also lied about a few little things about himself. He was the father of a man that owned these vineyards, but he was no commoner. His father was the King of China and he was its second heir to the throne. His brother's mother had died a month after his birth and the King feared his only heir would die and thus married soon after to sire another. Himself.

"These would be fine. Thank you." He almost wanted to tell her off for taking such high-grade clothes for granted and even the lack of attention towards the windows. The glass was almost perfect. No bubbles and such glass was expensive, but he abolished his thoughts. He wanted for once, to talk and converse with a person without the title and the gawking. Then there were always the women that tried to get into his bed for the title… Stupid women.

"I could help you?" Rem turned with a red face and he blushed madly. "Ah, not like that! You see, the back is laced. It may be hard to dress is all…" He trailed of as she closed the door and came out having managed of her own accord. How, he was unsure. Most women could not dress them self in this style of dress. It meant either she was talented and nimble with her hands or her background showed she was part of a court somewhere. Could she be hiding her identity like him? Was she running from duties much like he was?

"Ah, good. I have wine in a decanter. If you'd like some I can pour some. Or are you hungry? I'm not sure then you ate last…" His general concern left her humbled. He was well dressed and polite with seemingly no ulterior motive.

"I'm am hungry. I can cook. Rather well. If you'd like I can make something if you have the supplies?" She tipped her hip and rested a hand on her waist. She was most provocative and he had little care for women. Not that his taste didn't go in their direction, but his experience with them was tiring.

"That would be great. This way…" His voice was cut off as a knock came to the door.

"Could this be your friend?" Sol froze with stark fright. His friend was on a royal errand and had returned to China. He would not be back so soon.

"Your highness? Are you here?" A voice sang threw the door and she paused. Then fear took her. Could Sesshomaru have sent someone to take her back? But no, they would not have called her 'highness' that was madness. Or had he realized that she had spoke with a man that meant to take his life and wished to torture or worse? Then she realized something bigger.

"Your highness? What is this man talking about? Could you be…?" Sol shook his head and cursed. If he didn't say something soon his personal guards which he snuck away from would barge threw the door.

He had not run for no reason. His father, the King of China, had without his consent bided him to marry a woman he knew nothing of. Some Princess from god only knows where.

"Your highness. If your here please say something." Another knock on the door shook the frame around the door and dust fell.

"Hide me." Rem convulsed with fear. Her mind reeled with unrealistic terror. Sol felt a need to protect her. A strong one that would betray his identity which would make this woman run for sure. But his men scared her to shivering and his pity overrode his need to stay anonymous.

"I'm here. Stay outside. I've come to rest and in seclusion before my father runs my life to ruin." Sol gritted his teeth.

"I need to speak with you your highness. It's of upmost importance. About your brother." The voice was sly like liquid silver and she shivered for reasons other than fear. Sol turned to Rem and pointed to a carpet. She pulled it away and a door lay in the floor. She flipped it quickly and quietly and closed it just as the front door opened.

"Dammit Davi. I want peace. What is so important you need track me threw tree and hill to here?" Sol's voice was impatient and clearly he was angry.

"Tragedy has struck your family. Katsou is dead. He was attack on his way to see his fiancé's home. 50 men jumped his honour guard and slaughter them all. After being two days late his wife-to-be forced her father to meet them and found the scene. You're required to return. I was also told to tell you that your engagement his called off. You are the only heir now and negotiations will be made to see whether you will marry your brothers fiancé or not." Sol swore like the foot men who protected the previous lord of the south.

"I see. Give me solace." The door closed and Sol opened the door. At this point Rem could have beat him and screamed with her fists thrashing, but beating the heir to the King of China would mean death for her. She slapped his hand away and fumed.

"Your highness? You're the bloody Prince of China? You lied to me!" She lowered her voice. "Not even under the 'tutelage' of the lord of the south did I hear such lies. Bastard prince." Sol almost rose his hand to strike her, but that was his father's way. He was different.

"And you are so innocent? Lost memory? You lived in the south lands. You are just as guilty. So what is your name then?" She drew away from him. She knew new fears from this man and felt like death stood behind her.

"And what of your name? What of your lies?" She parried back with questions instead of answers.

"I am the second son and now heir to the emperor of China. Soloto Ichiou." He chuckled at the name now. He was named first son who is blessed. For he was his mothers first… and now the only. "Now you." She was saved answering. The door opened and a man stood in the door. Light blinded her and she could not see his face.

"Dammit Davi!" Sol… or Ichiou blocked her from the man in the door and she shuddered with sudden clarity.

"Davi…. Davien!" She pushed Ichiou from her way and before her stood the man who made a deal with the devil.

"Ah, little dove. I wondered when I might see you again." She almost gagged with the shock. She felt like she was been beaten and kicked in the stomach. When bile rose in her throat she pushed pasted Davien to outside and threw up in the flower garden.

"Davien? You know her?" She turned to see Davien smile with mirth.

"We have a … intimate association you could say?" Ichiou looked unimpressed.

"How so?" His face tensed and his hand clenched and unclenched.

"Nothing that is as important as sharing a bed, though I had wished..."

"Enough!" Rem forced herself to stand.

"Not so much, Rem. You seem to be having ill luck and have nowhere to go. I suppose you will accompany his highness and I when we return to China." Ichiou nodded and Davien turned back to Rem, but she held her fists in front of her. She would not be going with them.

"I see. You will not be returning it seems." Davien's face changed from entertained to unreadable.

"You're damned right I won't. I won't do as you ask. I will not kill him and I will die or kill you before I risk my lord Sesshomaru's life. You are scum as is your bastard prince. Come near me and I will make sure your eyes never lay sight on the sun, but only the dirt." She wanted to spit on them both.

"Rem, please reconsider. I am no longer engaged and I would make you mine if you saw fit to do so." He seemed sincere, but she was enraged beyond listening.

"I spit on your offer." And as she said, she spat on the ground before Davien's feet.

"I think that speaks words of what she thinks of you better than anything else. Not so tactful, but her point has gotten across." Rem spun and Sesshomaru stood behind her. Davien's expression suddenly making sense. Why fear her after all?

"My lord!" She felt weak, but Sesshomaru placed his arm around her waist which hid her shaking knees.

"We will bid you goodbye then. Have a safe return your highness." Sesshomaru turned and took Rem into his arms.

"My offer still stands should you wish to reconsider, Rem." Ichiou said her name with an agitation she did not understand. He really did want her to go with him. But even if she wanted to reply, her chance was taken. Sesshomaru removed physical embodiment and the sensation of warmth engulfed her senses.

"I remember this…" And even though she had no body to do want she wanted she returned the embrace of warmth with her own. Sesshomaru knew that she was no traitor and she would never harm him. She swore to herself, that she would never risk his live and do what ever she could, even if just a human to protect him. Even if it claimed her life.


	15. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 15

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I screamed for hours straight until my voice was horse. When I returned to the estate with Sesshomaru he had taken me directly to the room I had stayed in, my things yet untouched, sat me in a chair and left. I had thought nothing strange until the outside lock shut with a 'click' and I had not left since... What was going on?"

"Is he going to keep me here forever? Why take me back if only to lock me in a room? Dammit... LET ME OUT!" She called out with futility. She had already forgotten her vow to protect him and instead wanted to murder him. She had even lost her sense of adulthood because she was now screaming like a child. Her voice barely met the door. Many times she thought someone was standing outside her door and she would run, slamming on the door begging for release. No one ever opened the door. Her torment as Sesshomaru saw clearly fit in extracting was painful. In her years since she lost her family she realized where most other hearts grew to withstand such pains, hers grew weaker. A single tear cascaded down the front of her face, her expression empty. She was afraid of being behind locked doors.

"Let me free... Sesshomaru... I'm sorry." She peeled herself from the door and returned to the same chair Sesshomaru had placed her on. For once in her life she would do as she thought required of her, of her own will. He had placed her here and so she would stay. No matter how long it took to be forgiven and released.

Hours later the outer door open with not so much as a sound from displaced air. Complete silence. The shadows never moved even when Sesshomaru stood over her, she lay slumped over in the chair he had set her in hours before. Even when her voice grew tired then finally silent with strained speech and fits of tears, he had heard her. Every syllable echoed through his home and painted his mood sour.

"I know you would not run. I know you would not blame me either." He stood before her staring at her hair which lay covering her face. "What do I do, when the sole human I would have in my presence runs from me? How do I deal with you? What do I do with you?" He waited as if expecting an answer. "I am no better than the men who kept you caged before." He resisted the urge to set the stray hairs behind her ear and waited a few moments more.

"My Lord?" Sesshomaru turned and nearly smouldered Jaken with an intense glare. It was his own fault for not hearing him coming, but he would never admit his attentions had been draw away so easily and completely. "Will you need me further tonight? Or would you like for me to wait for you to leave so I may lock the door again?" Jaken shook where he stood. Three things frighten Jaken; Sesshomaru in silence, glaring and worse yet smiling.

"No. You may go and leave the door unattended. If she wishes to leave then so be it." Sesshomaru turned away without taking a second glance. Jaken had to jump out of the way to avoid being stepped on.

_"Why are you so angry my lord?" _The question Jaken posed was only to himself though. _"Why not just make her stay if her leaving pains you so?"_ But he would never say something so straight forward to his lord. His comings and goings were of his own accord and knew he had no reflections on what Sesshomaru did and didn't do, but his ignorance of his Lords latent hearing let Sesshomaru know what his servant thoughts were.

"Make her stay? Pains me?...I do not feel such emotions like humans?"' _... Make her stay... stay...'_ The word sat on his lips and the thought woke something in him: A deviant need to have her.

"Stay." And that was just what he was going to make sure she did. When finally the sun began to rise, Rem woke with it. The first thing she did was take in her surroundings. The door to her room lay open.

"Jaken?" Rem moved stiffly from the chair and walked to the door. For reasons beyond her knowledge she didn't want to open the door the rest of the way. A menacing something pulled her senses almost telling her to run. Instead she forced herself to open the door and regretted it almost instantly.

Sesshomaru stood before the threshold of the door, his presence consumed everything instead of merely directing the attention like he normally did. He loomed over her and she stepped away, the door frame bent as his hand reached out and grasped it, his feet took a step forward.

"I...I..." He frightened her. The marks on his face were elongated down his face and his teeth slightly hung over his lower lip.

"Sesshomaru?..." Her voice was still barely over a whisper, but not longer due to a lost voice.

Sesshomaru made another step forward and Rem close her eyes. The tear that slipped down her face was not of sorrow but up pure undiluted fear.


	16. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 16

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"My heart raced in the moment. I knew, without a doubt, that something had changed him... and for the worse. Before me he stood, claw and tooth, a menacing aura crossing the invisible barrier that was the door way."

Rem stepped back once more, Sesshomaru mimicking her movement's forwards. A single tear dripped from her chin and she attempted to slam the door shut and run. She barely made it past the frame as the door was thrown from its hinges. The sounding of thrashing furniture forced her to run away without looking behind her. She couldn't force herself to see the demon with such composure, lose it all in one moment.

"Gahhh!" A chair flew past her face and shattered before her. There was only one place left to go. The balcony door hung open; glass littered the ground where something had smashed the plain to thousands of shards. "Guide me." And she jumped from the balcony. It took only seconds to reach the ground level. The only thought passing threw her was that she was on the third floor and it was a long way down for a human.

The impact broke bones and she screamed as arm dislocated from her shoulder. Slowly, breathing heavy she rolled over and started to drag herself away when the ground shook with another impact. Before she could turn to face him again, Sesshomaru lifted her off the ground and her arm swung awkwardly; she screamed in agony.

"S-stop... Please..." She coughed and quaked in his one handed grasp. Even his eyes proved what she feared: He was no longer in control.

"Y-you..." The words seemed retched from Sesshomaru's throat. Almost like against his will.

"I... can't..." She could almost feel the blood run like tar in her veins. If he held her like this much longer she would pass out. Or worse. She forced her one good arm up and pulled on his sleeves to release her. More tears ran down her face unchecked.

"...omaru... Se... lease..." Black dots floated in and out of her vision, her mind running down into a spiral which she might not return from.

Her arm grew too heavy and she lowered it.

Her necked burned in his grip and she body grew heavy.

Finally her vision was all but lost. Only a sliver could be seen between the black dots. Her head fell against Sesshomaru's hand. Her lips pressing against his hand ran a shock through Sesshomaru's body forcing his troubled state of mind to be pushed back; his senses returning to normal. In one moment he relived his uncontrolled actions and lifted Rem into both arms. He had no words in him. He wouldn't apologize even if wrong. It just wasn't in him, but the guilt would eat away at him for the words he would leave unsaid. What had come over him lay unknown and slowly he felt the last grips of what ever over-threw him, vanish.

"Jaken." He only meant to say the word, almost a whisper, but it echoed into every room like a roar. Sure enough the little demon came, greener than his average complexion usually called for.

"Make her well." He walked away with her in his arms and almost, almost refused to look at the damage. As he carried her up the stairs he imagined the fall which she resorted to escape him. Every step burned the images into his mind. When he reached the door to her room which needn't be opened, the door lay across the room in pieces, half the furniture in shambles and glass shifted light everywhere. He passed her room and entered his own, resting her on the bed he barely used. For the most part she was fine, but her arm needed to be fixed now. He sat her up as best as he could and pulled. The arm was forced back into its socket and she screamed out even though she was unconscious. She sat up unaware of any thing and then leaned forward crumpling into Sesshomaru's lap. He didn't move away, instead he moved her into a better position, though still in his lap. He couldn't explain why such a thing left him breathless and the well trained ends of his mind scattered. Even his heart raced against his protests to stop, but it was not all bad. He didn't care that the girl-child lay in his lap, walked around in his clothes. Even that she made things difficult while he resided in his estate. He didn't mind her. Rather, for the first time, he enjoyed some ones presence other than Jaken. Something else he would never think let alone voice out loud.

He allowed his mind to drift with Rem in his arms. A state of nothing enveloped him and he thought, even if just for a moment, that he could stay like this forever. He picked Rem up and set her under thick covers and stepped back.

"My Lord?" Sesshomaru turned a trained glance to the little demon.

"She will stay here. For now." He needn't say what was already clear. Her room was destroyed and could not be healed properly there, so for now she would be here.

"Make her well, Jaken." The way he said Jaken's name sent a feeling of remorse across the room. Jaken felt for his masters unease and Sesshomaru had passed an appreciation that would set Jaken by Sesshomaru's side for eternity if need be.


	17. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 17

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"Light, that was all I was able to see for the next days after awakening. Silence, that was all I would hear, but for all I was alone, I felt warm. I sustained bruises on my body that ached when I moved even the slightest and a nose that bleed whenever it sought to. Jaken never once answered my many questions and Sesshomaru might as well have been a spirit. With me in thought were he was not in form."

Covered to the neck with blankets too warm for her, but unable to move them for herself, all she could do was lay in bed. Jaken made many visits while the one she wished to see and yet feared to all the same, would never come. Not even Jaken stayed long and she often felt restless. The sun would rise with her awake and set with her awake. Only the few hours during the night did she find sleep and only because the pain was over-ridden by exhaustion. Even that rest was not fitful; she often woke herself covered in sweat and his name on her lips, moments from screaming as she relived what she could only describe as moments of insanity.

"Leave me be... Disappear from my thoughts and do not hound me anymore." Rem lowered her head into her hands, pleading to the weaver of dreams to, for if just this once; rid her of her dark night thoughts. The door creaked open then and Jaken stepped in, meek like a child. A characteristic she doubted bode well and was unsure of what was going to happen. She had enough of being left in the dark, any longer and she would go mad.

"Jaken..." She sat up which made Jaken run to her bed side. He clearly wanted to tell her, in his usually manner to stay in bed. "I need to speak with Sesshomaru-sama. If he will not see me then I request to go and meet with him." She explained, but she had already made up her mind.

"Why must you speak with him? If my lord wished to be seen, he would. He is busy with matters of importance and mustn't be bothered." Jaken fiddled with his clothes and tried as best as he could to impose on her way out of bed.

"Then you must excuse me. I am not well dressed to meet with _my_ lord. You will have to leave while I ready myself." She pronounced heavily on 'myself', she was irritated that he thought she did not serve under Sesshomaru; like she was not worthy of it. She got out of bed from the other side, her shoulder which was swollen sent waves of pain lancing threw her, but she ignored them as best she could. She stopped on the way to her clothes left on the chair nearest the door to cover her mouth. Even the slightest smell made her stomach turn with nausea.

"Please return to bed." The polite tone Jaken used almost made her want to listen, but she refused.

"I am truly sorry, Master Jaken. I will rest once I get some answers. Thank you." She bowed in thanks and he clutched the bed sheet in his hands. She doubted he realized just how easy it was to read him in that moment. "Will you excuse me for a moment?" Jaken released the sheet and left without a word and closed the door behind him. She reached for her clothes and with quaking hands, she pulled on her clothes. When they had been removed, she wasn't sure if she could, but then she folded up the night gown and placed it neatly aside.

"Breath..." She forced the need to throw up what little food in her stomach she had and walk towards the door, but when she was just steps from the door it locked with a heavy 'clang'.

"I'm sorry, Rem-san. Go back to bed." Jaken's voiced came thru the door and a weak smile crossed her face as the sounds of Jaken's foot-steps faded.

"Dammit..." Rem wiped the sweat from her forehead and sat down in a chair. I was clear just who's room this was, but its owner never for came for clothes or even to rest; his smell, sweet and alluring floated over everything in the room. The chairs, the floor, the curtains, not the bed though. aith defeat in her hands she stumbled along the wall towards the bed side. She passed the window, sliding her hand along the walls to keep herself stable. It was then that the wall made a sound and silently swung open. She almost thought she was dreaming again, but the smell, his smell told her otherwise.

"Just... a little more." Her breathing came harder as she exerted herself. Her face grew hot and she again removed sweat from her brow. There was no light and she could see no end. She felt with one hand while the other gripped the knot in her side.

"Oh..." Her hand reached the end and a small sliver showed her where to push to open the door.

It swung open as quietly as the opening had and she stepped out. She was in the next room, which looked much like the one she was forced to rest in. Again black dots began to flout in and out of her vision and she stumbled onto the ground; clutching her side with one hand, trying to knead the knot away and holding onto the curtain by the window with her other hand.

"Damn...it." She breathed heavy and with her last strength kicked the secret door closed, a smile crossed her face. "At least... I could manage that... Jaken will be angry... when he cannot find me." She chuckled weakly and slide against the wall. The knot had faded, but she still clung to the curtain.

"This room too... It smells like him. I wonder if... he'll... come here...soon..."

"I have not left." Sesshomaru bent down and released Rem's hand from his pant leg and for the first time in over a week laid eyes on a woman that took a three story drop, risking death and not so much as cursed his name. He knew because even the slightest moan of pain could be heard in this room. He had heard her toss and turn, haunted by nightmares and shades, heard the silent pleas and her pent up breath as she muttered the name, the source of her agony. But never once did she curse him, speak ill of him, even though for once, he thought he was deserving of it.

"You need rest." It was more a self command; to return her to her room, his room. Hell, it didn't matter whose, but she needed rest. That command fell on deaf ears and he lifted her up and laid her on a bed sized couch.

"Why..." Even as he stood, hovering over her, he felt the urge, the unreasonable, unexplainable urge to rest her in his lap like before. "Why do you do this to me?" He voiced the question that had bothered him like nothing else. Even before that he fought reason as to why he was content with her presence and noticeably irritable without her. Not to mention what had forced him from his moment of animal-like rage.

"Sess...homaru...sama." Only above a whisper, but he heard her and bent down to catch what else she might be saying. He wanted to know. He thought what he might look like if someone entered the room, him standing over her in the dark. Something that he had never thought of, never bothered by before. What others may think of him.

Her breath continued in short bursts and he held his to listen. He could hear it, something even so quiet that he could not hear and tilted his head sideways to hear better. With a sudden jerk Sesshomaru flew his self backwards in surprise. He tumbled over a chair and caught is before it could tip over making more noise. He waited, in a tangled mess of clothes and chair for Rem to wake up. She never did. Slowly he stood up and sat the chair on four legs again and sat himself down. His mind blank his hand made its way to the side of his face.

He had not noticed in his attempt to hear her that his face had come so close to hers. He had not felt her breath on his skin or the sweet smell of her hair before her lips touched his cheek. He stared at her and felt heat rise in his face and for some reason and for the first time. He was embarrassed. And it didn't matter what else he thought of, it involved Rem. Her wearing his clothes, her gripping his pant leg and her gentle face as she slept in the small embrace of his arms.

He stood up quickly and removed his self form the room. Closing the door behind him he leaned his back against the door. His silver hair fell forward hiding his face as he lowered his head. He touched his cheek again and when the heat followed; he left down the hall in agitation.


	18. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 18

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I woke the next day in yet another room. It looked almost identical to the previous room which I slept minus a few pieces of furniture. This room I knew Sesshomaru used often as well as it smelled like him too. The only thing that slowly started to bother me was that he had so much, yet nothing personal. Expensive clothes, but not pictures or paintings... no mementos... nothing."

Rem slowly roused herself from sleep. She hadn't rested this soundly for a very long time and with effort she opened her eyes. A grumble escaped her tightly pursed lips and she rolled over. A sharp pain lanced throughout her side and she recalled memories she thought better left forgotten. She forced herself to sit up; still unaware that she was in her 'own' room.

"You have slept late." Sesshomaru stood at an open window. She had not noticed him dressed all in white against curtains that hid him from view.

"M-my lord." She pulled the blankets up to hide what every part of the night gown she was or was not in. His presence was intense even though he didn't look at her. He remained staring out side.

"I'm sorry. I've intruded somehow. I'll leave." She risked personal embarrassment and stood to leave with some effort. Sesshomaru's gaze never left the window.

"You wanted to speak with me?" He asked like he wasn't sure he even wanted to hear what she had to say; something which bothered her more than she wanted it to.

"Yes, but it can wait. I'll speak with you when you see it as not so much of an inconvenience." She said it almost with loath. Sure she was a woman and of course she was a human, but having to lower herself in that moment for him made her angry. "Excuse me." She slide an over coat over her shoulders and made for the door, but the length of the coat was too long and she stumbled. For a moment she sat on the ground, raging, she wanted to throw things, break things and scream. She couldn't even walk out with some sort of grace.

A porcelain hand reached down to help her. Hands beautiful in ways few could manage. They were both gentle and fierce, soft and uncompromisingly masculine. Thinking of Sesshomaru as gentle and soft almost wanted to make her laugh, but it remained never the less true and she looked up to see Sesshomaru; hand out stretched to help her.

"Thank you." She took his hand and he turned his face away as he helped her to her feet. To avoid making herself look like a complete fool she hiked the over coat and opened the door, stopping half way. "May I ask something?" She waited and he nodded, his gaze having returned to the window.

"Are you well?" Sesshomaru tensed slightly and turned enough to see her out of the corner of his eyes.

"Demons do not fall ill." She nodded agreed with the answer.

"It's only that you are flushed. I thought perhaps you may have fallen to a fever, but you're right... I assumed on human experiences." She closed the door and left him alone. His hand squeezed the windows frame until it splintered.

.

The sun had risen into the 3rd hour of midday nearly a week later and Rem forced herself outside. Air was something she needed and Jaken often ignored seeking her out in the places where the trees grew thick. So this is where she hid to breathe without the little master's orders and the constrictions in breathing whenever Sesshomaru loomed around her. She found it somewhat odd that where ever she wound up, he soon follow suit. She could be making tea and Sesshomaru would find himself staring out the kitchen window. He was always there, but never looking at her. Always staring out the window as if all of life's secrets could be found there: between the layers of glass. And she knew from the feel in the air, crisp and tart, that Sesshomaru loomed near.

"Do you often need to hide among the weeds?" It was such an odd question from him. She almost asked if standing over everything was a requirement of estate.

"No, but if I do not Master Jaken finds it in him to drag me to bed." It was even odder to speak of normal things this to a demon lord; Sesshomaru of all demon lords.

"You to have healed well." That he had noticed improvements meant that it was her he was stalking lately and innocently she applied that knowledge.

"So you noticed?" She marked everything he did that she thought was out of normal; Starting with the twitch in his fingers. He didn't reply. "My lord. If you fear that I may be some threat than I hope I will clear that now. I wish no harm on you. Even if I could manage that feat of strength, I wish only for your health... Not that it is required." She ripped grass out of the ground and shredded it in her hands.

"I see." The only things she couldn't stand about demons were there lack of regards for humans. The other thing was that Sesshomaru barely every spoke more than 5 words to her.

"My I ask something presumptuous my lord?" He waited in silence weighing the odds and nodded for her to continue. He didn't care about much right now. He was at ease for once since his break in manner; Something that had left him at odds with himself.

"May I ask... why you are following me? Not just outside, but inside; the kitchen, the main hall. Everywhere." She grew heated and uncomfortable. She was not sure how he would react to such a question.

"I." He stopped himself from shuddering in shock." Do not follow people." But that was exactly what he _was_ doing and he knew it. When she was else where he couldn't do anything. He paced, tried doing work, but nothing stopped him from thinking... of her.

"Then it is my own imagination. Thank you." She watched him avidly. It was interesting to see what ticks he had. Little agitation made him twitch and stare. Bigger agitation made him... well. She didn't know. Right now his eyes switched position if like thinking on something very hard.

"Would you like something to eat?" She stood up with effort and waited next to him, but he said nothing. "My Lord?" She leaned forward slightly and he turned around rather quickly.

"Yes." She smiled and walked in front of him. She couldn't help but think he was sick and wouldn't say anything about it being a 'demon' and all. '_Demons don't get sick'_ after all.

The kitchen as outfitted like a humans would be and she knew it inside and out. She had everything she would need to make some thing for him. If he would not take care of his health then she would have to.

"Stubborn..." She reefed on a cupboard door which stuck often, but she spoke about Sesshomaru. "Is there anything you'd especially like?"

"No." So she left the rest to her imagination. She whipped up a meal fit for a king and sat it before him. His expression never changed.

"You manage food well." That was all he said. She thought he had to be starving to eat human prepared food like he did, but she smiled and cleaned up what mess she had made.

"I'm learned a lot when I was younger." She turned and leaned against the counter after taking his empty plate to the sink.

"You made a mess though." He forced simple conversation out of himself. For what ever reason, he just wanted to hear her speak. She seemed happy when she talked about certain things. Not that he cared if she was happy or not. "You'll have to shower." He looked at the mess remaining which was only her. Her hair which she spun on top her head was loose and tendrils of it fell out. Her face was red from cleaning up and her chest heaved from running around. Without realizing his hand rose to her elbow. '_What am I doing?'_ To stop him from looking stupid he reached passed her and took a fruit from a bowl. The infernal heat rose to his face again and he turned to leave.

"If a demon could become ill... would he say so?" He stopped, but continued without saying anything. '_I'm not ill...or perhaps I am...'_

The thought had merit._ 'Uncontrollable urges, rage, sleeplessness...?'_

Rem fumed. She had made him a meal, just for him, so he would get healthy and all he could say was that she was a mess. She also needed to shower, food stained her apron and she felt sticky with sweat.

"Fine." She took of the apron and threw it on the ground as she walked out of the kitchen. She didn't realize that she had tossed in on top of Jaken.

"Why that little girl!" Jaken stomped on the apron and seen the apron smoke. "What?" He straightened the cloth out and looked with interest at the missing hand shaped in the clothes. The outline still burned like it was dipped in acid. "Rem?" He rushed of down the hall.

Rem sat in the large size bathtub. Warm water was easy to come by in the more expensive houses in Japan. This was one of them and she loved it. A simple turn of a latch and hot water poured out and same with another but with cold water. A sigh left her lips as she soaked into the water.

"Jerk!" And that was just what he was, but that didn't change the fact his words hurt. She mildly noted the smell in the air... she assume it was the water until not only steam rose from the water.

"What in hell?" Just as she said that a crack pierced the air and the tub split on one side. "Dammit..." She reached or the side to get out when she seen something that made her heart race. The line where the water met air was melt and the water frothed. "No..." She knew what was happening.

"Rem." Jaken's voice came from behind the door.

"I'm coming." She threw a towel around her and opened the door. "It's back again..." She moved and let Jaken see the tub just as it cracked again and shattered. Water cascaded in to the hall and the carpet started to smoulder.

"Most volatile my little Dove." Rem turned, her teeth clenched as a hand wrapped around her waist holding her arms pinned down. Not that she could use both just yet.

"Davien?" There was no love in her voice.

"Release Rem." Sesshomaru's cold voice came from the other end of the hall. There was too much smoke and she could only see his outline.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" She knew that if she was toxic again she was going to use it. "Let me go you ...!" Davien only chuckled and she dug her nails into his clothes hoping to melt them. Her choice of vile words abandoned in the attempt at freedom.

"Sorry little Dove, but the clothes are demon hide. They won't melt that quick from you. Looks like you made a nice impression on my Prince-ling. So she'll be coming with me." Davien addressed Sesshomaru and Rem twisted, foiled by Davien's forethought.

"I will find you and you will regret not having let her go." Sesshomaru bared teeth like she had never seen.

"Sesshomaru! I don't want to go! Don't let him take me!" She thrashed and clawed to free herself. For reasons he could not explain he wanted not to just kill the man who held on to Rem, but to torture him with what ever means he could, but worse yet was the way her pleading reached him. His chest pulled and twisted and could feel his need to kill any who would take what was his.

"No! No! Let... GO!" Davien disappeared as if he never had been. Sesshomaru turned on his heel to prepare himself to leave.

"Jaken. Find me Ah-Un." He said nothing more and returned to his room. He pulled the sword Tenseiga from its casing. He cursed it's uselessness as a sword, but slide it into its sheath now tied to his waist. He also dawned armour and stood a moment, almost holding his breath.

"_I don't want to go!"_

"_Don't let him take me!"_

"_Sesshomaru-sama!"_

A growl rumbled and Sesshomaru glanced out the window. The sky was red as fresh blood. Jaken made the same point to himself, but noted one thing more: as he watched Sesshomaru ready for massacre and death, the sky matched perfectly with the color in his lord's eyes.


	19. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 19

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I was useless to stop it. Taken away and from my lord by the servant of scum. I didn't want to know what else Davien could do with Sesshomaru was left with nothing else but to watch me go. Nor if he could just mystically teleport by shadow and night."

"Let me go!" Rem spun and kicked within Davien's arms. She didn't care that at this very moment, she hovered thousands of feet in the air.

"Now, now little Dove. Could you imagine how angry my master would be if I returned you to him looking as you would? Although I have to admit, even you would tempt me to disobey." He held her tighter as if to spite her and she thrashed more.

"You will rot! I will make sure of it." Rem looked at Davien straight in the face as she screamed. In reply he kissed her. His retort shocked her to silence. She screamed bloody murder in her head and wiped his kiss off on her shoulder. He simply chuckled.

"Ichiou has missed you in your absence, kind lady." Davien's voiced changed to one softer. Ichiou surely had devoted servants, but this did nothing to soften her mood.

"Bring me back, Davien-temi." She insulted him, but made sure her face remained out of reach of his.

"I cannot Sweet-ling. Master's orders." Davien looked down but could not see her face.

"I will kill him. Whenever I have the chance, I will strike him down and he will bleed and scream. I will make him beg for mercy where even I cannot grant it." Her words rang dark and even Davien knew of no truer words.

"That may be so, but he asks for your audience only. Not to keep you, imprison you or anything else." She snorted her disbelief.

"Then why kidnap me from the showers?" He laughed again at his fortune.

"That, Sweet lady..." He hugged her closer to his face. "Was my own doing; what luck to catch you so... exposed. True Ichiou asked for you to come to him, but he was much too diplomatic in his requests. I know, on the other hand… that your Lord Sesshomaru would not have allowed you to leave his side; with or without your consent, my dear."

She could understand that much. He didn't seem impressed at Davien's mode of pick-up and doubted if Ichiou would thank him for it; safely as I might be brought in or not. The least Davien had allowed was her to change clothes and in privacy. His actual mode to transporting her had shocked her. He had sprout wings the shade of his hair and plucked her from the ground. No foot prints would be left any more for anyone to follow.

"What does he want with me?" She almost didn't want to know.

"That, I do not know. Privy as I am to his majesty's whims, this I am left as much in the dark as you."

"Hardly." She spat back. Their conversation ended as in the distance a grand castle rose from the earth like a spire. The ocean ended and birds resounded Davien's return home.

"Family?" She mocked him and he smiled at her need to gut him.

"Hardly." He sounded just like her and slowly he began to get lower to the ground.

"Lady Rusu. Or would you prefer Lady Rem?" His change of clothes granted him a far different look. He no longer looked like an over-dressed middle-classed man, but the son of an emperor. Ichiou stood brightly and excited with her arrival.

"Neither. Speak and return me to my home." He seemed disappointed with her response and the guards around him tensed their hands around their weapons.

"Not won't be required. You see, I have asked her here on short notice and not in the most polite of ways. Or on the most comfortable transportation; she has a reason to be angry." He spoke kindly to his men and with an equal mind about him. They respected him because he spoke like one of them and to them; Ichiou's information set them instantly at ease.

"Will you please attend to me?" She almost spat on him.

"He's asking you to join him, not serve him. Our language is slightly different." Davien filled her in quickly to avoid disaster. She was only partially thankful.

"I've asked you here to be a ploy. Not to be rude, but you are the only one I would be able to set this off with. As my father's time wanes, my rein over his lands draws near. But a King is no King without a Queen. Simply put, there is no woman I would have, side form you. And if I cannot have you then, I ask you help me. Play the part of Queen till my coronation. At that time, if you wish, I can release you of that duty. You can return with an emperor in your dept and very willing to repay. There would be nothing you'd ask that I would not get." She stopped walking and gazed at Ichiou as if he were mad.

"Did you drag me here to jest?" He had to be mad.

"N-No! Not at all." He grasped her hand to reassure her.

"I cannot do this. I am sorry for you, but I cannot." She took back her hand and gave him a sad glance. Ichiou grabbed her hand and pulled her quietly into an empty room. There the crown prince of China bent on both knees and taking her hand, rest his forehead on her hands.

"I beg you, please. Whatever I can do, anything to change your mind. Please, Rem." She was beyond uncomfortable. Whisked across and ocean to another world for all she knew or cared for a prince's request for freedom. He lifted his head confusion masked his face. He withdrew his hands and she realized not all of the toxins in her hands had been washed.

"Quickly, you'll need to rinse this soon... I'm sure that Davien has not informed you, but..." Ichiou quickly cut her off, much like Davien had.

His kiss immobilized her for long enough for him to move back again.

"I know you. I know what that you are bewitched. I don't fear you, Lady." He walked over to a bowl of water and dipped his hands then wrapped them with napkins from the table. His words moved her than any gesture he could have made.

"I don't ask for an answer now, Lady. I will give you time. May I ask, if there is actually as reason to refuse?" He waited by the door, but when no answer came he opened the door.

"This wing is yours and only yours. These rooms you can use to whatever means and should you need anything, please. Ask. My father... he will wish to meet you, but I told him you would not arrive till tomorrow morn." And he left.

"I cannot do what you ask of me, Prince." And she need not say his name to finish. She doubted she could stay long enough to follow through with Ichiou's plans, but did Sesshomaru even want to save her? Why would he? He had simply stood by and waited while Davien took off with her. He hadn't even spoken to her while she pleaded with him to save her.

Her guilt got the better of her and for the first time since her parent's death, she wept unabashed. No guardsman or maid heard her cry for every loss and every pain. Only the raven haired, silvery-eyed servant of Ichiou heard her and for all his worth, he would do her the favour of letting her keep her solitude till she finished.


	20. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 20

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"The choice lay in my hands. Something I have never had before: A choice. Such a simple thing like saying yes or no and yet, it could change my life. Whether it was for better or for worse I was not sure, but again, the option lay in my hands and imbedded in my mind as I rest only an hour away from meeting with the Emperor of a Nation; China."

"My father will love you. I'm sure of it." Rem sat with as Ichiou walked back and forth trying to ease her. The more he spoke though added to her agitation. She had not yet told Ichiou of her plans and what decision she had come to. But she did have the odd feeling that to Ichiou, that wouldn't make one wit of a difference to him. Or to Davien.

"Speak simply and without motive. He hates a woman with an agenda. Not that you have one. He likes a sweet woman, like my mother was. And..." He trailed of telling her things he thought she'd want to know and she simply ignored him. She didn't play a false part. Even for the sake of a Prince for a King.

A knock came to the door signalling the Kings arrival in the main hall. Ichiou stopped his passing and a look of contentment came over him.

"Shall we go, Lady Amaterasu?" Ichiou gave her is hand and escorted her down the hall.

"You don't seem to understand, Ichiou-san. I cannot pretend." He seemed to ignore her as much as she tried to explain; he simply carried on, a grin lifting his lips into rather happy grin.

Before her stood the grand doors of the Hall of Ceremonies, slowly they pulled away as she and Ichiou got closer. Music played in the background; flutes and other wind instruments. The hall was dawned in white and pale blue: the King sitting on his thrown. Flowers donned the windows and entrance way and a cold chill ran through her.

"Ichiou... please tell me your father has a... liking for flowers and white..." Before she could continue, the voice of the King boomed down the aisle way.

"Good evening, Ichiou and this... this must be the woman who "delights your world". He smiled down sweetly at his son and Ichiou beamed back at his father.

"Your majesty, it is my utmost pleasure to meet with you today." The King looked like he almost blushed.

"So modest and an absolute beauty, you surely did not lie about her at all." The emperor lifted from his seat and stepped down to meet them both.

"Ichiou... What have you done?" Rem turned to him, but was ignored.

"You have my blessings... The South Wing is both yours and your lady's as a gift to his son." Then turning a glee-filled smile to her. "And my new daughter." He clapped hands together and servants echoed in from invisible doorways

.

"You have the help of the servants and may have whatever is needed for your union. You can pick the most expensive material for your gown though it will never the less, be unmatched by your face." The king began to leave and Rem's anger raged. She turned to Ichiou, but before a word could leave her lips her gut exploded into fire.

"It seems my bride is in shock for you hospitality father." She slumped forward breathless. Ichiou's fist found the mark when he hit her for silence. All she could do was gasp and her knees gave way.

The king chuckled. "Take care of her, son." And he left, her rage and refusal temporarily abated.

"Davien. Take her to our new rooms." Davien stepped out from behind the shadows, darkness in his eyes." He glanced down at me and his pity enraged me more. For all it was worth and loosed the pin from my hair and then stabbed it into Ichiou's foot.

"You will pay, 'husband'." She would have him scream mercy when she finished with him.

"Not yet. There is still to be a ceremony and witnesses." Davien corrected her and the slightest glimmer of hope from; hard and calculating, she had already begun to forge a plan of escape. Her breath shot out as Davien carefully lifted her to her feet to take her out.

"Wait." Ichiou stood and limped over to her and raised his hand. It fell like a tonne of stone on her face when it made contact.

"Ichiou... You wouldn't mare her face before her day would you?" Davien's voice was as thick and cold as ice.

"No... But there are places that a wedding ceremony will not see..." Ichiou's face contorted in ways she could not imagine. For a moment she feared that her poison induced visions were plaguing her as they did once before. She was living again as someone tortured and beaten.

"I take me leave. You will return later?" Davien inquired and Ichiou leaned forward.

"I don't know for sure, so make sure she stays in her room and do not do anything... that may get you into trouble." Davien nodded and left, Rem followed with his aid while she held her face.

"For this I am truly sorry." Davien closed the door and locked it with a key so no one could enter.

"What have you done?" She leaned over a table and picked up a vase tightly in her hand.

"By pure luck... or better yet misfortune, you have found yourself in the hands of a mad-prince. I, his servant, have only to obey his every notion and whim." He chuckled half heartedly to himself and sat in a chair by the door.

"What is wrong with that man? That monster?" Davien looked at the ground and answered her slowly.

"Would you forgive me my crimes if I told you?" He asked her honestly and she answered just as well.

"Yes, but do you need forgiveness?" His eyes were freshly forged silver and they burned.

"More than you would think." He waited and began, slowly and in terrifying remembrance.

"_I will tell you. You at least deserve to know the life you are now tied to forever. That prince whom you engaged yourself to is a monster. Born and remade in hell's image. I would know, before you doubt. I am his half-brother after all... I am the bastard son of the late queen. The reason she doesn't reside in the castle is for her adultery, which here is considered high-treason against the crown. Along with my brother, the King, in a rage, executed my mother before us. I would have been killed along side, but by half-brother interceded. I live because of him and now I must live for him._

_After years of being his person servant and having been stripped of all honours an incident happened. Both Ichiou and I were playing on the roof tops avoiding the royal advisors when Ichiou slipped and fell. I followed, but was saved. Another curse my mother gave me with her blood was her demon abilities, latent until then. I'm sure you noticed..." _As if for show Davien unfurled his avian wings, black as a ravens and settled them again.

"_I was saved when by my older half-brother and only because of that did Ichiou's screams to kill himself was I allowed to live again. After all the royal blood must be kept to prosper. Years I lived without further disgrace away from the royal court until and I met a woman who cared not about my demon blood. Rather she loved it, but something in Ichiou angered him and slowly, he made her his. I wished her happiness like she had given me and then Ichiou said that he got rid of her. It saddened me, but it wasn't enough for him. So when I went to hunt with the king's guard I was horror struck when I returned to the horse stable and found my love, hanging by her neck. I thought it an accident and went to cut her down when Ichiou came out as I sliced the last cord. "She really loved you, Davien. Even when I told her you would die if she returned to you. So here she is, hanging just for you." He had thrown a letter to me after and I wept having read it. It said how Ichiou forced her to stay away from me and that my life was the stake she paid for her survival. When she planned to tell me, hoping I would run with her, Ichiou had her killed..."_

"_I left the court to get away from him, gain ties as it seemed from other nations and peoples for the sake of our house." Suddenly his vice changed into an even darker one. "I will tell you a secret... and I wonder if you can keep your promise after... In my travels from land to land, I found myself in service to a Lord who had survived a most tragic event..." _Rem's blood froze in her veins for reason she didn't yet understand._ "A celebration had been held and a healer was needed after its events. Many men and woman had died from a mass poisoning and the culprits had all died in his rage. Save one, left for torture_." Tears she could not control streamed down her face and she squeezed the vase in her hands. Davien continued._ "I was requested to give the only remaining child from the traitors a poison to kill her, slowly and painfully. So, after a few days or research I concocted a vile and fed it to the girl and although she was already weak from poisonings before, the girl recovered instead of dying." _Davien blocked the vase that she lobbed at his head, the glass littered the floor and she threw herself at him, clawing and gnashing whatever she could get at, but never once did he fight back or even protect himself. Instead he waited and endured attack after attack until sobbing, she clutched his shirt as she wept on the floor.

"You! You did this to me! You destroyed my life! Why? You ruined my life and returned to finish? Did you come to feed me a poison that would finally kill me? Then do it!" She shook and her hands lowered to her face which was red and streaked with tears.

"Rem." He lifted her up and held her hands from striking at him. He wore the saddest look she had ever seen. Even compared to her mother before her death. "Little dove..."

"Don't you dare..." Her voice was low and deadly. "Leave me alone. You are no better than Ichiou and I do not forgive you. Never." He let her go, but stayed long enough to shatter the remained of her world.

"Little Dove. Never once did I feed you poison." She scoffed, but he continued. "I ask forgiveness not for the poison I did not give, but for the antidote which allowed you to live and survive years of torment." She raised her face to him and knew, which out a doubt that he told her the truth. Even a simple death had been taken from her.

"If there is anything you desire, even if it is my life. I will do it. I owe you my life in earnest where Ichiou does not. I did what I did because I saw me inside of you. Abused and hated for things, you had never done or condoned. For your torment, I offer you whatever you want. Just ask it of me." He waited while the gears in her head turned at high speed. And then it hit her. Than only thing she needed.

"I know what you can do. I do not want your life. Because in leaving me to a horrid fate, you left open the doors to a much greater one, hopefully. This is what you will do." She sat in a chair and pushed another one out, motioning for him to sit. "This, this is all I ask..."


	21. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 21

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I had been tricked. The chance for death had been taken from me long before I had even known it. Davien, a man running from his own demons had inadvertently become mine. He was asked. "Make a poison, one that kills slowly and painfully. Make her wish for death." In one sense he had done exactly as asked. And I thanked the Gods for the chance which lead me to 'him'."

She sat in the chair, Davien across from her waiting. Rem scribed whatever she wished to convey to Master Jaken and to her Lord, Sesshomaru. It was amazing, she thought, how much she missed them when they were no longer with her. The pain it caused was enough to wound armies.

"I'm finished. What I need of you is this. Give this to Sesshomaru, but in a way that will not risk your life." Davien wished that the girl that he had indirectly tormented would yell and scream. Not pity him. That in her position she felt his pains worse off only pained him. Perhaps that was what she wanted. He doubted he would ever know.

"That is all?" He almost smacked himself for asking.

"No. I have one other thing. If you can do it, I am not sure, but I wish you will try... I want you to flee. Leave your half-brother and his torments and lastly to find a place that makes you happy and there you have to promise, if you can make it that far. To forgive you're self." And she stood to leave. Davien had noticed the pull of complete exhaustion before she had and stood to catch her as the fell.

"Little Lady. Sweat Lady... Forbidden Lady." He pulled the slight frame of Rem into his. The small part of his heart that he set aside at his true loves death, broke free and allowed himself, for this first time to morn her. "Thank you." And he set a small kiss on her forehead.

"Sessh...omaru..." Davien chuckled as she thought of only him. The demon without a heart, if not only for her. It was amusing how neither of them even though once about what truly lay between them. Davien saw it as clear as night and day. He had experienced it once before after all.

"You would take a beating and death before betraying the man you love... So admirable." And he ignored the agitation that grew when he looked at the bruise on her face. The one she received for nothing by his half-brother. He took a seat and would wait however long it would take before Sesshomaru would arrive. Oh, yes, he knew without a doubt the love struck demon would find his way here. If not, he would take her away himself.

.

"Too soon." He muttered as the image of Sesshomaru formed next to Rem's bed side. Even from here he could already tell, call it demons intuition, that Sesshomaru was holding back the urge to destroy everything. The line between love and chaos were very close to one another.

"Where is 'he'." Sesshomaru turned gleaming eyes of molten red towards Davien.

"I knew you would come. I told her you would. She didn't believe me though."

"I have come to pay your debt." Sesshomaru's aura was stifling. Davien sat up uncrossing his arms and pointed almost absently at the letter Rem had written for Sesshomaru. Although Davien had not read the letter written he could gather much of what it would say. There was silence which Davien would not break. He watched as the demon lord of the West crunched the letter in his hands which smouldered and erupted into flames after reading the last of its contents.

"I will return to your prince and take his life where he has taken hers." It was interesting to watch a demon so lost in the moment. Especially one as renounced as Sesshomaru. The room had lost meaning and no one existed except Sesshomaru and the lovely dove, Rem.

"She is sleeping." Davien's words fell on deaf ears, but he smiled. Sesshomaru lifted her into his arms. She was so small, much like a child to him. He left a kiss as soft as the one she'd first given him.

"...?" Davien chuckled and Sesshomaru turned his most hate filled stare

"You must not have heard me my lord. I said she was only resting. Did you not feel that she was still warm?" Sesshomaru turned his face away. He had noticed her warmth, but only after having kissed her.

"I suggest you leave and now. Ichiou may be an easy match for you, but he plays with an evil streak. I would know." Davien uncrossed his arms and with a glance to Rem and voiced his most personal opinion. "Take care of her. If not, I will not hesitate to take her from you." And he told no lie. If for even one moment he heard of Rem being treated other than perfect, he would take her and make her his own.

Sesshomaru cursed and even after told to leave, he waited. Absorbing the odd moment where time stood still. _'Have you cursed me?'_ A stupid question to ask a human let alone one sleeping.

"Sess...homaru..." The little body of warmth in his arms shifted and settled again against his chest. It made him feel as if he could take on the entire army of the Chinese empire. With drawing from that invincible feeling he shifted time and space and took Rem to Ah-Un and Jaken who still waited over the sea's waters.

.

"Rem." Jaken leapt from his seat with pure excitement. Sesshomaru would have found it amusing if he knew how to react to such.

"Return us to the Estate Ah-Un." Sesshomaru sat down and pulled Rem into the place in his arm. The feeling of euphoria taking over again, but the small tug of embarrassment returned.

"I don't want to get her if she falls." He ignored Jaken's surprise and covered her body with his cloak, protecting her from the high winds and cold elements.

Deep in sleep, unaware of any thing changing, Rem slept peacefully. Only the small tugs of a chill bothered her, but there was also warmth. She moved in closer to that warmth and curled into it. And when gentle hands caressed her face she sighed in its pleasure. She almost didn't want to wake up from this dream.


	22. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 22

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

Tenseiga was not Sesshomaru's only weapon. Claws and teeth, and a number of demon abilities granted by blood to a son, of two great dog-demons. Poison being one of them and Sesshomaru could feel them under his skin, growing in toxicity. He would be ready when the time came to annihilate any that stood in his way.

"_Jaken, Find me Ah-Un._" That had been all he said until hours later when Jaken could stand no more of my silence and brooding.

"M-My Lord. What do you intend to do?" He glared at the little toad, twiddling clothe and saddle in his hands in agitation. Or was it fear? Never the less, Sesshomaru remained quiet. He knew he was going to retrieve what he felt his, but knew not how to convey the message. Every time he tried to think of how to say it, the words sounded... muddled. Even as that frustration ate at him another one would start.

His fingers dug in to his palms and he fought the need to destroy something, anything. The impulse was raging in his very blood and knew that Jaken could feel it too, as well an Ah-Un.

"We are not far. I don't expect the Emperor understands just what his son and heir is doing. Especially by entering my house and taking what is m..." His voice trailed off. Words that did not match the situation.

Like when Rem's lips touched his cheek.

The growl in his throat was low and only intensified with the view of the mainland in sight. Not far from here, Rem waited. It was then, that a single thought trailed in a flurry of others that would send well trained thought, into chaos.

_What condition would she be in?_

_What would they do to her?_

_Was she hurt... or worse?_

That was all that was needed to break the bonds of logical thought.

"Jaken. I am going ahead." And he was gone before Jaken could protest, but even though he spoke ill of the human girl and hated having to buy food for her to consume, he missed the child and missed the air she gave his estate. Even, if he could only say it in his mind and to himself.

How she made him content.

.

He could smell her; the sweet smell that no matter what followed her. Like the flowers which littered his mother's home when he was young. Now he sifted the smell to find where it was coming from. She had been in few places in this large mass of buildings strung together. It was then, when he could go no further with scent that she saw her.

Through a window was Rem, laying in the arms of the man who had taken her. He carried her over to a bed in the next room and set her there, seemingly asleep. In the window he could see clearly that something was amiss. Something was wrong and as Rem's restful head dropped, he saw the bruise with had formed only hours before. The blood which had been at a steady heat had finally and irrevocable boiled over.

"Bastard." In an instant he re-formed into the room which Rem slept.

"I knew you'd come. I told her you would. She didn't believe me though." Davien sat with his hands folding in front of him as if death had told him, he would not die today.

"I have come to pay your debt." Sesshomaru drew closer to Davien and with a hand gesture, he pointed to a table top. On its surface rested paper inked in a fancy, female handwriting.

.

_ My Lord Sesshomaru. _

_ The events which have taken place are dire and I know not, if I am worth saving. I have gained important information here that makes me almost glad to have come. But that is as far at that goes. It has become apparent that at his master's order and order only that I was kidnapped for the Mad Prince, Ichiou as bride. He is insane and wishes for only death and pain and to torture others better than he. Should you not come for me, I have made the plan to take my life into my own hands. I will not be this mad man's toy or play thing and I will beg the goddess forgiveness. I don't know why I, but given past experience and other such things, I want you to find me and take me away. Take me back. I do not lay blame on you, not that I think it matters. _

_Also, please do not kill Davien. My message he brings as an act of good faith for me. His reasons I will leave private. But if I may be so bold, I ask you to free him from Ichiou. Though half blood and brothers with the prince, I would no longer leave a plant in his care than Davien. So, please. Save him. _

_And for my own sake. For my own selfishness and weakness. I thank you. You have been ever so kind to a woman with no place in this world. Not with men of with demons. You and Jaken have been more to me than any one and needless to say, I have loved you._

_Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama. Please give my regards to Master Jaken. For me._

There was silence which Davien would not break. He watched as the demon lord of the West crunched the letter in his hands which smouldered and erupted into flames.

"I will return to your prince and take his life where he has taken hers." Sesshomaru walked as if in a dream. His feet made no sound and his heart raced where he could not hear anything. He could only see and the lack of sensory distorted him. Only vaguely did he hear voices. He would say nothing to her as she laid arms slackened and lifeless his chest retched in pain. Then as if still in his dream, where nothing he could do wrong, he reached for her head and lifted her up into his arms. Today, he would return her to his estate, but while here, he would do what he wanted without censor.

In his arms, head against his chest he watched the lips which drove him into fits of mindless thought and as if nothing mattered he kissed her. Then it hit him. Not only had he kissed a human, he had kissed Rem.

Davien chuckled and Sesshomaru turned his most hate filled stare

"You must not have heard me my lord. I said she was exhausted. Did you not feel that she was still warm?" Sesshomaru turned his face away. He had noticed her warmth, but only after having kissed her. "I guess you did. I suggest you leave and now. Ichiou may be an easy match for you, but he plays with an evil streak. I would know." Davien uncrossed his arms and with a glance to Rem and voiced his most personal opinion. "Take care of her. If not, I will not hesitate to take her from you." Which he turned and left without another word; he would endure Ichiou's censor for her sake.

He should have noticed. She was not a dead weight, she was warm and he could even hear her slight breath. He cursed, but even though he knew he should leave he waited. _Have you cursed me?_ A stupid question to ask a human let alone one sleeping.

"Sess...homaru..." Lightly she turned in his arms and nudged her face into his chest. Such an odd gesture that he nearly let go of her. It wasn't a bad feeling anyways. He was at ease with her warmth. Then while his mind kept to things at hand, he remove the fabric that was flesh and transported her to Ah-Un as light.

.

"Rem!" Jaken almost jumped off Ah-Un with his excitement which Sesshomaru watched with interest. Where losing Rem had made his chest tight and painful, having her back and watching Jaken made his chest light and he almost wanted to laugh.

"Return us to the Estate Ah-Un." Sesshomaru sat down and ignoring the need to and pull to hide his next action he sat on Ah-Un and rested Rem into his lap. Then to dignify himself he turned to Jaken.

"I don't want to get her if she falls." And the look Sesshomaru received almost wanted him to laugh more, but he didn't.

While Sesshomaru pushed hair tendrils from Rem's face Jaken gawked from behind and then a gentle smile took over his face. "_You'll make it. Soon..."_And he tightened ropes to give the sense of privacy.

Miles below and to the East the Crown Prince of China tossed any object with in hands reach while the King, having received an anonymous letter about Rem's non-royal birth, scolded his son which left his half-brother Davien time to do whatever he wanted with no repercussions.


	23. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 23

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"The sensation of being in the light and warmth was the closest to peace I had ever felt and so long as I wished to stay, I would. Not to enter the world and find myself at the mercy of a Mad Prince again. There was only a hand full of things which I cherished beyond even my life and only went my life was stripped from me did I realize those few things; freedom, family, choice and the most painful to have lost, love."

Jaken scurried from room to room making sure both of his priorities were cared for. Even for a demon, traveling the distance that oceans make, was difficult.

"My lord, I'm sure she is fine. She simply needs to rest as do you. Just some sleep." Sesshomaru tore thru the estate, his rage emitting an aura so strong it shattered all the windows on the second floor.

"I do not need sleep." What Sesshomaru failed to say out loud was not lost to his servant. Since returning days ago to the estate in the West lands of Japan, Rem had stayed is stasis of slumber. The human's Jaken had witnessed in his time as a lesser demon lord had proved many truths about their needs. Food was a constant as was sleep, but a human to his knowledge could not sleep so long, unless mortally ill. Information Jaken need not tell his master for him to know.

The only thing which saved Jaken's mind was that his master could be maneuvered with simple statements and although Jaken despised himself for twisting his Lord, it was all he could do from going insane.

"What would I tell her if she woke and found you not here?" The words seeped into Sesshomaru with clear effects. Sesshomaru's mood instantly grew worse, but manageable all the same. As Sesshomaru drew the breath needed to calm his self, the sound of something falling on the floor above called his immediate attention. Jaken's silent voice foretold his lord's only thought.

.

Rem had awoken.

.

On the stairs which spiralled down to all three floors lay the crumbled form he knew well. Lean limbs folded under her body, her hands reaching for the railing to support her. In one moment Sesshomaru had closed the space between them and took her hand, helping her up.

"Rem." The name was almost as surreal as the slow motion which time now flowed. Her face looked up to him and confusion clouded her features. She tried to withdraw her hand from him, but he gripped her too tightly.

"Let go of me." Her voice was cold in ways it had never been before and empty. Sesshomaru's surprise allowed her the chance to pull her hand back.

"Do not speak to me as such." His frustration roared inside. Had she no thanks for saving her? For bringing her back? As she had asked? Had he not done everything, just for her?

"Then do not presume to hang on to me like that." For a moment he wanted to hit her. The way she spoke like he had been nothing to him. The lack of faith and passion which she normal spoke was gone as well.

"Do you... know where you are?" His voice almost trembled, as if he could almost be afraid of the answer. The way she glanced around was answer enough.

"Rem? Do you remember who you are?" Jaken's voice echoed up the stairs, dark and ominous. Again the cloud shrouded her face and she lowered her head into her hands. After a moment she shook her head.

"I see." Sesshomaru stood, his mind closed and Jaken could not read him. Even in the slightest. Rem shifted and set her hands on the ground to get up, but after days of inactivity her body moved as if in molasses. The pathetic attempts made him want to force his help on her, but she made it clear that she would only take help when it was wanted.

"Take my hand." He lowered his hand and she took it after a moment. "Jaken, prepare something for her. She will eat." He released her hand and she stepped up to him.

"Wait... Answer my question. Who and where am I?" She grabbed for the railing, but Sesshomaru held her up instead. "And who are you? Both of you?" She looked at him and it dawned on him; a human could never act a lie as well as she was performing.

"I will explain then." Rem's voice caught in her throat as Sesshomaru lifted her and made for which was temporarily both of their rooms. As he set her down and the chest ache which had taken residence in her absence, returned with a vengeance.

"Please. I need some answers." But just as Sesshomaru made to tell her about herself, he paused. For a moment, the truth which he felt so important to explain turned dull and bitter in his mouth like he gnawed on a hunk of coal.

"You are a demon. Part demon... Your mother was a fox, your father a human. They are both dead. Jaken is your closest advisor and... Companion." The tale he spun for her was perfect. He had explained everything, apart from the most important one; the part about himself.

"Advisor? For what? And what of you?" The breath in his lungs stopped and he could think of no reply. He simply stared into her face as if all the worlds' secrets could be found therein.

"I am your personal advisor. I was your parents before you and now I serve both of you." Jaken covered his own mouth with his hand after he set a tray of food before her. He did not look at Sesshomaru nor did Sesshomaru look to him. Their conversation was silent and between only them. _Rem will know of nothing._

"For both of us..." Jaken coughed and tripped over his own feet. "Y-yes." And in a moment of pure evil, Jaken made a statement which in hindsight might result in a painful death; His.

"Well you see, this noble demon lord, is you're master and betrothed." Jaken risked a glance at Sesshomaru and looked away. Sesshomaru was shocked beyond anything Jaken would ever see again, but that was not what made Jaken take a second glance and almost think he had died and saw a phantom sight. Sesshomaru looked down at the ground, his hands clenched into tight balls, but his face told everything that his body refused to. Face the color of midnight-rose and eyes as vacant as a lost child. His blush made his servant color as well. Jaken didn't quite expect this level of response.

"I see... My lord Sesshomaru?" Thought flicked back into his eyes and he turned a heated and flushed face to his newly announced fiancé. "Please take care of me. I hope you will be able to put up with me and all of my lacking." Rem rose from her chair and with unsteady legs, she bowed. In Sesshomaru's eyes he saw the truest form of elegance and grace. This only made him grow warmer.

"Yes." He shuddered and Rem crumbled to the ground, exhaustion taking its toll again.

That day held a large array of firsts for the Lord of the West. From stumbling uselessly over words to the one which made him pace by Rem's bed for hours while she slept. He had been informally engaged and to a human of all things, but he surprised himself when he thought back to himself. _Does it really bother you?_

His answering being _No._


	24. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 24

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"It was warm as much as it was dark. Deep inside my consciousness I had removed myself from life. There I would remain until I could make my way through dealing with my problems. Being hated, mutated and cursed. Tormented by everyone I knew and loathed by those I did not. I would stay here, for all eternity, if I had to."

"Master Jaken. My I have some of your time?" Jaken noted the changes in personality. He wondered if this would have been what Rem really would be like, if fate hadn't gone as it had for her. Sweet, but reserved was expected. What did he want from a woman who remembered little to nothing of her life, true or false?

"Of course." The only thing that bothered him is that Sesshomaru called him 'Rem's' companion and he hated being spoken to from a human like an equal. It was ok if it was Rem... but to him, this woman was not Rem.

"How long... have I been like this?" She sat and folded her loose skirt hem on her lap. Rem never cared about how she looked.

"For about a week. You had been outside enjoying the peace and quiet near the lake. You fell in and being it so late in the cooling season... the water caused this damage."

Sesshomaru walked in as Jaken wove his story for her. Rem laughed in earnest, her whole face lighting up in ways neither Sesshomaru nor Jaken had ever seen.

"It is good to know, but I was referring more towards... my engagement... to Sesshomaru-sama." For all the subtle little changes and as many as they were, some things had not changed. The reverence for her lord never wavered and this made Jaken as happy as he needed to be.

"What would you like to know?" Rem turned in her chair and bowed to his greeting rather clumsily. The manners Rem had learned while in service to the south were evident. It was easy for her to play the part of a noble having the knowledge of it. Somehow it was unsettling.

"You said my parents or gone. What of yours? Have we been approved of as a good match, have we been blessed? Have we...?" She paused and stopped. Her questions getting farther ahead than mind could handle.

"My mother remains. My father has passed." He ignored telling her of his half-brother and he was half in more than one way. He was a half human like he had told her. Would that information help her in accustoming to her knew place? He waited too long on whether to tell her about InuYasha and Rem spoke again.

"Then we have been blessed?" He did not answer. Wasn't sure what he could say. He didn't want to lie... not that it had stopped him before. "We are not approved, but you let me stay here and continue this, relation, as if it doesn't bother you?" Her voice grew quiet but never the less frantic.

"Would not having such a blessing change the facts? Of what you two share?" Jaken made his statement as he left the room, thus avoiding Sesshomaru's censor. The giddiness in Jaken made this a most amusing past time and enjoyed it when he could.

"Of course it would not. I just, I have not heard of many men in power that do not think only to further their hand. It is... strange to think that a lord such as you are; different and yet... it fits." She made her way past Sesshomaru and from behind she wrapped her hands about his waist.

Sesshomaru nearly choked on his breath. She felt like a stranger.

"I'm sorry. It is just... I cannot imagine doing this while you watch. Please forgive me. You must care very much for me to care for me so well and I cannot even remember it."

Sesshomaru stood still, as if the smallest movement could bring down his estate down on them both. "Thank you." She whispered it quietly and pressed her lips against his back before letting go and leaving.

.

Without paying much mind to anything else, he closed the door to the room and locked it. Something he had never felt necessary before seemed of the utmost importance now. With ease born of independence since birth, Sesshomaru removed the shirt and hung it in the closest. It swung back and forth in its hook and he stopped it, then ran his finger down the back of the shirt. He stopped where she had kissed him. He felt the heat rise in his face and he closed the door slowly. He was not happy at all. When he thought of the kiss just moments before, it was not of this Rem, but of the one lost.

"My Lord... We have a rather interesting visitor." Jaken spoke from the other side of the door after finding it locked. Sesshomaru pulled another shirt on and opened the door. Before Jaken could explain he knew very well who had entered his home.

"I will go deal with this." The voice made Sesshomaru's hand clench and he made his footsteps as normal if possible. Inside he wanted to run down them and explode.

"Ah, my lord. It is good to see you." From the door way Davien knelt before Rem, his hands holding hers as he placed a gentle kiss of greeting on them. "And always a pleasure to see you again, Kind Lady." Rem smiled again which angered Sesshomaru. That smile, which nothing was wrong and she was happy, was a smile he wanted only for his self. In the back of his mind he noted his possessiveness of the woman, but did nothing more about it. In his head he finally allowed himself to say it. _This is not Rem. _It didn't stop him from wanting to protect her though.

"A word after my long travels?" Davien kept his eyes on Sesshomaru and conveyed in a way only demons knew of, a matter of the essence.

"This way. Rem, you do as you wish. I have something for you later a well. Please be patient while I am dealing with _this_." And he walked past the hall and opened a door; Davien closed the door after both had entered leaving Rem with Jaken.

"You first. What is wrong with her? What have you done?" Davien was livid. He knew as much as anyone; that she was not normal.

"After taking her from your _care_ she lost her memory... So I now ask you, what did _you_ do to her?" Davien's complexion grew pale and his hand covered his mouth in mild disbelief.

"I assure you no harm came to her, well... only a little, but not of my hands. I wouldn't do that, not after all that." In this statement both men meant and interpreted two different things. Sesshomaru assumed Davien spoke about his kidnapping Rem and Davien expected Rem told Sesshomaru about his dabbling with a certain antidote.

"What did he do?" Sesshomaru could feel the rage boiling in his stomach. He wanted to break the little human prince that had dare to even meddle in his affairs.

"He struck her... after he announced his engagement with her to him. They had even been blessed by the emperor." The arm of the chair splintered in Sesshomaru's deathly grip. The poison which Sesshomaru had was not as lethal as Rem's but still managed to melt the fabric of the chair.

"I was not aware of this." Davien could tell as much. Sesshomaru would have taken Ichiou's head if he'd known what had actually happened. Rem had been kind in omitting the information from her letter.

"No one knew about it before hand. Not even I, but he must have been planning it for a while. He is... intelligent and has a high level of patients. I ask you now; do you have any reason to have Ichiou's hate on you? Because he will not stop till he gets want he wants. He will not rest and will use the powers of his father to achieve anything he desires... To put it plainly, Ichiou's wants Rem returned and has sent me formally for that reason, but I do not plan to return. I have... abdicated my service towards my brother. I ask for one reason and I will explain it in perfect clarity for you, because of what I have done... Ichiou will not rest, he will come for her and when he does he will not let her got. And when bored of his game, he will toss her a side and forget her in some lonely place to die. His purpose in life is to make those happier than him feel pain and for that reason alone he will torment you. I once saw him package fingers to a man's lover just so he could hear her scream and she had been strong."

He waited and Sesshomaru paled.

"I did not know he was your brother." Davien found it hard to believe.

"Half, I'm sure you would know what that is like?" Davien's smile was not a smile at all. Just a way of hiding pain. "And I was not aware that you also were engaged to Rem. It explains things."

"Not so much as you think." Sesshomaru explained the new memories which he and Jaken were feeding her.

"Nice little mess you've made up, but what will happen I wonder, if she gets her memories back. Will she remember everything completely or will she just continue living from where she stopped off, completely unaware of the things you are doing for her right now."

Sesshomaru growled.

"I see the family resemblance, you are more like your brother than you think...Wait, and I ask a favour. I wish to stay. I can help when it comes to dealing and outwitting my brother. That's if you care for her safety..."

"I do not need your help." Never the less Sesshomaru agreed to allow Davien to stay in the estate, but only as a servant and while Sesshomaru went to have time to ponder, Davien sat in the conference hall.

"I am sorry brother, but this will be the last time you twist fate to your whims. This family has had far too much of that over the years... I only hope it is before he manages to destroy her. It would be a loss... but so many things seem to go against Rem's will to live..." Davien looked out the window and sighed. He felt the years weighing on him more and more. "I don't believe I will live to fix all the errs I have made..." He chuckled then and removed himself from the room.


	25. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 25

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"It was in the distant parts of my mind that I retreated too when life seemed too harsh and so cold. I was without my family and without my lord and little master. I fought with the stress of living and the tormented thoughts of death. For now... neither option seemed to please me and so... I waited."

It was late in the day when Rem made her way to her room. She had been bathing for a while and the steam had made her dizzy and dreamy. She had the unreasonable feeling get out and so she did.

"Are you alright Lady?" From the second floor stair's Davien called up to her. He was rather solicitous sounding...

"Ah yes. I am fine. I just need some air." Rem gave a wiry smile and leaned on the railing of the third floor stairs. _No, not really._ She spoke inwardly despite her outspoken answer.

"Well, if you need anything, I will be more than happy to help you. Just ask." She nodded then paused... She was always aware when Sesshomaru stood behind her; it was a feeling that coursed through her whole body.

"My Lord..." She turned and gave him her best smile. She found it amusing to watch him, but lately he almost seemed at odds with himself. He made her uncomfortable.

"You've keen eyes." His statements were always blunt and straight to the point.

"Does not a demon have enough sense to feel your presence?" She laughed and Sesshomaru eased his tense shoulders. "Are you worried? You are ever at my side. I know well enough that I cannot recall any thing, but... I trust you... I also have a favour to ask." Rem waved good bye to Davien on the lower floor and stepped in line with Sesshomaru.

"What is it you need?" She had never asked a favour of him before. Perhaps before she felt he had done enough in leaving her to humans and simply giving her a safe haven. _Was it a sense of debt that made her do the things she had done?_

"I feel... an ominous cloud. I cannot sleep at night and dream of terrible things. Fire and smoke and ash; oceans that do not end and a black sky. Then blood. Who's...? I do not know. I want you to teach me to fight. To protect myself. I feel that if I can protect this body I may fend off these dreams." He had noticed her fatigue over recent days, that he was in arms reach of her room at night and to know she was being tormented even in sleep ushered in a severe sense of foreboding.

"I can protect you." She managed to give a weak smile and he took her hand. _This isn't right. This does not feel like love, but... I feel something for him...but. It is like we are playing a game and that in the morning it will not have happened or not have been real..._

"And what if I do not wish to bother you with forever watching my person? Having always to wonder if I am safe... I ask only that you teach me something basic, that even a woman can do. A demon can do. Else I fear I will have to ask someone I think more likely to help, but not as well as you." The name left unsaid rippled and echoed in his mind. _Davien_. He was almost regretting telling her she was half demon.

"As you wish. We will start tomorrow in the afternoon." She had the answer she wanted, but still she held his hand. _This is love right? _

"Do you sleep Sesshomaru-sama? You do not rest in any room. I know because I can smell where you often stow yourself away."

"I do not stow away anywhere." He frowned at her then. True he did not enter many rooms in the estate, but he did not hide himself among the rooms he did frequent.

"And sleep? Do you not need rest being a complete demon?" He wondered in some small part of his mind if she was afraid to sleep alone. _You are not Rem._

"I do, but not often." He wanted to say demons did not need rest, but the lie seemed pointless.

"And where do you rest then?" He took a step down the hall at the third floor and she followed, still grasping his hand. _This is not right._

"You ask too many questions." He was growing more irritated with such questions. How could he sleep when she had his bed?

"And you answer them not enough." She withdrew her hand and glared a moment at him.

"Not enough? What more would you have me say?" His voice rose as the conversation escalated.

"Something... more. Other than what is exactly needed. Do you not speak of mundane things? Do you not talk for pleasure?" His calm state was quickly fading away the more she spoke. He found it odd that the woman before him was both different and yet the same, but her lost memory was the one which pained him... yet comforted him. He did not know what to think anymore. _For a moment, just one she had sounded like she had once before._

"Pleasure? You are a woman; I need not speak with you unless I choose to." Her eyes widened and she turned on her heels down the hall.

"So be it, you childish, petty demon..." As soon as the words left her mouth her hands flew to her head and she crumbled to the ground. Before he could even reach her Jaken had scurried down the other end as fast as he could. Rem wretched and screamed as if burning and then suddenly stopped.

"Rem?" Sesshomaru gave his hand to help her up, but she smacked it away. Her chest heaved as if she had run miles without rest.

"Don't..." Slowly she forced herself up on her own and pushed past Jaken without another word and slammed the door to her room. _I am breaking inside._

"What happened, my lord?" But Sesshomaru did not answer and followed after her.

.

A hand rapped on the outside of her bedroom door.

"What do you want, my lord?" She did not want to see him any more today. _It hurts..._

"A word." He forced himself to give her a better answer. "I would like to speak with you."

"...Come in." A memory flashed before her in pieces she could not place. An opened door and a feeling of desperation. She groaned and set her palm over her left eye and breathed deeply.

"Do you not feel well?" He closed the door and she sat on the bed clutching her head still.

"I think... memories are trying to return. When I said you could enter, the words bounced around my head, so many times and I saw something."

"What did you see?" Perhaps her memories were returning. He could only hope, for as much as Rem now was kind and polite, it missed something dire from the previous one. _She is the same and yet... she is not the Rem I... that she was before._

"Only a door. One of these, from the estate." A small thought, invisible to everyone on the planet hid beneath his face.

"It may be that certain things you do might awaken memories lost." He paused then turned to a stand in the corner where he removed the clothes she owned before staying with him. "These are yours." She picked them up in her hands and visions, too many to tell what they really were, unfolded in her mind.

Rem's body twisted, her arm retched around while a scream tore from clenched lips; pillows fell to the floor.

"Rem." Sesshomaru watched not knowing what to do. If she stayed like this she was going to get hurt. But if she didn't get her rightful memories back it would be worse.

So he pinned her shoulders down onto the bed.

Her back arched up and her face contorted with pain. Her screams could be heard from every floor. "Wake up." He called to her but she only thrashed, as well as possible while being restrained. Her next words chilled him. Her words were a thing of the past that had nothing to do with him and was nothing he could cure or aid her.

"Ka-san!... STOP!...!" He knew she was dreaming, but her frenzied scream broke him apart to hear. He could tell what haunted her sleep and he pitied her; for that was all he could do. Tears washed down her face, but her radical jerks never stopped. Sesshomaru released her shoulders and pulled her to him as best as he could. _She is there. Inside ,hidden somewhere... but she is still there._

" The blood!... Stop them... Ka-san!" Her voice reached heights of hysteria and she clawed at his arms and any other part of him she could reach. He could only image how her dreams were warping her memories.

"Rem..." He held her tighter and ignored the burn of her poison which seeped from her hands and onto his skin. He had immunity, but she was walking death and even he could not with stand it outright without pain. "Please." The word made an impact on her for a moment and it was long enough to try something he otherwise would never have done of his own accord.

In the few seconds of stillness he bent his head and kissed her. She did not wake but she return to her sleep induced torment either. When he pulled away her breath was shaky and her heart raced like an animals.

"Sesshomaru... sama."

"What the hell is going on in there? Open the damn door!" Davien beat the door until Sesshomaru answered.

"She needs rest. I will explain later." A thought had begun to eat away at him since she stopped her spasm_. If she doesn't get her memory back soon, she will not survive like this; no-one can protect her from dreams_. "I will be here for a while, do not disturb me."

Davien did not leave.

"Have you thought of maybe using a spirit channeler. If Rem's soul is split, a channeler might be able to call it back to her body, returning her memory in the process." The idea had merit.

"Go and find one, if you can." He closed the door behind him and picked up a water flask from the bed side. He soaked a cloth and washed her face, removing the beads perspiration and tears which stained her porcelain face.

"Why do you have no memory?" He asked himself. Rem's sleeping body answered.

"I'm... afraid." Sesshomaru nearly dropped the cloth, but retained his control and asked another question.

"Of what?" He bent over so he could hear even the slight word.

"...Y-you." Her breathing was shallow and he settled himself next to her. As odd feeling as it was, sleep tugged at his senses and he would allow himself to rest there next to her, but only for a moment.

"Why?" She did not answer. "Why?" Nothing.

Rem did wake the next day, but Sesshomaru had long since woken and left. He had rested for the remainder of the night and well into the morning when Jaken called on him. Later he had left again and did not return for many days. Davien had also left, leaving Rem's care solely to Jaken.


	26. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 26

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"As the darkness deepened I began to feel alone, slowly the faces I loved began to fade and details slipped away. Only once since I fell in to shadow did I hear his voice, so beautiful and comforting and I told him, that mirage, that I feared him. No... not him, but of losing him."

"Two weeks! Two weeks I've sat in this... this dungeon, two weeks I sat silent and alone and for what?" Rem belligerently screamed murder after both betrothed and steadfast servant vanished without a word. "I wake up and all that remains his Jaken and you wonder why I am angry!?" Although she raged her indignant treatment, their explanation had merit, especially to her.

"Lady... did you miss us?" Blush rose to her cheeks and she blew up further.

"NO!" When she risked a glance at Sesshomaru she bolted. In the farthest corner of the third floor a door slammed.

"I think she missed us, don't you?" Davien tossed his coat on to a chair and sat for the first time in comfort. Sesshomaru said little after their... loud homecoming.

"Did you find your spirit channeler?" Davien looked side long at Sesshomaru. "You didn't find what you sought did you."

Sesshomaru sat down refusing to waste his breath being baited by a half demon. Davien sighed. "I found him alright, but it turned out I found him after being thrown into a six foot hole. He is dead." To tell the true, even if he wouldn't admit it, Davien was bothered with not having been able to find him still alive himself. He would have wished for Rem's memory returned and he could tell they were running out of time.

"Then I have no choice..." Sesshomaru had read long and hard into how to return Rem's memory. Few things seemed reliable enough to work. Reintroducing memories didn't work, instead of helping she convulsed and raged as if tormented. He would not risk seeing that particular sight again. That was the only thing which invoked change in her though. "Whatever you hear you will never utter a word about, outside of this place and even there I will not tolerate it." Davien thought for a moment to mock him, but he didn't. To Sesshomaru this was a very important and sensitive situation.

.

The stairs which lead to the third floor seemed to suddenly have too many steps. The light seemed to faint in the middle of day and even the feel of his fine clothing seemed to feel like wire spool. Even when he reached the top of the stairs the hall seemed disproportionate and warped. The hall was too long for his estate and his eye followed the designs that arched and waved in the carpets and the final door down the corridor loomed ominous as if evil laid dormant inside. _Can I do this?_

He did not need to knock or open the door. She already knew he was there. From the other side of the door he could tell she was pressed against it listening closely.

"What do you wish of me?" She refrained from saying his name, something he noted with a slight pain in his chest. _She is getting further away._

"I'd like to come in." He held his breath a moment knowing that alone would not gain him entrance without force. "Please." From behind the door he heard her take in an unsteady breath before opening the door. She did not look at him and out stretched her arm, waving him in. Sesshomaru took the door and closed it silently; Rem knew something was wrong in an instant.

"What are you doing?" She stepped away from him with fear.

For a moment an image flashed; for just a second of an enraged Sesshomaru. Eyes glowing red, claws and teeth bared. "Sesshomaru..." Again the image flashed and she screamed. Pictures, so many crossed her eyes and pain lanced threw her. This sparked other memories, long forgotten.

Oil, burning, poison induced spasms. Her back arched and she would have fallen forward if not for Sesshomaru. Her parents death unfolded before her. He could tell from the look on her face and the gut retching scream.

_Sesshomaru-sama... Help me._

Her breathe became ragged and her hair sprang loose of its binding. Something she rarely allowed. It was always tied back in place... the one thing she had control over.

Demons covered in lesions and sores, blood poured out of their mouths as she relived again in full her poison generated insanity. A sword rose and fell, cutting men down whether they stood in her path or no. Her own venomous screams of terror made her shiver and quake.

"Rem." For a moment only, the pain stopped. Only as long as the voice of pure harmony whispered threw her.

Sesshomaru lowered her to the floor, her fit continuing as she envisioned her own death before crazed townsmen and women for unexplainable deaths. Their faces dove in and out before her, laughing and taunting her, but the darkness cleared.

"Rem."

"Stop it!..." _Hurry, keep going... I want..._

Her skin was on fire as her mind travel through forests and over ocean where she knelt before a white clad man. Dark long hair trailing down his back, she slowly began to turn, sword in hand.

"Rem!" A new voice she did not recognize. It threw her from her nightmare and forced her back into the real world. The grip on her arm pulled her across the room, her vision swimming in and out.

"Stop... please." _To be free..._

She half stumbled as who ever held dragged her. "I never expected a great demon lord such as yourself to go that far. This being my fiancé after all, I will be taking her back. We have so things to get back to." She ripped her hand away from the figure and she slumped forward her knees under her and her head bent over almost touching the floor.

_He will ruin everything! Stop him._

"I am Ichiou. Don't you remember me? It couldn't have been so long ago? Have you forgotten about me... our engagement in my father's palace... the emperor of China?" Her face contorted and the pain struck her again. She could see it all. There were still some spots missing, but she saw it. He stood holding her hand, and old man smiling, a throne in all its splendour.

_No!... Stop... Stop it!_

Ichiou took a step closer so as to not give Sesshomaru the chance to retake Rem or to attack.

"Looks like my information was correct. I'll be taking her then." Ichiou picked her up, but she threw him off. Sesshomaru seethed beneath and well-polished and well-manicured neutral expression.

"Wait... Is... is this true?" She glanced up at Sesshomaru, tears trailing down her face, teeth grinding as she fought off the pain. He simply nodded. He could not lie to her anymore. It seemed to only make things worse... It seemed to make what remained of his Rem fade faster. _She is going to go with him... I can see it in her face._

"You see? He stole you from me, Rem. You are mine." He reached for her again, but she slapped his hand away. For some reason she was not ready to believe.

"...and what of you and I? Is this also a lie? Our engagement? What of Jaken, is he my friend, was Davien?" She forced herself a little closer leaning on her front arms for support, knees bent under her. All Sesshomaru could do was shake his head, revealing his lies used to protect her. Lies he told to keep her safe and with him, so she would know his bond and not be afraid of discrimination.

"You lied... You lied to me! Why? All this?..." She stood and Ichiou held her up, for the first time she allowed his touch. A sight which nearly tore sanity from Sesshomaru, a growl left his mouth behind grit teeth. Rem picked up vases and items which she threw at Sesshomaru who merely batted them away, littering the floor with shattered pieces.

"Let's go, Rem." Ichiou didn't look at her when he said this. Instead he conferred his triumph to Sesshomaru in a cold glance. One that also said _"Come for her. I dare you to again take what is mine. You are only a lesser lord, while I am so much and more." _

"I want to leave, Ichiou-sama. I don't' want to be here anymore." The words ripped further into Sesshomaru whom stood silent as Ichiou took Rem away. He could not take her back here; her life could not be guaranteed if he tried. Outside Ichiou had a small army which was no problem to take care of, but again, Rem was with them.

A litter waited outside and Rem was ushered in. Ichiou waited till the door closed and stuck his head out waving at Sesshomaru from the window.

"Jaken." His voice was low and lethal, a voice Jaken had never heard before.

"Yes my lord." The little demon shivered in fear before Sesshomaru's fury.

"Is Davien still on the premises?' He asked, but he already knew, Jaken shook his head and closed his eyes as Sesshomaru trashed the whole room without a finger. His aura alone was destructive enough to demolish any physical object or otherwise. Moments later Sesshomaru left the estate in shambles and without his servant. Jaken would not see his lord for weeks and when he did, he wondered if this was what he wanted when he began serving his lord and idol.


	27. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 27

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"I felt the pull of that warm light for the first time in what seemed like eternity. The sensation of waking slowly after a long night's sleep, before it turned to darkness and I was alone again. I thought while in this, blackness that I set for myself, that I might have been set free."

Rem sat while the litter moved out of the West lands and towards the sea. Ichiou had re-informed, to a point, that she was indeed engaged to him and was blessed by his father, the emperor of china. Although it all seemed to make better sense than anything Sesshomaru had told her, she felt strangely at a loss.

"Again please, why did all of this happen? Why was I there with him?" Ichiou hid his true self behind lies and deceit which Rem had no way of uncovering. Sesshomaru himself had attested to Ichiou's truth and his own lie, but why; she could not tell.

"You are my bride. Soon empress of China, of course evil men... no, demons would want you. Kill you or use you for ransom." She idly looked out the window watching the trees pass.

"What did he ask of you then?" He shifted in his seat and waved his hands dismissing her question.

"He never got the chance to ask. After you were taken I left with my army to retrieve you. Is there no better a way to thank me than bothering me with your questions? I did come all this way after all, just for you." She nodded her head and looked down at the clothes she still wore. Clothes Sesshomaru had given her. She admired the color and design, it was odd that her kidnapper treated her so kindly if he wanted nothing but money or something else. Ichiou could almost read the questions going through her head.

"Or maybe after stealing you he fell in love with you? Hardly, considering he is a demon, demons do not have hearts, do not have emotions." She looked at him sternly.

"I am half demon, Ichiou." He smiled only a little.

"Is that what he said?..." But he did not continue. _Let her think that._ It would only help him later he figured.

.

The time it took to return to the palace in China was exhausting. The scenery had changed so often she wondered if she was in different world. Forest, to rock covered landscape to ocean-side... never once the same, but when everything was said and done, she wanted to return to what she knew. Sadly that was in a completely different country. People spoke different, ate different, and dressed different. Everything was new and she often found herself hiding in the rooms she had been given in the palace. Alone.

"Why? None... of this makes sense. My mind is reeling; it never stops thinking of things. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat..." Her reflection in the mirror repeated everything back to her all the same. Without answers and without care the pulls of sleep called to her. While she slept most of her days in this almost fake looking castle on the ocean, she always woke tired.

_Why won't you let me free? I am you and you are me. We are one; there are no missing thoughts between us. We know this is wrong, but we cannot accept, what is before us. Do you not now love still love him? Do you won't miss that warmth, that care?_

"_Do we not miss him?" _

"Rem?" The darkness drifted away as did the dreams which plagued her mind at night.

"Ichiou... sama." _Run.. _ She sat up from her bed, he sat in a chair at her bed side. His concerns were not really for her, but for what he only imagined could ruin his plans.

"You do not seem well... Sleeping often and eating little..." Rem's face flushed deep red as she protested against the whispering voices in her head. _Run away... _ He did not seem convinced.

"Did he ever lay his hands on you? Rem?" She all but laughed, but it died away quickly.

"No, he only came near if I stumbled or fell." She sounded so stupid having said that.

"And did you fall often?" The question was double edged and the realization hit far harder than she wanted it too.

"Yes, and often." _Sesshomaru._ Ichiou clenched his teeth and stood up.

"I have no choice then. You will have to stay here in order to preserve your legitimacy to marry. If any one finds out you have been had, then this cannot continue." Rem was without words. She did not except him to think that far in to her words.

"Not like that, not so much as all of that! I need not be locked up like some animal." He turned before opening the door, but the words she could not hear were not needed. His expression was all she needed to know without a doubt. He had already said if before, that demons were without a heart and he had to be a demon. It was in the way he spoke, the way he looked at her... There was something terrible wrong with her 'fiancé'.

The door closed and the lock turned. Rem grasped her chest and twisted her shirt.

"If we have no heart, then why does it pain me so much?" _Sesshomaru... _"Sesshomaru..." Rem pulled the cover off of her and she dressed in clothes which would be easiest to move in. She went from window to window and to the door which stood locked. "I have to get out of here. I can't stay here." _Sesshomaru._ With effort she forced what little power she had to bring force poison enough to melt the locking mechanism. Then, ear pressed against the door she listened.

_Quickly_

It was inside of her head then. The need to run. To escape. She didn't know what she was running from truly, but it didn't matter. No one guarded her room and no person walked the halls. The drive to move and with haste over whelmed her. So, running as if chased, she took every turn she could to find a way out. Outside the windows a shadow followed her, forcing her to run faster, run harder. Perhaps she _was_ being chased.

"There is no one here..." Not a single person was seen in the whole time she had being running around. Not a sound, only the shadow that stalked her and even that she wondered if she imagined. But then she heard it and knew. "What in god's name...?"

The sound was steady she realized and it was actually people and the sound shook the palace floor. She also knew the almost silent voice closest to her was one she knew. The shadow which haunted her steps was Davien. She knew him.

"Where are you little bird!" She chanted out the window at the masses. Thousands of people stood guard outside the palace, against what foe she did not know, but their enemy must be strong.

"I'm on the roof top, Little Dove." The voice she could have sworn was right behind her, but when she turned he was alone.

"The roof..." _Hurry. Quickly! _"Stop it, stop it!" She shook her head and ran towards the stairs. She didn't want to follow Davien's directions, but she did anyhow. That voice in her head only got worse when she had tried to turn away.

.

At the top of the stairs a light shone down. Again voices tore the sky and heavens. They were so loud and so many. She took the steps two at a time until she reached the top.

"Sess...homaru..." Standing over Ichiou he loomed like a reaper.

"Rem..." His voice was almost... longing and it pained her to hear it.

"Stop this!" She ran over and flung herself over Ichiou to protect him. Her mind screamed in protest, it was just natural to her. His breath was heavy and then suddenly stable.

"You really are stupid. Just like the rest. Even Davien could not pick a smart woman. You are all stupid!" Ichiou laughed behind her and he stood up dragging her along by the collar of her shirt.

"What are you doing...?" She could barely speak and she grabbed his arm to force him to let her go. He did not so she dug her nails into him, thick with poison he dropped her and kicked her.

"Enough!" Sesshomaru's voice echoed over the massing of teeming thousands. He could not make a move with Rem so close to Ichiou. He wouldn't risk it.

"I will explain to you your folly little girl. You have been used by me and by him. He lied to you about your past, but it was to protect you. This, fool, has only held you close to save you from evil men like me. You are no demon, you are not special. I even let my own brother live for years, just to torment him myself; and my father let me! I took you back just to break your loved ones heart, but only you could have done it better. You actually walked away from him. To be with me!"

The world shook under her body as she caught her breath while starring at the stone floor. Her body wretched as memories filed in faster than she could handle. Her mind split open and Ichiou's mad laughter made her ears ring.

"Make it stop!" And then everything cleared away into warm light.

"_It has been too long for us. I have missed you." _Before Rem stood, dressed in clothes she only recently remembered, she took in a deep breath.

"_Will I disappear now... now that you are coming back?" _She looked up at her old self, stronger in ways she had never been and weaker in others.

"No. We are one. You and I.._." _A moment passed without a word or a whispered breath.

"_And us for him." _A tear rolled down both of their faces, same and completely different all the same because of their different memories and thoughts. The Rem now melded with the Rem from before. Dressed in Sesshomaru's clothes and Chinese fashion they became what they were always meant to be.

One.


	28. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 28

Benevolently Unbound - A Sesshomaru Romance

"The darkness had been peeled away like the rise of the morning sun. The feeling of being embraced by someone that knew you the best was terrifying and beautiful. No one would ever know me better than myself and I would never part from that again."

On the ground, crouched before a mad man with title and royal blood, Rem shivered. Her tensed and tears freely fell, her fists clenched.

"I know you..." Ichiou laughed as she pulled away the hair which blocked her eyes and stood hunched over. She looked half dead. She felt half dead.

"Rem...?" Her mind blazed with his voice and her heart sang. A sound which pained her for her stupidity and ignorance. She forced her mind clear by digging her nails into her palms. Blood trickled.

"I know you... I know what you are." She lifted her head to glare at Ichiou, his attention was on the ground where blood pooled at her feet, smoking and frothing. Her blood was eating away at the stone with an acrid stench which burned his eyes. She would not look at Sesshomaru. Not yet. If she did...

"You know me? You know nothing." In her ears she could hear the distant sound of faded screams. Slowly they became louder and louder, Ichiou's sword glinted like a thousand treasures at his side.

"You are right... I know nothing..." Her face contorted as she swung her fists at him, poison flew with each swipe she took to maim him. "DIE!" The recalled memories of her past no longer caused pain, rather they gave her strength.

"You filthy wench, get back." He reached for the sword at his side and hit a wall behind him. It's metal sheen reflected light and she saw her own image on the blade. Time stopped with the blade drawn in front of him, but time was in her favour.

The weapon was in his hand, still withdrawing from its sheath. And opportunity was in her grasp.

Rem grasped Ichiou's hand still drawing the sword. He fought to continue pulling the weapon back to cut her down, but she held firm.

"I know what you are... you are dead." She forced the blade threw his chest pinning him to the wall. His scream ripped the sky open and she ripped the sword from his gut and raised it to kill him without a chance of survival.

A gentle hand held her.

"Leave this to someone else." Sesshomaru stood behind her and she dropped the bloodied weapon at her side. It clanged and sparked against the stone.

"I will take it." Davien flew down on raven wings. "I am... glad to see you are alright." He turned to Sesshomaru. "I thank you as well. I'd ask how you knew I did not betray, but I don't really care. Thank you for my release. I owe you a life debt. You need only ask." Sesshomaru nodded and with the sound of soft wind, Davien took his brother in his arms.

"Davi... you came back for me?" Davien did not answer and smiled at his brother's pathetic form before taking to the skies.

No words were spoken between the two who remained, only the cries of war below and the wind which offered only a quiet sigh. She turned, but her eyes were on the floor, the blood stained stone. A single finger trailed from her ear to her chin, making her look up.

"I had forgotten... I had forgotten and left..." The tears would not stop as much as she wanted them to.

"And if I said, that did not matter?" She sobbed outright and she flung herself into him, crying uncontrollably.

"I have missed you... so much!" She pulled his shirt and squeezed as if he might suddenly disappear, her knees gave away and hit the ground. Sesshomaru bent down to her and again lifted her face.

"I know. I... have also." Frozen in a moment she feared a dream, he closed the gap between them and kissed her. His lips so warm and soft broke her heart into pieces too many to count or find. Pieces of her she could only give to him. He pulled away, just a little to look at her and she pushed forward pushing hi back.

"Don't leave me... Please!" He sat up and gathered her in his arms, no longer aware of the outside world.

"I do not plan to. Not ever." She allowed herself to look into those ambers eyes she often lost herself in. The eyes she daydreamed about in the garden outside when Jaken would pester her.

"Ever..." The psalms words of a thousand sages could not heal the wounded heart, but his simple words could and she thanked every god known and unknown for him. "Home." That was all she could manage to say and Sesshomaru stood up, Rem cradled so small in his arms he thought for a moment that he might break her. She was so fragile to him and there were so many times he did not know what to do with her.

Traveling, Rem could only think was other worlds and planes of existence, she allowed herself to release everything painful. She was given the chance to start new and she would protect that new future with her life. The warm light that bathed her carried her to lands she knew and had grown to love.

"I love you..." She allowed her spirit to say what her voice was unable to and the light grew brighter; its warmth delving into her soul and dreamless sleep, peaceful sleep took her away.

.

.

.

.

Story continues with Mephitic Dreams.


	29. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 29

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_Months had passed since returning with Sesshomaru to the Estate. Ichiou was considered a casualty of battle and his body never was found. Davien never returned to the estate either and everything was normal, so to be expected. Fate had finally smiled down on me and like all turning points in life; mine would never be the same."_

_._

The light filtered into the room threw the glossy curtains making my eyes open. It was too bright to go back to sleep. I made the effort to stay silent and still while listening to the steady movement of 'his' breathing. Whenever Sesshomaru knew that was what I was doing though he would get out of bed immediately.

"You are doing it again." I smiled and turned over. His eyes more yellow in the light than amber, I rested my head on my hands.

Time changed so much.

"I was not." He knew whenever I lied. It was tiresome when I wanted to get away with something, but I had also gotten good at reading things about him. Something that bothered him far more than it bothered me.

"No?" I hid my smile into the linen.

"No." I mumbled and he uncovered my face again. "You sleep too much... and too long."

"You just missed me." He forced a frown and I pulled myself into him. _I am blessed._

It was strange. From the time we had returned it almost seemed like we had gone back in time and nothing had ever happened, but slowly it did changed. As much as he stayed by me, he was... happier looking about it. I couldn't have wanted more. Even after my original room had been repaired, I never returned to it. There was nothing done other than conversation and sleep in the room, but it did not mater. There was a bond that I didn't think could ever be broken. He seemed content with the way things were... aside from his restlessness recently.

"Nonsense. You are right here." I laughed and the visible stressed dropped away from him. It was always like that. He was always tense and thinking so hard on everything, but just a simple laugh and his worries drifted away.

"And if I wasn't, would you miss me?" I was purposely bugging him. I loved the way he avoided the questions he didn't want to answer. He had too much pride it seemed to risk saying such 'romantic' words. His jealousy on the other hand I had learned of very quickly. It was a possessive drive and I believed that was why he traversed after me, everywhere.

"You are never not here." I let it go. I knew what the answer was even if he would not say it.

"True. Something I have little issue with." He lost the temperamental look on his face.

"Little?" He sat up from the bed; he was already dressed. He did not need sleep like I did and so he simply rested next to me. It took a long time to get used to the thought of someone watching you sleep.

"You think too much." He always read too much into what I said and knew he would purposely speak in the riddles instead of staying anything outright. I wondered if he thought I may be taken again and that was why he watched over me to... piously. I was never left alone; for long.

"Impossible." He waited for me to get out of bed as usual.

"Do not be that way." I wrapped my arms behind him and lightly squeezed. He was a seemingly lean framed man, but I could never get my arms all the way around. My hands were very small compared to his as well. It sometimes bothered me at night when the moon shone, his shadow would consume mine on the wall and you would never have known I was there.

There were other small things that bothered me; things Sesshomaru simply would not hear. The main one I wanted to know about was when I was forced to jump from the third floor.

When I was 'alone' this was the one thing that vexed me to no end. Why, what had happened to him? Why would he not speak of it to me?

"I am myself. I do not change." I set my head against his back and listened to the not so steady sound of his heart beating in his chest.

"No? Than we have a difference of opinion." I felt his eyes as I left the room with the cloths I would wear after bathing. I did it in the morning ever since Davien had taken me. It wasn't that I didn't feel safe, but I could not explain it. Even to myself.

The other thing that flustered me was the return of my heavier toxins. For a while, there had been few times when I was of little danger to people. Now even Jaken had problems. It was almost as if my venom had doubled since it had waned. I was worse than ever. Only Sesshomaru was unaffected, having poisons in him his-self. He had a natural born immunity to me.

"Bother... I sound like a plague."

The bathing pool was set up for me. Jaken had been ever so caring since I returned. I noticed he missed me calling him master Jaken. He enjoyed simple things.

.

As much as I had returned to a 'relatively' health state, I slept ill. As Sesshomaru said, I did sleep too long. Even for a human, my rest was not fitful. Although better than before, I dreamed of things. Things I could not recall when I woke. Things I was afraid of... I had no protection against.

"So many good things... and yet the little things... trouble me." I bathed quickly unlike most days. I dried off, dressed and left pausing outside the door. The carpet was still singed after my poisons had eaten away at it months before. I sighed.

"Are you ill, Rem?" Jaken hobbled down the path, he always seemed to be just behind me, like Sesshomaru.

"I'm fine Master Jaken. I'm... fine." I left him alone in the hall and skipped breakfast, returning to the master room. When I opened the door Sesshomaru was already there.

"You have not eaten yet Rem." His voice was cool and melodic, the sound that made my heart skip beats.

"I am well aware. I'm not hungry this morning..." For some reason I felt almost ashamed, like I had done something wrong.

"You do not sleep." I turned to the window and stared at birds playing in the wind and on the branches of trees.

"You say I sleep too much, now I don't sleep at all?" I could hear his footsteps behind me. I could almost hear his breath.

"You close your eyes, but you are restless. You dream." He paused. "What do you dream?" He could tell the words sounded odd even to himself.

"Dreams? You ask of dreams?" I placed my hands on the window sill. I wouldn't let him worry about things I could not even remember when I woke.

"I'm just tired and restless. It is nothing." He said nothing more and left, the door closing softly behind him.

"We are so different... Both you and I..." I wondered why, after all this... why we are so suddenly distant.


	30. Benevolently Unbound Chapter 30

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_Could we return to the man and woman we had been once? Was it after everything said and done a Demon had little use or want of a human girl? The remedy for my listless nights and restless days felt like needles in my side, always a bother and always there._

Tired. I was always tired now. Those dreams which vanished like a scent on a strong breeze, taken to places I could not find them again. Belatedly I realized the time of day, it was late and Sesshomaru was gone. It was the first time since my return that I had not woken to him by my side, sleeping or otherwise.

"Rem?" _How did he always know? How did the little demon know whenever I woke? Did he stalk my door until I did, he is always there..._

"Yes master Jaken. What would you like?" Simple enough was knowing, harder yet was why.

"Can I come in?" His voice seemed to tremble behind the door. I almost answered 'no', but I chose otherwise.

"Yes. You can enter." I threw a light robe over my night clothes as the door swung open. "May I... have a word with you; A private word?" His normally cheery disposition faded away and was replaced by one unsure.

"I can answer certain things yes, others no." _Fair enough._

"Lord Sesshomaru... Is something wrong with matters of state? Or anything else that would... trouble his mind?" I made sure to leave the topic general and open ended. Any information would help me, I was sure of it.

"Ee... not that I know of..." _Liar..._

"I see. Then I need nothing else of you. Thank you Jaken." Although I released him from any duty to me, he stayed.

"He is busy... With what, he does not sayto me, why would he...? He is in his study, I can't say more." She heard what he refused to say out loud. Whether it was of fear of retribution or pride for his lord he remained silent to that matter.

"I will help him in whatever way I can. Whatever I must do." Ease washed over Jaken and he bowed. I had somehow gained the care of a demon and the trust of his obstinate servant.

I redressed myself and for once forwent bathing. I didn't feel that it would help me as I wished it would. Without really caring I wandered out side. _How do I help him? How can I help my-self? Can I help at all...?_

"Dammit." A chill poured over my back and gooseflesh froze me in place. _Someone is here._

_**Quisnam es vos , Era. Quare operor vos spiritus idem eadem idem aer tanquam. vos es amo mihi. Sanctimonialis**_

Rem turned around and found nothing. The voice she could not understand, but spoke to her. That much she could tell. The language was so different from her own, even from Davien's.

_**EGO specto nostrum placitum. Rem**_

_What in the world is going on?_ I swung back to face were I had come. "I must be mad..." Was my world turning inside out?

"I doubt it." I spun around, fist clenched and breathe ready to scream bloody murder.

"Mother on earth... Sesshomaru, why do you scare up on people like that?!" I sat down exasperated. He could come up to someone quieter than a shadow without effort.

"Are you alright?" I let out a breath that had been pent up inside since the voice. One I knew was not Sesshomaru.

"Yes, I'm just... I thought I heard a voice." His eyes narrowed and I could feel his senses roaming. He either found nothing dangerous or could not find 'it' at all. The latter set my mind reeling, but the chill had vanished and the suns light warmed my back.

"There is nothing here." His words irked me for all that he tried to calm me.

_Now..._I stood up and walked off without him.

"Do not walk from me, Rem." Hard words, but I am not man's woman. Even if my heart rested in his hands.

"Then walk with me." I continued without him and he did not make the effort to follow.

.

Later, inside the comforts of bed, I sat. Staring out the window listening for something more than the wind, birds and swaying of branches, there was no tell-tale voice among them.

"What language could it have been? Was it even a language?" I felt like I was being watched. It was suffocating, nauseating. Tomorrow I would study language from Sesshomaru's vaulted library of books and scrolls. I would make myself useful and find out for myself, a part of 'what' seemed to stalk me. I would have asked Sesshomaru, but he seemed to have things of his own to deal with. Things he cared not to involve me with and I would show him the same favour.


	31. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 31

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I did not see Sesshomaru for days after deciding to delve into his library. The literature he kept went beyond matters of estate and bloodlines, but to things of the occult as well. It was not wonder that he seemed all knowing. Perhaps he was."_

"Are you going to hole yourself up in this stuffy room till you rot?" Jaken had over the last week become somewhat irate. 'Somewhat' being a rather inapt word for it. He was driving me insane.

"It would not be so stuffy if you managed to clean it." To make my point I blew dust off a particularly musty looking book at him.

"If I had the needed help, I might get to it." _Pain..._

"You do not complain when Sesshomaru-sama holes himself up in his study." I swallowed my words as soon as I Sesshomaru entered.

"That is because I do not hole myself in a room after eating little food for many days." It was true, somewhat. I had grown intrigued with my persona studies, that I left breakfast untouched.

"I never see you eat." It was a bland retort, but I couldn't think of anything better to say. In general we had nothing to say, both engrossed in our work as we were.

"Why are you in here, Rem?" That was another thing I had realized had grown on me. Both in a good and bad way. The way he always said my name, it was a boon to my heart when we spoke so little, but a bane when I had work to do. I could not think of work when my mind hovered of a sensuously spoken word.

"Learning. As best as I can..." I wasn't doing so well.

"What?" He almost, almost sounded surprised. Like a woman learning was taboo.

"Yes, women can do that you know. Not just men." His glare forced me to look away and replace the book in my hands. "Language. I wish to learn different languages." I fixed my mind set. Sesshomaru was not a man who thought a woman less than a man because of one's sex.

"You are interested in such things?" I turned, his voice had changed from neutral to something else. Guarded or was it just curious?

"When the mood strikes me, yes." Jaken left the room more irritable then before, mumbling and muttering heard as the door closed with a heavy thud.

"What language?" I walked over to a few books I had gone through which reminded me most of the voice. Even when just thinking of it the chill returned and left me without warmth. Sesshomaru being the only one to take it away. He passed a finger over the titles and stopped at a particular one. "These are all European languages. Why learn these?" I stopped myself from spewing nonsense about the voice, but he only grew more suspicious.

"Nothing really. I just find I need something fill my empty time." I plucked another book from the shelf and opened it. The words didn't carry the same tone as the voice so I returned it.

"Are you... bothered by anything?" My mind didn't comprehend the words.

"I'm sorry, please say that again."

"It is nothing." He stepped away and I came up behind him grabbing onto his shirt.

"Come to dinner tonight." I lifted my head to see him nod and I rested my head on his back for a moment. I was suddenly very tired and his warmth seemed to give me strength. I let him go and he paused by the door looking as if he could see threw it or like a specter bewitched him.

"Try Latin. It is, an attractive language." Still he waited and then turned back to me, a hand out stretched. I took it and he held me like he hadn't in what seemed like an eternity. "Eat in the morning and I will dine with you at night." If was fair enough of a request, one I thought I got the better side of.

.

When the feeling of Sesshomaru's aura subsided I resumed my research. It wasn't long before I got angry with dead ends and wanted to lob all the books across the room, before remembering what Sesshomaru had suggested.

"Latin...Latin... Latin... Latin! Found it." I opened the book and looked at some of the easy words I could learn quickly. One caught my attention like a blow to the stomach.

"Sanctimonialis..." I fanned through the pages to find the Japanese word for it. _Sister. _"Who would call me sister?" I took the book and placed the others that offered no help where they belonged. My little search had ended quickly, but now I good start the fun stuff. Finding out what everything meant.

"Jaken!... Jaken." I raced down the hall after hearing his littler pitter pattering.

"Must you yell?" I ignored him like I did when he was in this kind of mood.

"Latin. Who speaks Latin? What type of person would find a need to us the language?" I looked down at him intensely and he took on the airs of someone much higher than me. He often did that when I required his information on a subject.

"Latin people speak it." _Want to die little imp?_

"And?" I waited as patiently as I could before I tossed him like I wanted the books.

"Scholars, Wiseman, Translators... A lot of people need to understand many languages other than their own. Lord Sesshomaru knows all of them in depth as are fitting his greatness and rule of the West." _Jackpot!_

"Ah, Thank you." I left him in the middle of the hall.

"Are you going to help clean today!?" I chanted down the hall to him as I turned the corner.

"No, I have dinner to make for Sesshomaru-sama!" I could hear him throw a fit from down the first flight of stairs.

The only thing that reached my mind was why anyone Latin would call me sister... Or did it have another term. Like a young child calling someone older onee-san, even though they have no blood relation. Still, I knew no own of Latin descent. For that I was positive, so they only thing that remained was someone not family or friend. Outside those influences would be work.

"Sesshomaru-sama." He was the only other person, other than the lord of the South. _It always calls to me. That past better left forgotten..._

Those two were it. Those were the keys to unlock my problem. It was just a matter of figuring out which one fit the lock... and worse yet, what the lock was hiding away.

"Interesting, Rem." In my need to think and uncover truths shadowed in lies, I had burned dinner. I had also stained the clothes I wrapped around my waist to protect my clothes from ruin. It had worked in its essence I suppose. I glared at Jaken for his comment.

"I was busy in thought!" I stared at the food I had attempted to make and leaned back against the rear counter. _Dammit._ "Sesshomaru is going to be angry..." Jaken had no words of sympathy or comfort._ Little worm! You call yourself a demon!? "_Jaken help clean away the mess, while I start the dishes." I would have to make something simple, quick and easy to make up for it. Hopefully Sesshomaru wasn't too hungry. Not that he ever ate, but if he did I will have spoiled his chances to eat good food...

"My Lord Sesshomaru!" I turned quickly knocking things own all around me on the counter. Sesshomaru wasn't there, but Jaken laughed. My reaction was amusing to him and so I bolted and chased him down the hall.

"You little vermin! How could to do that?! I'll end your little life!" He was fast for a toad and could turn faster than anything I had ever seen.

**Mos vos saluto mihi per patefacio telum , sanctimonialis Rem?**

My breath caught in my lungs and I halted. Jaken was beyond my sight, I could see nothing and the voice invaded my everything. I was chilled and I knew, no matter where I looked, I would not find the owner whose voice froze me in place. My thoughts broke, I needed something, anything. _I want to run. I want to get away from here. But... it will find me won't it? Where ever..._

"Rem." The ice shattered as did my composure. The tears I could not stop if I tried. My hands shook and I went to stop them with the other hand, but his already gripped mine. I could tell even without seeing, that it was him. I couldn't see passed the tears and I could only feel the warmth that only he offered, but I knew.

"Sesshomaru... sama." I balled my hands into a fist, trying to forcibly stop their shaking.

"I think you are finished in the kitchen today." A finger wiped the tears from my face and knew that it was not just my hands that shook. _It was only a voice... Just a voice!_

"How did you know?" It came with clarity beyond anything I had ever witnessed. The fabric of confusion crashed aside and revealed a truth I had missed. "Latin... how did you know I was trying to find that language?" He remained silent as he always did as he lifted me up.

.

For now I would accept defeat, but after that I would not allow him to find solace in his study. I would hound him till he explained his knowledge of what I was after, while I didn't. But then that would also slow my progress... And then another thought, even darker than the last.

He has been in his study as long as I have been and on pure chance knew what I sought after.

"You know something, don't you? About the voice?" It was only a moment, I could have looked over it if I wasn't in the state of clarity that I was. For a second, no even less, his hands had begun to tighten while he carried me down the hall of the third floor.

What forced me to realize it was no figment of my imagination was that at the same moment his breath caught and he held it, for just too long, to be other than a fluke.


	32. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 32

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_Not without a fight, not while I came into this world with a voice louder than any. I wouldn't go down without a battle and my target was formidable. I will make him tell me all that he knows for sure."_

"No, don't!" I ran into the door as it closed shut and locked. _Not again._ "Tell me! Tell me what you know! Don't lock me in here, don't... lock me away." He had grown cold and rigged by the time we had reached the door. As always when he took me in his arms he rested me on the bed before stalking away. Today had a heavy aura of déjà Vu. "Please! Sesshomaru-sama!" For the words that would not come out, it felt as if the world had been pulled from under me and I was falling. "Don't do this! I'll... I'll go mad in here alone! Don't keep me here!" I screamed every word that I could think of to allow my release. In the moment it took for me to realize what he was doing, I had been too late. My heart had ripped in two and I bled on the floor, imploring him to change his mind. But after asking about the voice his resolve had been unmovable. A fortress that I could not climb, swim across or break down now stood between us.

"Jaken. Do not let her leave. For anything." His voice was frosted, like I had done something unimaginable against him.

"Y-yes, my lord... but..." The question went unasked and Jaken's voice crumbled away revealing fear.

"Don't you dare show cowardice to him, Master Jaken! Do not let your question go unanswered as mine! You have the right! Tell him Sesshomaru, tell me!" I couldn't speak anymore, my throat closed with the severity of my stress and the tears wouldn't stop. I sniffled like a babbling child and no one would heed my pleas for help.

"If she needs anything you will ask me first about it. I don't care how little a thing it seems, she cannot be trusted." The physical floor below me quaked and my hands flew to the door bashing away.

"I'm sorry! Whatever I have done, please forgive me! Sesshomaru!" Nothing... no words came from the other side of the door. Not a whisper, not a sigh. _What did I do? What have I done that he finds me worth not trustworthy; to be locked away, to have everything taken away... p_lease..." My nails ran the length of the door, clammy from crying and holding a fist. "Jaken... I know you are there, tell me. Why?... Why does he hate me?" _What have I done?_

"I'm sorry. Before I say more I will leave to gather myself. I can say nothing more."

"No wait, please. Jaken!" _Wait...please god, someone listen to me._

_._

When I had exhausted myself to the point of forced sleep, waking up again was painful. I woke in bed and covered up.

"Sesshomaru?" He was not here, but he had been. The window lay open and the curtains billowed in on warm light and a soft breeze. If he would not let me out, I had no choice, but to leave of my own volition. "Jaken-sama. I beg you; speak to me." Silence as thick as blizzard snow answered me. "So be it." I turned to the bed and ripped the bed sheets off, then walking to the dresser I looked for the small knife Sesshomaru used for opening letters. "It's gone!" It hit me. I searched for every item in the room that was sharp and they were all gone. "Sesshomaru-sama!" _I'll kill him. _"Fine..." I rammed the sheet corner into my mouth and cut away enough that I could just rip the sheet by hand. After shredding a whole sheet I tied the ends to make rope. I was going out the window, just not like I had the last time.

_I'll make my own exit._ I threw it out the window, but it was not long enough. I couldn't help but feel time was wasting and that Sesshomaru was going to open the door any moment.

"Hurry..." I started shredding the second sheet and it was long enough that I could make that last bit without injury. _Ok. _I jumped onto the window sill as quietly as I could. If Jaken even _thought_ I was up to something, Sesshomaru would be here like the raging demon he was. I lowered myself onto the rope and began my descent. _Gods, this is high up... Don't think about it._ Little by little I passed the third floor and started on the second. Every time my foot slipped I feared someone would catch me and I refused to look down. It was as if he was just waiting at the bottom, arms crossed... _Get a grip. _The second floor came to an end and I almost wanted to just jump the last bit, but I held off. If I landed wrong and shouted I was done for. _Ok... ok... ok...oh god. _The curtains on this window had been drawn closed and I could barely see into this room, but that was enough. On the other wide of the curtain was Sesshomaru.

"Ren." His voice was low and had an almost evil tinge to it._ Gods, you can't be serious. I'm dreaming. I'm seeing things. He is not really there._ But when I opened my eyes, there he stood. He stretched out his arms and grabbed me. I tried to hold onto the rope, but it slipped from my fingers.

"No, no, no, NO! Let me go, don't bring me back. What have I done?" The energy left me. I had no strength to try and fight him off. He lifted me up and swung me over his shoulder. "You can't!" I was wearing pants, but the idea of being like this was shocking. The door opened and sure enough he turned to the stairs and climbed them with ease. It was like I was a child, slung over his shoulder bearing no weight compared to his strength and I punched him in the back "Let me down!" He stopped only for a moment and I thought he was going to scold me, severely, but he continued without a word. "I'm sorry." I went limp on his back and pulled absentmindedly at his clothes. They felt expensive, if that was possible. Again his breath stopped and he held it, just like before, but he said nothing. The door loomed just ahead as he rounded the last corner. I couldn't think of what to say, what to do. Screaming, crying, pleading... none of this had any effect.

The door clicked unlocked and he opened it wide.

"I want you to stay here." More waited at the tip of his tongue, I could see it, they're was so much, but nothing came out. He moved his hands to pull me off, but I refused to go. I latched on to him and wrapped my legs around. I would worry about how un-lady like and how simply embarrassing it was later. "Rem." He put his hands on my waist and pushed. I didn't budge. He obviously wasn't relying on that demonic strength of his. He pushed again, with more force. I could almost hear the suppressing of an irritated sigh in is voice. "Rem..." He was getting angry and with every push he got closer to removing me.

"No." That was all I could answer. From down the hall I saw Jaken and his face grew red.

"My lord!" _Go figure he sided with Sesshomaru._

"Rem!" It wasn't a yell but a sharp word to make me recall what I was doing and to whom. He pushed again and I felt myself slipping. Nothing else to do, nothing else to grab onto, so I did all I could.

I bit him.

"Rem!" Jaken screeched like a harpy in my ear. _Don't put me away, don't lock me up._ _I just want to help you, be next to you. Suki nan da? (Don't you know how much I love you?)_

"Please." My inner plea stopped in a beat. A word I thought couldn't be in Sesshomaru's vocabulary ushered out. A single plea of his own. "Jaken, bring something from the kitchens."

I let go, but he did not put me down. Instead he lowered me to eye level seeing as he stood a good foot over me. His face was so sad. A look I had never seen. A word I never knew he knew. Things I could not understand clearly ate away at him.

"Let me... help." He looked... as if he were breaking apart. "Sesshomaru?" His eyes focused on me where before he just seemed to take everything in. I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, something I thought he needed. Something also I doubted he had ever received. For a second he did nothing, as if too stunned to move. My heart thundered in my chest when I thought he was going to pull me off again, but he wrapped an arm around me and the other hand held my head to him. _Suki desu yo kimi no koto. (I love you)_

"You are very... strange." His words held a tone I again, had never heard before. I didn't want to let go, but I was too hot, without breath and very close to passing out with vertigo. I pulled back to see his face even though I knew mine was as red as it would ever be.

"Don't... lock me away. Please." One last plea. His face became softer, lighter and he pressed my face to his.

.

I was never able to think when he did that. That kiss which made the world vanish and fingers that seemed to pry, but never roamed from acceptable places. His hand moved from the back of my head to my cheek, which burned hot. His fingers dragging ever so slightly against me that I shivered despite being beyond hot. He pulled back for just a moment. Enough that I could see a face I would remember forever and would never fade. Words too often used and too many to describe.

Sorrow

Pain

Love

Loss

Jealousy

Possessiveness

And one that scalded my skin and froze me in place all the same.

...

...

...

Lust.


	33. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 33

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I couldn't say how I knew what was passing through his mind or even why. But it chilled me, I couldn't move and breathing was difficult. It wasn't until things got worse that I realized what I was doing."_

"Sesshomaru?..." Slowly he placed my feet on the ground, like I was something fragile and easily broken. His grip on my shoulders was tight and his fingers dug in slightly. "What's wrong?" His face changed and he turned his head to the side, no longer looking at me. I tugged on his sleeve slightly and he only closed his eyes. It was like he was battling himself and was somehow losing.

"You're poison... and these voices... I will speak with you later..." He refused to look at me. When I tried to move he stepped back and looked past me. "Stay here and I will not lock you inside." It was a declaration. _Stay or I will make you _stay was what he meant.

"What about them? Wait. Talk to me. Do not just... walk away from me." He turned an icy glare to me. One I had not seen directed at me before.

"Do not think to presume that you can say what I can and cannot do." And he left, I waited. I almost expected Jaken to spring from some hidden place and cry out 'Surprise", But Jaken never came and the surprise was on me. I could not leave the room as I wanted to before, because he had asked me to.

.

Hours later Jaken returned having ignored the request for something from the kitchen. Jaken must have known that Sesshomaru needed to speak with only me. Alone. I was slumped in front of the door, groggy with sleep when his hands plucked at my clothes.

"I will not eat. I refuse to sleep of my own accord and I will do nothing to better anything until I have answers. You can tell him so yourself you. I know you are his little servant, his little slave and pass word of my doings to him." Jaken said nothing and lowered his head slightly. I couldn't tell if he was angry or perhaps depressed, but either way it was little to no consolation to me. He left as he came, silent and bearing nothing.

.

Jaken didn't get far before he halted a moment at the end of the hall and stepped aside. The great demon lord himself coming where Jaken had just left.

"You refuse to eat?" I refused to look at him. He closed the door behind him before sitting at a table close by. I didn't reply and he said nothing and only watched me.

"What?" No reply. "What do you want? Say something." Nothing, he simply sat and waited. After a minute passed he glanced at the plate Jaken had brought before, still untouched. "You're not going to speak until I eat? Is this not childish?" There was still no response. A grin peeled across her face and she sat down at his table, the plate before her and picked up the fork "Fine." She twirled the fork a moment in her hands and stabbed it into a piece of meat. Then she lifted it up and with her other hand flung the plate from the table. It shattered and food littered the floor. When Sesshomaru showed no change in attitude she ate the food on the fork and sat it down nicely like nothing had happened. With a sigh she turned to look at him with a smug look. "I'm done." He glanced at the food wasted on the floor.

"Clean up your mess, child." She chuckled, if he was going to play a game she would finish it.

"I see no mess." Sesshomaru stood from his seat and she wondered for a moment if playing him was a good idea to begin with.

"Listen well..." The angry rose without a minutes notice and boiled over.

"No! You listen! I wanted to help, be helped, not locked up like something you no longer want. If that's the way it is, then throw me aside and let it be done!" I willed the tears to stay shut behind my lids, but to no avail. As much as he had seemed infuriated his face softened.

"I do not wish... to throw you away, set you aside or anything else like it. I do not want or enjoy... locking you up where I cannot see you and where I know it pains you." This admission seemed to cost him much and his hand lowered where before it was posed to force me to clean up the mess I'd made.

"Then why? Why do this?" I looked up at him and plead to every god that he would not shut me out.

"You hear voices. You are kidnapped when I do not watch you closely enough and others have eyes for you." I couldn't see the emotions he felt and where they came from, but there they were. Burning and smoldering the demon before her.

"Kidnapping? Nothing came of it and Davien? You think him a match? You think I wonder of him in... Like that?" I could barely help stammering.

"Like what?" Sesshomaru bore down on me and the weight of it was enough to crush me.

"Like that. As if... he were more than... himself." That wasn't an answer and she knew it. The question hung in the air like a scythe raised by the devils hand. She could almost hear it, Sesshomaru's "_Like what__?"_. "It's like... I can't say it!" She couldn't imagine saying what she felt to ...him. Of all people the person he was and the title he carried was like... it was too much to admit.

"Then I have nothing to say either." Her jaw dropped open and she expected him to leave, but he didn't move.

"Your acting like a child, Sesshomaru. Being how old you are, should you not act more mature?" She crossed her arms and tried to hide the 'true' answer, but only turned redder. With surprise Sesshomaru lifted her up, one hand around her waist and the other cupping her face.

His kiss was no longer soft and inviting.

It was consuming and fierce. She couldn't resist him; she moved with him and melted to his form, almost like she was sculpted to fit him. Her heart hammered in her chest and her breathing was heavy. His hand drifted from her face and down her arm where he gripped her wrist and then pulled it back grabbing the other wrist. He pulled his face away and his scent was intoxicating. She floated on clouds that dreams where made of.

When she didn't answer in the time he allowed her to, he continued which only made her mind less apt to explain anything. She closed her eyes when he came closer again and she felt his breath, she instinctively shuttered and he pulled her even more into him. He paused while his breath ran down her neck and then with lips so soft, he kissed her there.

"S-s... stop." She was lucky to have managed that considering Sesshomaru's onslaught. "S-Sesshomaru-sama..." He didn't stop. Rem swore then to the gods to keep her heart in her chest because it felt like it would beat its way out. Grasping her waist he pushed her back and her calves hit the base of the bed. Pale eyes shot open and she fell back. Instinctively she grabbed on to anything to stop the fall, but only he was there. His kimono pulled tight and he leaned over top over her, his arms beside her face. Rem had a feeling that if she didn't say it now, he would not stop, but still the words wouldn't come out. _I can't... I can't say those words to you! I can't say "I love you" You are Sesshomaru. Great Dog demon, Sesshomaru. How can I say it?!_

Her hands flung up to hold his shoulders as far as she could manage while trying to move back, but his left hand gripped the material at her waist pinning her in place.

"Rem" Silky like the voice of a master of seduction, her resistance was quickly fading. _Why am I resisting?_ Her arms and lips quaked with him looming over her like he did. His silver hair falling past his shoulder next to her, She had always wanted touch it and wasn't surprised that it was soft. She instinctively moved his hair aside out of her face and giving him the time to lower himself.

"Please..." His face came closer and she couldn't see her heart lasting much more. Hyper-sensitized to everything he did, when his hair brushed her cheek she sighed. He paused and looked down at her with eyes different than before.

She knew her face was beyond red and that he would hear her hard breathing and more than likely the wild beat of her heart.

"Say it." She took in a shaky breath.

"I..." His gaze was embarrassing. He watched with so much intensity she thought she was going to burn up in it. "A-aishite...imasu.." (I love you) She wept then and he got off of her before walking around the bed and sitting down. His legs crossed in front of himself and his arms opened, his face grief stricken. Rem instantly closed the gap and flung her arms around his waist, crying her tears into this kimono.

"I am sorry. I did not mean... to frighten you. I did not mean to force you to say..." She withdrew from him and knew he could see the hurt in her face, eyes and heart. _He actually thought he _made_ me say something untrue!_

Without waiting to hear the inner thoughts and allow herself time to argue about it, she leaned forward and slipped her arms around his neck under his hair and kissed him. Before this, he had always been the one to kiss her

"I am not as sorry as you then." She pushed him back and lay, very conscious of herself, on top of him. "I do love you. No-one, nothing can change, force or take that from you." She kissed him again and slid to the side. She pulled his arm with her and held onto it like it was life-supporting and pressed his hand to her face.

And for the first time when she looked up at him, his face matched in color.


	34. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 34

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_What was going on in the world, what were the gods thinking when they created me? And more, what were they thinking when they created him, Sesshomaru, but worse yet. Why give him the power he had over me?" _

"Don't tell me, that this little thing I do now, embarrasses you?" When he turned his head away and attempted to apply his 'empty' face I couldn't believe it. "You just held me, kissed me,... you're..." I stopped. Just recounting what he did embarrassed me into silence.

"No." He remained looking off into nowhere. He sat back into his crossed leg position and acted then as if nothing had happened.

It was not fair.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" I curled my legs up and I balled up in his lap. If he would play a game so cruel and merciless, I could as well. He looked down at me and I up at him. My hands held his kimono by his shoulder sleeves and looked at him.

"Why did you... Ask me to say that to you?" I leaned into him and slightly pulled him to me. Unable to control himself, he turned a shade of red my face would be envious of.

"Sesshomaru?" _What am I doing? I've almost my mind._

"I wanted to." He stopped abruptly but it sounded like that was not all he wished to say, I could tell and I would press him like he had me.

"Why?" _Yes, Why Sesshomaru? Why? _He took a breath and tried to look away again, but my hand held it looking at me. He did not look away and his face changed.

"Because you are mine." My mind was blank. I no longer had the plan to best him or even the back thought that says to breathe or blink.

"I'm sorry? Say that again?" _Jealous? Angry? What on earth and sky..._ He pulled my hand away and held it in his. His other took hold of my chin and tilted it so I could see only him.

"You are mine. From here forward, no man can touch you."

It flashed before me so fast I felt I would be sick.

"For the crimes of your worthless mother and bastard father I condemn you as their child. You will watch them burn and live in servitude to me for the rest of your life. No one will lay hand on you and should you die before your sins have been paid, I charge you to finish you payment in whatever hell will take you."

"Don't, Sesshomaru..." My voice was almost a whisper. I could not begin to thinking that he was slowly turning into the Lord of the South. The Lord I had already run and escaped from. Would Sesshomaru prove to be only the same? That was possible. _He could never sink so low as that... use your brain. Think._

"I can do as I please." I pulled away from him in shock. I recited word for word what the Lord of the South used to condemn me. Those chilling words that haunted my nights and tormented my days. Sesshomaru said nothing for a moment.

"I do not... I will not force you to stay. I ask it of you." I couldn't hear what he was saying. I couldn't understand what he was trying to get across to me. His voice was suddenly hard and the words even I could tell had to be coerced from his body.

"I ask you stay, by me. Stay with me... Live with me." I still didn't understand.

"I do. I am with you. I stay by you when you will have me presence..." He took in a deep breath and moved forward pulling me to him and flipping me on my back. I froze. _This is not happening. Do something. Move you stupid woman. Move!_

"I want you to live with me... stay with me... he held by me... forever."

The word around me shattered and a small something in me broke away with it. The inability I had formed around me... to keep me safe from the world and everyone in it; to love. Unconditionally, without reason or thought.

"I...I..." He didn't let me finish.

"Love me. Only me." His kiss sealed me away from another man. I could never be with anyone else. No other man would suffice, but him.

"Yes..." I said it and knew I was willing myself to be forever tied to him.

"Say it." _Again with those words. I cannot say them... but gods, do I want to. So badly._

"Yes. I do, I will... I want to be... with Sesshomaru." I could see it in him as well. The breaking away of something he used to keep himself protected. Was he just like me? All this time, hiding his self from the world?

He stood and left the room with me lying on the bed, unable to move. The door remained open and I lay there for what seemed like an eternity.

I had never realized how detailed the work on the ceiling was until that moment either.

"Rem?" I tilted my head and Sesshomaru stood next to me again.

"Yes?" He picked me up in his arms and I buried my head in his chest. I couldn't look at him. I was beyond embarrassed. Where he carried me I was unsure, but I heard Jaken's voice over the sound of Sesshomaru's heartbeat. It was thundering like mine was. _Had he been afraid? That I might have said no? That I could have said no?_

"Now Jaken." Sesshomaru's voice rumbled and Jaken shuffled around doing something in a room I had not seen before. "It's here." Sesshomaru sat me down in a chair, his hair caressing my cheek as he stood up.

"Where am I?" Jaken had papers in his hand and placed them on the table. I could not read his face.

"My study." The answer seemed enough. I did not ask why I was here.

"Sign these. Wherever I have marked." I looked at the papers set before me and X's marked the pages where I was supposed to sign. A brush lay on the desk and I took it. I fumbled with my hand writing, I was taught how to, but never used it. My name smeared in black ink into the parchment. When it was finished Sesshomaru took them and rolled them, returning them to Jaken who left promptly without another word.

"What was that? Those papers?" He smiled then. Something I had never seen before. Something so simple and beautiful that it lit his whole face. _He is beautiful._

"Those papers tie you to me by law. **Not** like when you were bound to the South." He almost seemed smug when he spoke of it. Its meaning did not sink in.

"I'm sorry?" Too much had happened today and I felt stupid for having to ask for clarification.

"You our mine. By law you are mine; as a woman." It sank in. At first I was speechless and gawked at him, but this was not as one sided as he assumed.

"And you mine..." He looked at me startled and then smiled again. _Heaven and earth, just let me see that face when I die and I will be grateful for everything in life, good or bad._

"I am well aware." And he held out his hand for me to take.

Vicis est coming propinquus , Sanctimonialis. Nunc , EGO mos opportunus quis ago ultra mihi. Quis EGO have been sterilis ex in vita.

I withdrew my hand and he came closer. My shaking was uncontrollable.

"It's here..." He didn't understand and lifted my head. "The voice."

His face darkened.


	35. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 35

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"The voice was all encompassing: that voice inside of my head. It spoke words I did not know and about things I was unaware and I was even more unaware of the things, that voice wished to have, things that were mine and I would fight bloodied and ruined to protect."

I shook. I was frozen with Sesshomaru's hand outstretched to take mine. Bonded by law and by heart, I knew without knowing the language that this thing… sought what was mine. And that this voice would learn that I did not give up what was rightfully mine without a fight.

"Rem…" He spoke so distantly, his words as derelict as the voices. Longing and filled with sorrow. "Can you repeat what the voice says?" I shook my head, but the voice came again: in words I understood.

"Heed my words, sister. I am coming for you. For the thing which you stole and was taken. A thing more than you can imagine, wretched from my grasps, I am coming to take back what is mine. And what is now yours."

She choked in breaths as if she had been underwater for too long. Sesshomaru held her in the only way he knew how.

"What did it say?" Every word, sodden with emotions I knew. He did not understand himself. She knew fresh fear. The voice said what was hers and Rem carried.., but what had she gained? What would it take from me?

She glanced at Sesshomaru and felt the life drain from her. She pulled away and decided with clarity and a will of her own, forged out of raw fear and rage, to leave him. For as long as it took to insure his safety.

"Get away… from me." It pained her more than the poison induced haze; of watching her family burn in agony and finding out that almost every person involved in her existence had betrayed her. "Please…" Rem swallowed the urge to tightly wrap him in her arms and attempt to hide _him,_ of all people, from the world; to hide him where only she knew where to find him.

"Do you plan to run? Do you think you can just step aside from what you have signed and pledged you're self to?" Every word was a jagged blade in my heart, she bleed every moment in torment. _I cannot do this. We are bound._

"No. I plan to…" She turned towards the door and left. He did not follow as she expected him too and even that ripped her insides to shreds. She took to the stairs and followed the outer wall, beyond the outer gates and hid a moment we she felt eyes could not see her. His eyes.

Then she fled. She escaped the warmth of his arms and the care hid behind a begrudging exterior of his faithful servant. She ran from the home she had come to love and the smell of everything that evoked beautiful memories.

"You come to me? To protect what you think is solely yours? Do you think for a moment that I cannot see you, cannot hear the beat of your heart and his when he draws close to you? Come to me, little sister. I have been waiting so very long."

The last sentence was real.

I closed my eyes and followed the trap which she knew was so close.

"Who are you to judge?! I have stolen nothing from you! Leave me alone!" The wind was her only reply as it tousled leaves in the braches above her. "Answer me!" She ran. She chased the sound of nothing till she collapsed, gasping for air.

"You are very quick at running away." The air Rem breathed was acrid and it burned. her vision swam in and out and could not focus. Even when she strove to straighten her limbs they didn't listen and when she looked they twitched and fell under her. "I see the home you have chosen to live is rather elegant. A home I will enjoy much." Rem made her neck oblige, to crane up enough to see her attacker, but whatever coursed through her body now distorted life. The person staring down at her, with eyes as grey and lifeless as her own were warm with vim.

"Who are you?" The words slurred and she knew what drew her body into these fits. It was the same every time after all...

"My name? I have not used my true name in, well years, centuries… millennia's. I have a new name for the one I abandoned as I was in life. But you, you may call me Lore." Rem watched with watering eyes as Lore's hand came to her face and with a single finger, her nail bit into flesh. I tasted blood, warm and sickening and tasted what few knew anything about; if any.

The poison in this woman touch out matched hers. As Rem's head dropped, too heavy with sweat and blood she screamed, but her voice was silent. Her body no longer moved and she lay agonized in pains she knew so well before.

"You have immunity, perhaps it is a blood trait?" The meaning was lost to and Rem willed Sesshomaru to find her. _Come and find me and stop this mad woman... I have found her._

"He will not come. I am you, we are one and both the same, sister. We are Chimera, different from the world of men and above it. Maybe I will see how close we are if you survive."

The voice was so similar when close. So close to her mothers that she cried pains not from poison.

"Do you know why he will not come? Because we are one; split. When reunited we have a scent different from the one you carry alone. To explain, we cancel each others existence out in every way."

_Gods, do not do this to me. Not now... not now that I have him..._

And the last light in her world blew out and all was shroud in darkness.


	36. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 36

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I wanted out, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think and most importantly I was without Sesshomaru. He had no way of finding me. This, Lore, sister, chimera whatever she was, had my face, my body, but I was damned if I would let her have my love."_

"Sweet-nothings… does he whisper those into your ear? Will I hear those when I take you place in life?" Rem shifted the sore and pin riddle form that was her body. Every thing hurt, both inside and out. "Does he hold you tightly at night when no one can see? I wonder what his kiss tastes like?" She coughed the thick phlegm that clogged her thought out and hefted limbs heavy with fatigue.

"I dare you to try…. Try and find out." She wouldn't dare, this girl who had her face… She dared her to try and fake what she would never be; Rem.

"I'll take you up on that challenge. I wonder… do you sleep together, holding each other at night… or do you do worse when the owl takes flight?" Rem pulled her arms under herself to get off of the ground; it was cold and stank of things long dead.

"I wonder… wouldn't you like to know?" She scrapped her elbows along the ground and forced herself to stand up.

"How touching…" Rem watched the blood drip from her body to the ground. It was from her mouth and she wiped it away at her feet.

"Poison doesn't work so well on me. I have a rather good _tasting_ for it…" Rem's mirage smiled back at her.

"I noticed… I find it amusing that you and I both have an affinity for poison. But we came to them for different reasons. I am a learner… I strive in this… life… to know that is to be known. I know about you, Rem. I have heard your inner thoughts since long before. Before Sesshomaru, before the Lord of the South, before you learned how to work the grapes into fine wine, But always after me… always after you stole them from me." Rem watched as Lore walked around the room with ease, like stone and rock was no hindrance in this cave of sorts.

"Who are you? For real…" Rem leaned on the cave walls for support, never letting Lore leave her still wavering sight.

"Me? Who am I? I wondered if they told you… How like them. Mother and Father were never the loving kind…" Rem spat the blood which kept accumulating in her mouth. The toxin she took in earlier must have made holes in her lungs.

"Stop the rhymes and tell me straight forward." Lore stopped and glared. She did not seem to like having the conversation taken away from her. Rem knew that face more intimately then any one. She used it often herself.

"Have I not told you already or do you not hear as well as you have lived? Sister… I don't call you that for nothing. We were twins… well I suppose you can say we **still** are; One and the same and different in all ways, you living and I dead.

The world shifted on its axis.

"What…" Again, Rem's mind refused to work, the gears didn't turn and thoughts made no sense.

"I am your younger half. Two parts of one whole, you of the living world and I of Out World; a Breathless One. I need not breathe, eat to exist. I envision things beyond average sight, I hear the wind before it hits the leaves and I smell death before they die. I am the darker half left for dead at birth when we came from mother's tiresome stomach, the wise where you are dim and eternal while you are only fleeting. My Chimera, Ying to Yang, Heaven to Hell and Death and destruction to creation and rebirth. My sister, Named Rem or Amaterasu after the goddess in Heaven, sweet, kind and light-baring where I was named Lorelei, goddess of Destruction, dark, knowledgeable and unforgiving. Even after our name resembles what was forgotten.

"He knew…"

"A new name. Then… how about…. Amaterasu….?"

He knew then, Ichiou somehow had known her name. Even though it was old and forgotten, he gave her the same name as mother had. _Fate is so twisted and intertwining…_

"Was if fate that mother gave us those names and we became the women we are or was if fate that cursed us to be named such. Where did fate infect us with these lives." Lore stalked over to Rem, again the same as she did when she was angry. Father had often mocked me for it when she was younger about it...

"Get away from me." Rem stepped away, but Lore did not listen.

"I wonder, was it the mother or the father who started all this, was it the seed or the earth which bore us that we are what we are?" She refused to cough what little blood had to be remaining in her veins. "Or was it all just ill luck that you were born first. Would you be me if born minutes later? Would you be standing here revenging on the lucky sister for being allowed to live?" Her hand outstretched to cup Rem's cheek but she moved her face away. "So cold." Her hand returned to her side.

"Revenge? For what? Not being tortured and being withdrawn by force from the whole world, because I am different? Because you were born still?" Lore laughed darkly.

"Still? You think I was a stillborn child? Wrong! I lived once; in the light… you were born the ill one. It was mother that gave you life from my own! The cursed woman made blood pact with the devil for the life you so enjoy…" She took a chair and kicked over another in offering.

"Sit." Rem had no choice but to listen. Her legs would no longer hold her. "Born to die was what you were. Mother asked me… just once, if I loved you as my sister. Of course I answered yes. Later, so long ago, she brought back a man with her and she gave herself up, begging for mercy.

"**Save her. Let her live. Don't let her die away. Save my baby. Let her live, please I beg you. Anything you ask, I will give." **

"The man told mother that her price would be ours as well; a cursed half-life. Both mother and I gave half of what we were to allow you to continue; Whole. Blood drawn of love and love would grow. If hatred, then hate and so forth. You lived without restriction while mother and I continued half people. Our price to let you live was just that. Half a life; Fate would not change and as it was fate had cruel plans for all of us."

"You died…" The words felt like dust in her mouth and even so the admission pained her.

"Yes. I died. A year later when a mass disease took over; Typhus, killed many, I being one of its targets fell after days of failed treatments from doctors and blessings of priestesses. But as part of being the cursed being I had become, I was unable to die, because half of what I was lived unharmed. In you..." Lore placed both her hands on the table and interlaced fine fingers with long nails. "Mother was not so fortunate it seems. It is said after birthing a child all that a mother is, is given to the child. It seems that is true, because she is no longer here." Rem willed the tears that burned to come forward to stay at bay. She would not shed a tear for this fraud.

"I want what is mine back Rem. I want the part of me that you have. I want it back!"

Her hands slammed down on the table and the ground shock. "I will take back what I gave you when I knew not what I was doing. But know I do. Everything in this world I know. Being of Out World has had its good things. Powers I will be remiss in losing. I can read minds, speak over long distance, and consume knowledge by touch and others. I have assimilated the worlds everything, save one. Life." Lore stood from her seat, clearly finished talking. Rem sucked in a breath and pulled herself up and away.

_I have only this one thing... This gambit with my life on the line..._

"You can't take what I no longer half." Lore stopped her advancement in interest. A grin pasted on her face.

"Then I will take yours. The life only you have, I will take. Is that not fair?" _Gods save me._

"Why take it? If all you say is true then I pity you. I pity what mother took and what I no longer have to give. I will give what you covet and I will not interfere, but you have to fulfill a task for me, if you wish so much to take my place."

"An interesting task… and what per say do you require to give your life away so simply as that?" Rem sat back down in the chair and rested her head in my hands for a moment. Then staring at her own blood covered hands she indicated the chair opposite of her.

"Sit."


	37. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 37

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_This body no longer left like mine. It didn't matter that I held my breath with fear, but still I kept living on. I knew that food was no longer needed, that human feeling that forced one to consume to survive. Smells, things I never smelt before wafted on the breeze outside of the cave. My only consolation was that in the back of the cave my younger half went through pains of over poisoning. Something her body was no longer used to. My poor sister..."_

"Has it always felt like this? Every time...?" Lore's breath was heavy and ridged. After giving her the life Rem cared for so much was given over, Rem was left bereft of feeling.

"You're lucky... The first time is always the worst. You already have this poison in your veins and can fend off the worse of it. I have never been so lucky. Whether it is the first time or the last, my body will always near death. This time I already carried most of the toxins negative aspects threw... you just have to bare threw the last dredges of pain.

"_What do you purpose, sister?" Lore sat down that smug look never leaving her face. I took in one of the last deep breaths I would have to take._

"_You want what I have, life. I am willing to give you that, but for a cost. You paid a cost for saving me, now you can pay with me for regain it." The bleeding had slowed and only the taste of it remained in my mouth. "Sesshomaru... if you want to live like a normal human, you have to prove to him that you are me. He has to see you and he does me. Lie, cheat, do whatever you have to, but in one fort night, if you have not become the human that you were and take away what is mine when given the open chance, you have to return here and give me back what I have clearly earned." I couldn't help but feel like I had sealed my own fate when she looked back at me with those confident eyes._

"And you, Rem? What of you? Do you enjoy being a Breathless One?" Even in the backlash of poisoning she had a biting comment for everything.

"I fell... lifeless." It was the only thing she could think of to describe the feeling that Lore had felt for so long. "I pity you... having to have lived this way. I do feel sorry..." Lore spat on the ground, her convulsions becoming less and less.

"Save your pity." In this lifeless empty body Rem felt the emotions in Lore voice. Where before they had been as void like she was now, they had the power to convince with emotion.

"So... if you are no longer what I am now, I have everything you had?" Lore nodded, fighting with the life she now carried, Rem's life, to refrain from moving against her own will. Something that she had always been in control of. "No wonder you wanted out of your own body. So free from everything that it's painful, it's like I'm going to pass the wheel at any moment. I am afraid..." Rem realized that she spoke frankly like Lore had before and understood why Lore had hated her so much. She was amazed that this hatred couldn't have giving life with the power behind it all.

"You have to hurry. Sesshomaru will turn the world upside down for me. He will worry. Go!" Rem turned her back and fiddled with the odd trinkets that adorned the cave so close to the Estate. She wondered how she had never felt Lore before this, but she already knew. Together their existence cancelled each other out; Never knowing truly of the other, but always _aware._

"It won't be you he turns the world apart for anymore. It will be me." Rem knew she should be angry, in the moment if she had been herself she'd have beaten Lore with every ounce of power she had. But now there was nothing. Rem could not even weep. "I hope you enjoyed your life Rem. I will enjoy the rest of it for you..." Lore stepped into the light and cried for things she did not understand. Even the light loved her, it lit her whole being up like a beacon of hope and there Rem stayed; in the shadows.

Alone. Completely alone. And if things went in Lore's favour Rem would be this way for eternity.

"You are too cruel Fate. Too cruel to people." And Rem sat down in the chair Lore had occupied with fingers laced together.

"The light is so warm... these sounds are so... hollow though. I cannot smell the things I did once. I feel vulnerable. I feel that at any moment I will die here..." Lore stopped outside the gate and leaned on the place Rem had only hours before, unaware. "It can feel deaths little harbingers in the shadows, but I don't know if my time is now or not, before I would have known. Before I knew I was not able to be carried away by them. I am afraid of what I can no longer see." Unsure of things as simple as balance on the earth and feel of pebbles underfoot that when the little toad demon and servant of Sesshomaru came to her she almost jumped out of her skin.

"Rem! Where did you go? Why are you out here like this?" He pulled at the clothes Rem had once worn and Lore yanked them back. She knew this little demon was Sesshomaru's favored servant, but she hated it when pulled at her. Jaken's little hands were too similar to Hell's Pallbearers.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me. I have felt unwell. I think I need to rest." Jaken returned his hand to his side and puffed up with 'Rem's' lack of politeness then stalked off and waited by the door. Lore couldn't understand how her sister allowed this little demon's gangly and gross fingers ever to touch her, but for the sake of taking back like, Lore would make do.

_Such a beautiful estate... _Lore passed the Inner gate and gazed with new eyes what things she would enjoy.

"_Take heed, Lore; I will be watching you. If for a moment, you destroy the happiness in that home once you enter it, I will take back what I have temporarily gifted you with and make sure neither of us can live." _

"Already used to such a delicate art are we? Get used to it, because you will have a long time to enjoy it, sister." Lore stepped through the threshold and into the estate, Sesshomaru was not waiting for her. _You seem to put too much faith into your little demon, Rem._

"Jaken. Where might I find Sesshomaru?" Jaken paused a moment and watched Lore with a glance of appraisal.

"Perhaps in his study... Why?" She did not answer and took towards the stairs. To Lore, Jaken was not someone she had to compete with, just Sesshomaru.

As Lore walked down the halls she did not know, she stopped at an open door. She could no longer feel impressions left by people just by touching them like she could before. Having lost her faculties to Rem, she would have to maintain the aura of Rem until she could mimic her without fail. Research was need.

"_The room which you will sleep is the fourth last door on the left of the third floor. You will find Sesshomaru mostly in his study which is the last door on the same level. I will give you the basic to win like layouts and such, but the rest is up to you." _

Lore scoffed. _You're literally giving me everything I need to win. Fool. _She took Rem's advice and proceeded to the bedroom then choked. The poison still had not run its full coarse so she would have to rest.

"This... this is your room? You sleep with him! The same room... have you no shame sister? Mother is burning even in hell." Lore pressed her-self to the wall, like everything in the room was a concealed weapon that could kill.

_You will and sleep with the Lord of the West lands, a demon of frightening power and you do this without care? Do you not fear from your life here? There is no servants other than that little cretin... how do you eat, how you live with no contact with your fellow man? You have no contact with the outside world! Even while dead I never laid with demon! You cast you fate to the wind and survive? How!?_

"_Because I live sister, is why I do things you do not. You said so you're self, we are polar opposites, destined to forever to oppose each other. Do you know why I gave you that chance to live, not without confidence at all... Because I live and you do not. Where you covet I cherish with every breath. I gave you that task to be loved and live in the world as I can. Do you not know why? As you explained already you can do what I cannot and I can what you cannot. So me being able to live, survive and be loved in the living world, does that not mean you will just repeat the life you already had?_

"_I live, so you must die."_

"_I will survive while you will perish."_

"_And I will love Sesshomaru where you cannot."_

_Then why offer up your life at all? Why? _Lore laughed at her sisters failing attempts to shake her nerve. _Who is the fool now? _And when Rem replied, Lore fell silent and suddenly as unconfident as Rem.

"_Because... if he will love you than I have no reason to take back this life. And he he does not fall for you, then I will have all the motivation to find you. Destory yu and take back what is mine. I will be coming for you Lore."_


	38. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 38

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I was not confident in my guess and hopes. I did not try and think for a second that if Lore's truth was correct, then she would fail. It did not comfort me and warm me in the dark cave where the stench of death frightened away birds and other animals, yet never bothered me in the slightest."_

"Is this what Lore has lived through for so many years? This lacking of life, but never able to die perhaps? Or is her existence beyond death? Something meant to be after death, simply in the wrong place?" Rem lifted her head from the small bed, she wondered at its purpose, as sleep was no longer required in this state of being. Maybe just to fill space and feel as close to what Lore was clearly not.

"_How do you fare sister? How is the living world treating you? Is it all you imagined? All you dreamed? I dare say I hope it is, for when I get it back it will taste all the sweeter for it."_

_._

Miles down and over, the estate was quiet and still. Only after a moment did Lore's aura connect.

"You are very cold Rem. Were you always so or is it deaths knowledge that makes you sombre, makes you weak?" From the cave Rem searched for Sesshomaru's presence. His aura was golden and bright, in a place no longer in tune with her body, she missed him and ached for him.

"_You do not sleep beside one another? I thought you wished to take my place? Did you not know my... sleeping habits? Or are they just too 'opposite' of you that you cannot accept them. Tsk tsk. I doubt you'll make it the fortnight."_

"Wallow in pity Rem. Your demon prince and servant will be mine and you will be left... for dead."

Rem lobbed a chipped plate across the room in frustration. _Sesshomaru-sama, please don't prove me wrong. Please... I beg of you._

"If you do not mind, Rem. I have a demon to attend to and a bath to take." She recoiled when Lore severed the link between them which allowed communication. She still had to know how to do so much while Rem did not.

"Wretched woman. Why do you keep these mementos and objects of a life you never lead?" In that moment Rem realized something had changed. She did not know; how could she, that the plate she had thrown was not Lore's. Rem stepped over to the plate which lay shattered in pieces and picked a sliver up.

"This is someone else's..." She held the glazed plaster in her hands and memories that had been embedded in its every pore washed into her. "Saints above..." She dropped it again and the visions stopped. Her sight was too focused and she walked out to get air. The air no longer eased the nausea which plagued her though... "How unkind." Fromm the entrance of the cave Rem stare at every nook and cranny. Her sight which should have been darkened and useless at night was clearer than her day vision. Everything was backwards in this life. Lore had the advantage of at least having been alive briefly. Even if only for a few years she had something to fall back on. This new 'life' was bizarre and Rem couldn't acclimate herself to it.

.

Rem sighed in the wind which should have frozen her skin and sickened the body. She wished to contact Sesshomaru, but that also had been a part of the deal made with Lore. She would not warn Sesshomaru.

"Maybe I need not warn him..." The thought gave her hope. She only wanted to speak with him, even if it was as Lore...

He rested in his study, head in his books. Rem found it interesting to see him without him knowing. He was so... peaceful looking when he thought no one was around. He marked the place in his book and set it aside. Lore was bathing and Jaken on the first floor. Whatever bothered Sesshomaru was internal.

"You are there. I can feel you somewhere. Both here and not here." Rem shuddered with his voice. It sent her body in to pain and ecstasy at once. The feeling one could not sense as human was too much in this form.

"You know? And what if I were both here and not? Does this truly make a difference?"

His rage was evident and Rem pondered the thought of being consumed but it.

"It does. You have changed. There is no malice as before. Before I track you down and find you, what have you done do be so calm and complacent?" Rem marvelled at his abilities as a demon. He could sense the difference in Lore and Rem in this form? Would it prove the same with Lore a human? _Please..._

"Honestly? I have done nothing. You say I am calm? Complacent? You are sadly mistaken Lord Sesshomaru." His aura rapidly changed to rage and it did in fact burn. The fact that inside was uncontrolled was even less unbelievable then the outer side of him which showed no change at all.

"Why are you here? What do you want?" So to the point, he was ever the bold one. Was it a wonder that she loved him? _Love him! I still love him! Don't fall into this state! Do not think that you cannot return to him! Fight! _Rem shook the feeling that was creeping into and around her; the feeling of nothing.

"I wish to watch. Both you and her. That is my purpose now." He seemed to know Rem told the truth or that was how he made it look.

"And before?" A pity she could not tell him. That before she had been Rem, before she wanted nothing but to love him. _You are still Rem! You do still love him and that will not change. Even it you must stay like this... _She wanted to chuckle at how much she was arguing with herself. It was almost disturbing how often she did this.

"I am here... because I must be. I do what I must do. Nothing more can I say." He was not satisfied with that answer. How could she blame him?

"What are you?" That answer chilled her like no wind ever could, it was a deep, penetrating cold that encased her, shrunk her and made her feel... lost. The answer pained her to say.

"Dead. In more than one way, Lord Sesshomaru." She could see this bothered him. The aura which was so easy to read as a Breathless One was amusing. He was afraid and forced back the urge to make sure 'Rem' was safe, but there was something... that else that held him back. Something which made him not so sure.

"You know who I am. Do I know you?" He surely did know how to ask the right questions. It was a pity she could not answer them as he might have wished.

"Yes." It was true; she could not answer as he might wish. But it was still an answer she was able to give; then again, the Rem he knew was alive and healthy. Full of vigour and love for him, perhaps one could say he did not know me; now.

He seemed pleased enough with that.

"You swear that you have done nothing to Rem. That you have sent no one and no one you know has done anything to her. Swear and when I find you, I may spare you." Rem grew terrified of him then. This force which carried over long distance and over tree and brush to the cave where she sat. That his anger was directed at her was a thing she wished to never experience in life as she now did in death.

"You have my word. As good as you might take it for. I have caused no harm directly or other wise to Rem. Nor have I meddled in any other way which would ... make her other than she was." This answer was enough surely. In that moment though she knew something was wrong. Something she had done was different. In his study Sesshomaru placed his hands on the desk and looked up, seemingly at her. His eyes never wavered and that gaze was all encompassing.

"Was?" _Dammit!_ "That is well enough." Before Rem could recant what she had said or do anything otherwise, he blocked her out like Lore could. She was no longer able to speak with him and faintly wondered if she ever would again. In life or after.


	39. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 39

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I wonder if the solitude and aloneness I felt was also different from Lore. If I was alone, was she with company? If I was awake, did she sleep? The 'ifs' were a pin in my side in the hovel in the hill side that overlooked a majestic estate in the east sky. And then there was my other issue... I felt that I was losing grip on the world. I felt like I was dying... but could I?"_

"Have you given up yet, Rem?" The gap between us broke open and she allowed conversation. Today Rem wanted nothing to do with her. She wanted simply to watch and learn.

"I am no in the mood, Lore... but you are here so tell me sister? Have you made any headway with Sesshomaru? Does his heart beat in time with yours yet? Does it race when he steps into the same room as you?" Rem longed to feel want she no longer could. She was void... of everything, but her wish.

"You could say that..." Rem wanted to know what Lore meant, but she just did not care. Lore let out a gasp as Rem closed the connection that bound them together.

Four days had passed since Lore received her heart and soul. Four days of being in this infernal form hating the sunlight, but despising the night even more. Rem did not like anything while suppressed in this body of hers. There was only varying degrees of distain.

"Will you be open to me today Sesshomaru-sama?" Since the last time, they had not spoken in anyway. Rem had fought with success so far, to stay away and to not void contract with Lore.

"I fear that should I win against Lore, I might not be able to return to who I was before..." And that fear bore down on her like a mountain.

.

The halls in the estate had become easy to navigate in the four days Lore was in residence. The last door on the third floor loomed before her and she ignored raging insecurities. Could Rem's assumption be correct? Had Lore in her ambitions forgotten the element to her revenge? Complete opposition?

"You need something?" Sesshomaru's voice rang from the other side of the door. Lore couldn't see what Rem saw in this demon. He was nothing special above being a full-blooded Inu-yokai.

"Could a moment be spared?" Silence answered. For all that Lore tried, Sesshomaru never had time to deal with her. How could Rem love a man that didn't even see to her? Was 'love' all it was made up to be? Was the poetry and books she read about this phenomenon all wrong?

The door opened and Sesshomaru returned to his desk and slide his books aside.

"What would you like?" Lore thought of taking a bold attempt and saying "You." But she didn't. That was not Rem's way. She hated having to fake herself to be someone she was not for the _sake_ of someone she didn't care one wit about.

"Talk. I wonder what you have been doing while locked up in here day after day. I worry." Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow.

"Are you well?" He was not the seemingly sweet man Rem pretended him to be. Had she lied to insure she would get her life back? If she was then Lore had no intention of giving it back. Not when the deal was made under false conditions.

_Do you really love this demon? What is so grand about him that you risk your life for it? Or is it that there was never a risk to begin with?_

"_Watch you words sister. What can I do or say when the demon I love is not what you love? I risk much for answers... and the risk? It is a risk that hurts to bare. But I will bare it never the less."_

"Rem?" Sesshomaru glared a moment.

"Eh? I am well enough. Why do you ask?" Over the distance of leagues Lore heard Rem's laughter and held back the urge to cringe.

"_Beware Lore. He is wise and on to you. You need to act more... or should I say less uptight."_

_Thank you for the help! _Lore rested her elbow on the arm of the chair and looked out the window.

"I see." Digging nails into the chair Lore screamed in her head. _Have you nothing else to say?! Have you no more to say than two words?! He is a half-wit!_

"What do you study in this room all day and night? I am sure by now you need rest?" The inner triumph Lore felt was euphoric. She could tell Rem's rage burning even without their link.

"No. Demons need not sleep." He looked away and gazed out the window to the main gate. The pain Rem wanted to feel would not come. She watched with detachment and longed to tell him what she could not.

"_Sesshomaru-sama... just a little longer..."_ Suddenly the barrier between Sesshomaru and Rem broke wide open and his aura surged out and washed across her, even in the cave. In the study Sesshomaru looked back at Lore.

"Who are you?" He was no longer content and even Lore could tell something had happened.

"R-Rem. I'm Rem, Sesshomaru..." In the cave Rem screamed her sister.

"_Do you wish to fail!? Sama! It's Sesshomaru-sama! Do not call him with such familiarity!"_ Lore shook with Rem's stark rage.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" His exterior fury subsided, but inside her was an ocean of confusion.

"You are not yourself. Not for days now. What has happened? What has happened to your dreams?" His eyes made Lore feel revealed and naked.

"_Tell him you are ill! Tell him you are... it's your womanly time! That the dreams have abated... for now"_ Lore revolted.

_I cannot say that to him! Are you mad?! That... That is person and not his concern!_

"_Say it!"_ The words flew from Lore's voice without contest.

"I'm not well... you suspected... It is... my personal days..." She prayed with every part of her that Sesshomaru would believe her. Else she would make sure Rem paid for the embarrassment.

"Ah..." Lore did not notice his discomfort as she dealt with her own.

"... I will leave you to your work... You must be busy. My apologies." Lore left without another word and ran to her room once the study door closed.

_Rem! _Lore tossed herself on to the bed and rammed her heads under the pillows.

_You have made a close call today. This will give you a few days more to become me, otherwise you will be found out for sure_. Rem was somehow unhappy with today s result.

_How does he do that?! How does he just peer into you like that and worse I know you would not have flinched. All I could do was wonder if he might have found out and snapped. How do you not fear him?_ Because Lore asked out of terror she could answer her without regret.

"_I am unsure, but I have never feared him. Even when he took me from the South, not once id I think he would harm me... I am not sure why. But so long as you do not give yourself away, like you almost did. I assure you, He will not hurt you_." Lore whipped a pillow across the room.

_How can you say that?! How can you be so sure?! I am not you!_ Rem wondered if she should give Lore the advice that could possibly win her freedom...

"_...You cannot be me. As I cannot be you. Instead of trying to be what you are not, be what you have driven yourself to be, what you revenge for."_

"Was I not meant to be you? Was that not our deal?" Rem understood part of Lore's fear. Of not being accepted... how could she not? Rem had always been afraid that others would find out what she was. For the first time she did not pity Lore. She was saddened.

"Then change the deal. Be who you are. Who are want, not me. I have been trying to be as you, like this... I cannot coup. Although breathing is not needed while I am like this, I find I am being smothered. Until this morning I realized my problem. I cannot be you. So I cannot ask you to be me."

"You want me to win him over, as me? You are confusing..." Lore guarded herself against such ploys and words of kindness; especially when the stakes were so high.

"I won't lie. I want you to fail. I want to lie next to Sesshomaru while he fakes sleeping. I want to sit outside so long that he comes to see me and make a dinner that he forces himself to eat. I miss him." A tear rolled down Rem's face and she jolted, this sent a power surge threw her connection with Lore.

"What just happened? Rem!?"

"A tear... I am... weeping." Rem touched the tear which was still warm at her face.

"Impossible. You are without emotions." That stirred memories in Rem's mind.

"No... It's not. I have been like this for near 5 days and I have felt remorse and fear. Sorrow and regret... Why is it so?" Lore sat up and clutched the bed cover.

"Do not lie to me Rem! I have your soul! I have everything your body allows to feel such emotions! You cannot cry from pain or sorrow just as I could not." In the cave Rem sat in the mirror image of Lore and she touched her lips.

"Maybe not... But again, if we are opposites, you could not cry for fear or sorrow... but have you ever cried for love? Did you ever experience love to weep for its loss?" The statement shocked Lore into utter calm.

"No. How could I?..."

"I am sorry Lore. I really am." And the tie between them broke.

"These emotions... this body also feels sorry... For what, I am not sure, but I will not let them stop me from taking what is mine." Lore steeled her resolve. Tomorrow she would open the bond to Rem again and find out everything Rem and Sesshomaru did daily and why. The plan forming in her mind was formidable and she would stop at nothing to win back her existence.


	40. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 40

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I could not understand this 'afterlife'... this Breathless One thing I could not get the hold of. Lore swore that emotions could not be felt and here I stood uneasy and bereft. I wanted to shake my sister for her insolence towards Sesshomaru... even under the... relations I shared with him, I never spoke to him without honorifics... What else was she messing up in my absence? And why did I have to keep reminding myself to care?"_

_Rem. I have questions I think need answered._ Lore sat outside in a wide open space facing away from the estate. The tingle which drew over the body when the connection was made washed over Rem from the hill side.

"I can answer only what I will. Ask and I might tell you." Lore swore under her breath. In her years dead to the world, she had picked up a rather furious aptitude for unlady-like words.

_Sesshomaru, I need to know what you and he have been through... He is distant and always quiet. Never where I expect and always there when I wish to me alone. Does he not have an idea of personal space? _Rem felt the upwelling of joy as she thought of Sesshomaru's less admirable traits.

"He does that often... But he is never hard to find. When I need him he is there and when I wish for solitude he will be nowhere to be found... Are you discontent with running after what trails behind me naturally?" Rem found much joy in Lore's trails and failure, but it was surprisingly fleeting. She had to keep reminder herself what the prize of all of this was. That she wanted her life back... That what she was right now... was not normal.

_As I figured. You would offer no help._ In Lore's little cavern, hidden from outsiders eyes Rem grinned.

"What do you want to know?" The void between us was endless. The silence which could only be found elsewhere was in the blackness between stars. Lore's response was a mild shock.

.

_Everything._

.

"It is a long story. But it starts before meeting him... If it was not for a few people on the way, I doubt I would have lived half as long as I have now... and for that I am grateful... Where to start... I guess you are my beginning. You allowed me to live where I would have died. Years later a poison was added to wine which would prove the down fall for mother and father and an entire celebration worth of men and women. Save for the Lord at the time and a few lucky survivors and children too young to drink." The memory was clearer and the walls of the cave shifted and mutated into the castles walls she once lived in the south.

"I was sentenced to death with my family. They were both burned down after and I was forced to watch. Mothers screaming voice haunts me at night when there is no moon... I was almost killed then, but as Fate has it, I would not be spared so simply. After The Lord of the South found out I survived poisoning he announced to me a worse death. I would be given a poison which would make me wither, make me shrink. The man who was asked to prepared my death lied though... Instead of the poison which would for sure kill me, he made a simple antidote for the poison which still previously coursed through me. When I would not die, the lord made me his personal food taster. I would make sure no poison ever met his lips..." Rem reminisced with the knowledge that at one time, this memory had hurt. It did not any more.

_What was happening to me?_

"..." Lore was not impressed in the slightest. Rem could not know why, but Lore's rage was almost enough to incinerate.

"After years of poisoning and living I became immune to most poisons, though I would still fall ill, I would not die of them. New poisons had a rather unkind start but it all ended the same way. After years, the Lord of the West died and his son came into his wealth. Sesshomaru-sama came to made treaties and caravan deals with the South when something went wrong. I'm not sure who did it, even to this day, but a new poison was set on me. Fever, pain and hallucination ripped through my body and the men and women who worked in the castle became demons in my eyes. Demons I cut down and slaughter without remorse or second thought." In the lawn, staring at the main gate Lore sat with fingers laced tightly. Her whole body was quaking.

"In my rage induced haze I struck down my lord after running him threw. I thought the demons were becoming men and women to trick me... I never thought, not for one moment their battle calls were screams for help and mercy... It was then I met Sesshomaru. Bold and imposing he marked me for death. He also has poison in his skin and touch. When he tried to use that I remember... I laughed at him. I was so far out of my mind that I no longer feared death and I laughed at him... I even called him a fool." The world Lore and Rem walked was the memories in Rem's mind. Even Lore was bothered to realize how clearly they were and wondered if she could have ever survived such a mental onslaught. But only just...

"After telling him I was no fool to die to such a weak poison he kept me alive. Why... I'm not so sure. I wonder if I'll ever get to ask now?... He allowed me to heal in his company and even found me a place to stay. This turned into another failure; poison grew uncontrollable. On touch my poison started to kill the healers that tried to take care of me. I was later tied on a stake and was told I would burn to death for my sins...

Lore twisted the hem of her shirt into knots.

"But he came for me, that demon that allowed me to live and even took care of me, came for me and brought me to his estate. He gave me a room and clothes and I did whatever I could to stay. I cleaned and cooked and did whatever he asked of me. Whatever he required I would have done anything... Any thing... After living with him for a while, I have grown... an affinity for him I could not explain. I wanted to be near him and run when he was close. It was maddening. Later accompanied with Jaken, I left for the small village just east of the estate. I was bound and tied by men I did not know and tossed like a rag into a tent with a man." From this point Both Lore and Rem knew and would find out more than the other cared to know.

"A man named Davien told me, to cure my poison and become normal, he asked one. Simple. Thing. Kill Sesshomaru. This I could not do. When I was released and returned to the estate I knew, I could no longer stay. I ran and in Fates twisted ploys I found Ichiou... I think it is so funny now... that the man I found to take refuge from Sesshomaru was the only man in the world I would have wished to never meet. He was cunning and sly and Davien as it was; was his older half-brother." She slid her head into her hands and started to laugh.

'Rem? What are you doing? Why are you laughing?" Lore was unbelievably shocked. That under such hardships, Rem could laugh and even more so, that a Breathless One, a being without emotions could even fake a laugh. But Lore knew that this laugh was not fake, that this laugh was true and it frightened her. With or without her rage underneath the surface.

"Laughing? Because Davien had been in my life since the start! He was the man that made the antidote years before that allowed me to live. The man that traveled the world to escape his vile half-brother and saved my life was him! Do you know he begged for my forgiveness? He felt that my death would have been easier than given the chance to live?" Lore's complexion palled and the clothes dropped from her hands.

"What did you say?" It was impossible. Lore searched the corners of her mind and found what she wanted.

"Davien. The same man who asked for Sesshomaru's death at my hands and even kidnapped me later at his brother sick request was the same man who saved me from death years before." Lore yanked a handful of grass from the yard and squeezed.

"Do you jest? Are you trying to make fun of me!?" Rem's sorrow forced jubilee faded with her sisters words.

"What do you mean? What could I jest about?"

"You do not know?" Lore now laughed. She raged, but laughed. "That the man, Davien, who was set to kill you, kidnap you and even force you if asked for it, was my man from the start?" In a flash Rem's mind focused and searched for any hint of a lie. There was none. "Did you know, that I was the master behind little prince Ichiou? That I made him send his brother to get you and kill you!? Aside from saving you though, instead of poisoning you like I asked, he saved you. An issue I will be remise to fix later... Did you know?!"

"No. I did not." Rem's voice was murderous.

"Liar! I sent him to kill you and he saved you again!? That bastard!"

"Again?" Lore stood up and faced the direction of the cavern which Rem sat.

"Yes, again! He was the man who mother pleaded to save you. The man that took what was mine and I felt it was up to him to give back. He lied! He said he gave you poison! I will kill him when I find him!"

"Sister. Not before I find you and kill you myself."

Rem shattered the bond between them forever. They would not speak again and when all was said and done. When her body was returned to, she would find the monster in Fate's disguise and end Lore's life along with her own.

The last grains of sand that remained of Rem's mind scattered on the wind. There was only a creature without life and without death in the body that was all that remained of Rem.


	41. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 41

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_Lore..."_

In the low light of morning Lore woke with swollen eyes. She could not remember if she ever cried before when she had fallen from grace and became a Breathless One.

"Today. I must do this today." Sliding out from the bed sheets she looked a moment at her image in the mirror.

"Can I do this?" There was no longer an option and although more than a week remained of her time in this form she was suddenly, out of time.

She was growing a human heart. It had begun the moment she had revealed everything to Rem. She had actually hated herself for what she had done and was still doing...

Lore walked down the hall to where the study room lay hidden behind a massive door of bronze and dark red wood. She willed her body to move closer, but couldn't muster the strength required to do it. She stood there, almost willing the door to open of its own accord to admit her into its hollow.

_Come on… come on… there's not time._ A prickling sensation crept up her legs and up her back. She was afraid

"Rem." That voice would always cause her to flinch. She did not have the right to be here, did not have the choice to stay any longer either, as much as she had tried to fight the urge with sheer will. To stay in this body, in this form forever.

"Don't call me by that name. I am no more Rem than this life is. I have to speak with you of things… that can longer be avoided. Please." She had dropped the façade of being human. Of being Rem. It was a life that had not been hers for many years. Feeling Rem fall past reasonable return made Lore felt responsible, saddened and fearful.

Sesshomaru walked past her without a single question and opened his study. The open door before was so symbolic to her… that she would never be able to return. To have this chance at life and when the door closed behind her, she wanted nothing more but to run.

"If you are not Rem, then who are you? You said once that you were her..." Lore refused to sit while Sesshomaru made himself comfortable in his chair. She almost wanted to hit him for his lack of fear. Like there was nothing to be afraid of. Perhaps he was correct in that thinking, There was after all nothing she could do to harm him. Other than the information that may irrevocably cause her downfall.

"My name is Lore… Rem is… I am not sure. She is alive… but not alive." She couldn't explain what Rem was now. She had never had to explain what she was before and frustrating to have to now. "Her body is safe. Her mind may not be so much anymore… before you do anything… allow me to finish." Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow of interest and smothered his anger.

"I am, was… I not so sure anymore what I am, but I am blood relative to Rem; her twin in all appearances." She knew she had to explain from the very beginning.

"When her and I were born, mother knew we were different. I was healthy and Rem was not. When she turned one, her failing health turned for the worse and mother knew, without doubt that Rem would not make it to her next birthday if even another week. Being a woman of moderate wealth she used her resources to call on the aid of a man with… interesting abilities. To save Rem, things were required. My mother, Rem's mother gave half of her life away to give to her eldest daughter, I gave half to her as well. This would shorten our lives by half, make us weak to illness by half and perhaps our luck was even halved. Almost a year to that date, I died."

Sesshomaru sat forward in his seat and Lore pressed herself against the door.

"I will not harm you. If you tell me everything. Sit." The chair was directly in front of his desk and Lore took it cautiously.

"I died… Mother left me in a forest to give what remained of me to the earth and the worms. But I did not leave my body. Hell's pallbearers could not pluck me from my body and take me down and away. Because half of me lived in Rem. I need not breathe to survive or eat. I need not protect myself from animals as I was no longer food that the living would need. I am not a demon, corrupt by evil thoughts, but I did have something in common with them. I lived for revenge. I wanted Rem to give back what was mine." Lore gazed out the window; at the hills of lush trees and the flowers that she could once again enjoy smelling.

"I was a Breathless One. A being beyond the grip of death and unobtainable by the devils and demons of this world. I had every power a human did not. We are opposites of humans in every way save for appearance, much like Rem and I. I could hear what could not be heard and see what could not be seen. So when I grew to know my powers and their extent I furthered myself and learned. I learned all that there was to know about the human race. Of man. So, when my family continued to prosper and grew in health and such, I devised my plan to return to this world. I plotted against my family..." Lore left the window and stare at the desk. She couldn't help but think about its fine making.

So like a human it was to try and stray from painful things...

"A celebration was held in the South to mark a new era of common wealth. Rem and such being well known for their fine wines would attend the party and gift the celebration with their wine. That evening everyone, but a few, died. The Lord himself, Rem, by pure chance and some others. I was enraged how a human could survive such a poisoning. Later after my mother was executed, Rem was forced to live as a poison taster when my second attempt to kill her failed.

"You see, the very man that took away half of my life to give her... I used to taint her. The Lord of the South asked that man to kill her slowly with a poisonous concoction made by me. He did not give her that mix and instead gave her an antidote for the poison still ravaging her body of the wine." Lore griped her pant leg and slowly twisted it in her hands, her knuckles white and her face pale.

"I did not know until recently that that man had betrayed me. Rem had in fact told me so, straight from the man's mouth. My failure then was demeaning and darkness formed within me. So, when years later of plotting, I tried again. You will recall this incident well, you were there after all. After finding out which poisons Rem had resistance to I dosed her with a very powerful one. I did not know though that she was a walking antidote now, but she was riddled with poison. Just like I am. Though I did it actively and she was forced only shows how very different we are...

"In the end she killed the Lord of the South and was not so much as injured in respite. She killed innocent men in her rage and hallucination and I saw in **your** eyes I saw my revenge. But you did not kill her. After even a demons poison failed to kill her I knew I had to change my plans."

Lore forced herself to look at the man she had tried to use to kill Rem. The woman he now loved. She was terrified and frightened not of his respite, but that as a human, even a human, she would be rejected like she had been for her life as a Breathless One.

"For months I could not find her. Our blood which sang of our bond was beyond my finding, until I learned just who you were. The Lord of the West, Great dog demon; newly appointed after your father's demise. I set my plan into action using Davien yet again. He was ever so willing to assist me after blaming him for my curse... He snatched her and under false information I sought her death again; she ran from you as I thought she would. I had also in my time found a young prince-ling with a hatred that burned for no reason and I knew I could use him.

"Sway him as I did he perform beautifully, but you came and snatched her back. I figured then If I could not win on your grounds then I would make the terms of revenge on someone else's. Ichiou's. After a first attempted failed a golden one took its place. She lost her memories and Ichiou was again in play." Lore stared into his eyes and his burned back at her. She was past the point of loath in his eyes and it stung.

"She ended up returning with Ichiou after believing what was only part of a lie on your behalf. And again you came to get her, but Ichiou's plans were no longer just her. He wanted your demise as was… that is just the man he was. He is only has happy as everyone around him is filled with sorrow and nothingness. He planned to ruin you both and kill her in front of you, but Rem got to him first. I assure you he is dead if it is any consolation at all. After all my plans had failed using the most capable of men I decided to do things myself. I haunted her dreams and spoke whispers in her ears and it slowly ate away at her. And as Ichiou had, Rem was no longer my only target. I wanted very thing that was hers and my targets grew to include you.

"Rem learned what language I was using, as you had, but she did not have the ability to lock me out as you had. We are bonded you see, a bond I fear cannot not be healed… She found me out after I put into her head that I would try to harm you. She fled from you and shut you out, and I stood waiting for her. I again poisoned her and brought her to a place I found to observe from a far. There we made our deal. I told her who I was and why I was and she willing gave, if not temporarily, the life she had to me. The deal was that if I could live and as a human, be seen and treated a human and prove to you I was her, replace her that she would hand over forever her life and take my place as a Breathless One."

Sesshomaru stood up and slammed his fists onto the table, his acid burned through the desk and smoke drifted out the open window.

"I was sure you were not her... you spoke different but looked the same. Only this I could not figure out. You smelled of her and did many things like her, but you were so very different."

"We are polar opposites in every way but looks." Sesshomaru glared at Lore and unclenched his hands.

"You are also both poisonous." Lore wondered about that. It was the only thing they shared similar that was not because of blood. "Where is she?" Lore closed her eyes.

"I do not know. I left her in the cave in the hills, but she cut our bond and I cannot feel her as I did before. She has changed too much."

"How does one win this deal made between you? How do I end this game and turn her back?" Lore took in a breath that tasted of burning wood.

"For me to win, I had to earn your love. Take her place..." Sesshomaru walked around the desk and gripped Lore's face, forcing her to look at him.

"You have lost. Return Rem's life to her and I will allow you to live long enough for Rem to choose your fate for all of the life you have twisted in your malignant attempts to live." He let her go and for the first time she realized she was weeping. She had been from the time she started her story and now it continued, unstoppably.

"I know. I know... This is why I came to you. I cannot find her to return what is hers. Find her Sesshomaru. _I feel she is far past just returning her life back._ While I was a Breathless One I thought for years I would go mad until one day everything just fit. Everything just worked… I had years to get used to it. I fear she might not be so lucky. We are opposites, as such what I can do she cannot and what she can do I cannot... I know this now. She earned the love of a demon Lord and fended off years of attempts on her life and I could live as a Breathless One."

The sudden clarity and magnitude of what she said unleashed a wide spread terror in him. **Rem could not handle being what Lore could.** So if Lore lived as a Breathless one than surely Rem would die one.

.

From the lower levels of the Estate, Jaken's voice echoed, bouncing off of walls and pillars of alabaster. When Sesshomaru moved to the window his face grew paler than Lore's.

At the main gate Jaken squirmed in Rem's hands. His little legs kicked and his hands tried failingly to release himself.

"Rem." His voice carried down to the gate and she looked up.

"LORE!" Sesshomaru leapt from the window and outside. His feet barely leaving a mark on the emerald green grass.

"Rem. Let Jaken go." She looked at the little demon in her grasps and looked back at the window. Sesshomaru watched as the malevolent grin pulled at Rem's cheeks, grayed with death and lifelessness. Her eyes narrowed and she dropped Jaken.

"Heh." Sesshomaru turned to the window he had just left and saw Lore standing there, the curtains billowing out with the wind. In a moments breath Rem stood in front of Lore blocking Sesshomaru view, the curtains falling back in place and he could no longer see anything of either Lore or Rem.


	42. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 42

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

"_I... I..."_

"The fate that bound her to its heels and left tricks along the path behind it... It was her. All along it was her. The poisoning which killed her parents, the kidnap which lead to torture and memory loss. And now, a wondering corpse with nothing to need, nothing to want." She took in fake breaths. I needed her to say **"I need to consume to live! I need to breathe to exist! I must love to continue! Give it back!" **I needed her to fight. I knew she would not hear and respond. She had forever let go of the bond between them. Like a baby bird in the giant hands of a child, unaware of life; she squeezed everything out."

"I have come for you Lore..."

The grass had stained her hands as Lore dug her nails into her palms. She did it to stop the cry from a connection broke. It was like being severed from an arm, but more... if she had to explain it like a human. It was like having ones lover massacred and bloodied before them.

"Rem." She spun around so fast that her feet slipped on the grass she unknowing to her shredded all over.

"Sesshomaru...s-sama. Do you need something?" Something about him settled. He was somehow easier to speak with and gentle.

"No." She was without words when he simply turned around and sat down somewhat next to her. Her mind played tricks on her. His face something she had never really _looked _at was perfect. Carved from the master artisans of the world there was no imperfection in his skin. And his eyes... they shone golden with the world reflected inside of them. Was this the thing, this the reason why Rem felt overawed by him?

"Are you... well?" For Lore the world shook and shifted. The near week she had spent here and she had made no progress and yet in her moment of absence he comes to her. Then it halted, her mind getting the better of her. _Could he be actually inquiring about... 'that'? Oh my goodness he has no... no senses?! Or is he just asking how I feel... in general. Or is this a question with ulterior motive. Could Rem and him be?... would she have lied about it? There is no other need to ask about such a thing if they weren't... I can't do those kind of things!_

"As well as can be expected." Lore made sure to leave the question as best answered as she could without giving a single thing away.

"Will you be... well enough for this evening?" Lore's skin crawled. She couldn't imagine this. This situation was beyond her control. He wanted thing she could not give. Tonight of all times? Did he not care about a woman's... _I am doomed!_ Lore stood up and ran for the estate and without looking back she run the three flights stairs. Her bedroom door stood almost in light near the end of the hall. Then with feet scrabbling beneath her she crumpled to the ground.

From the door she sought to be alone walked Sesshomaru.

"You are unwell. I am sorry for asking such of you. Please." His footsteps sounded more like the chained manacles of a prisoner. She imagined his steady breath was the sound of a blade being sharpened for an easy kill. His paused in front of her and lowered himself. Lore flinched when he touched her.

"Ah?" In her frazzled mind, human and without powers of deduction like she had left behind she had not realized he came to help her. She was lost in who well-made he was. His lean frame belittled a well-toned body underneath and large embrace from which she now rested. Never the less her inner mind screamed.

_On my goodness... this is not right... let me down. Let me down... Let me down! Has he no shame! The woman how loves him most sits dead from him and he tots after me!? Carrying me around and asking for... those types of things! He is a beast and monster!_

"You are not well. Please... rest." He carried her to the room and set her on the bed and left. He has mistaken Lore's unease before for fatigue and her rage now for a fever.

"This is impossible... How can he be so absolute in his knowledge? He knew I was not Rem and yet... here is mistakes symptoms? Is this love? Being blind to everything but the person before you? Knowledge and education lost to the winds because someone else occupies you mind?" She was lost as to how any one person would want this and yet... in the human part of her which she shoved down and smothered, she wanted it. She had more us for a demon that obeyed without hesitation, but Sesshomaru would do. She would work him and mould him as she saw fit. The only things left that bothered her was how in her fear and ion her rage and insecurity, was she able to pass as Rem. His guard was all but gone... A smile peeled across her face.

"I'm getting there sister."

.

A knock came to the door.

.

"Yes?" Jaken stepped in and paused, his eyes had become sharp and knowing. It bothered her much.

"You will not be attending to this evening's meal I see. I will set it all away for you then..." He turned to leave and flung out a hand in protest.

"What? Meal." His suspicions in her grew.

"You usually make Sesshomaru's even meal. He felt you ill over the last few days and today thought you well enough to return to those duties. He just informed me otherwise." Deep in Lore tight clenched stomach some ting moved. She waved for him to leave while the feeling grew stronger.

After she felt he was far enough away she allowed the laughter to come out. It had tickled and squirmed so much she thought she wouldn't bare it.

"He did not want my body! He wanted food!" She muttered she surprise and laughter into the pillow and stopped. Her tears of enjoyment ended and she felt a cold that stole her breath from her lungs.

She knew. That outside the view of eyes Rem did not want to be see she prowled. Like an animal with its injured prey. Lore stood up and looked out the window. A gaze she could not see held her tightly. The message that could no longer be made over distance and thought alone was made here.

"I am coming for you. Be fearful, be frightened. Shiver in the warmth when my chilled hand rests on your shoulder and you will know then. That death has you and will take you away in my grasps."

.

Lore felt the hold loosen and dissipate.

.

"Had I been this frightening before?" And again the human heart in her made her pity. The woman that had grown a human was in a body that knew otherwise. Her mind could coup what her body could not.

"Does it hurt?" In the years her body had grown could it be that Rem could not? Was living so long as a human and then being forced to be some ting else... killing her? Would it madden her?... Was I crazed like Rem is now?

The thoughts would not allow her to sleep this night or the next. The pain in her heart that told her what she was doing now was wrong and overwhelming.

"I will not give in." The night was filled with those whispered words.


	43. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 43

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

There was no awakening from the spelled revival in the Tenseiga. There was no returning to life after life's last breath issued from a body. Death had not exceptions. Friend, enemy, family or lover, there was no discrimination from which death would not accept into its cold and eternal grip.

There were no pallbearers to ferry her soul to the afterlife. No holy intervention; only the cold which slowly washed over Rem's body was any indicatory of her passing. Her face was still touched with rose and eyes unmarred by clouds.

"Rem." Set into the only bed she had ever enjoyed and covered to her chest, hands on top the blankets. Lore stared with eyes red with melancholy, Sesshomaru all but silence aside from the whisper of his loves name.

"I am so sorry. I did not know... I did not know this would happen, this was not... what I wished for." There was not consoling the woman who could not be brought back with the only power in him able to. Tenseiga Remained as cold steel, no shimmer of light blue, not healing. Sesshomaru could not help but wonder that if demons existed and if so, if the angels would weep for a fallen member of heaven. He was not a superstitious man, but of all the people in the world, in all of people's lives that she, the closest thing ever to him could be anything less than his own angel.

Lore crept to her sister's bedside and gripped her hand, as if she held tight enough that the little life in her might not escape.

"I am sorry, sister. I was wrong to ask back the life I gave willing to my loving sister. You were always frail and sickly and it was I, a disease on this planet which finished you off... I wished you would take the life you gave me. It was never mine to have." Lore felt strange to herself. Like her skin no longer belonged was hers. Had it ever been? The only thing which kept bothering her kept egging and pushing in her mind was this.

When Lore had 'died', because of the bond forged with her sister, she had remained alive. Then why, her and now, then Rem passed did she not become like Lore had. Why was she not her own Breathless One?

Lore lowered herself to Rem and wrapped loving arms around her. She was sickened that only in death had she realized. She had never hated Rem, maybe jealous, but never hated. Envied, jealous with not being able to be her and be with her.

"I am so sorry. I can forgive me, if somewhere in whatever place you are and can hear me. I am sorry and I wish... I could take your place." In shock Lore let go, but Rem's body did not return to lie down on the pillow. She sat up and light shone under clothes ripped and torn from battling with Sesshomaru. Her very skin glowed warm with yellow light and the air in the room stirred. The light pulled from away from her fingers and up her arms, gathering over her heart.

'Rem no. Don't go. Not like this." Lore stepped away as if burned from the light.

"Lore. What would you do, if I said the life you gave me so long ago was no longer with me? Would you weep? The day I survived your poisoning was the day it left me. The day when in hate you ended the lives of our mother and father was the day I no longer had you with me. When I gave my light to you, it was my own. Because of you and only you, did I survive this long. I survived the very thing you tried to kill me with only because the love on the day you saved me was stronger. And did you also now that the life you have now, is not mine?"

Rem's words echoed from nowhere and everywhere.

"Impossible! How can that be?"

"It has been with you all along. Safe guarded by mothers love for her other daughter. The reason mother died in that castle that day was because she had given the rest of herself to safe guard the part you gave to me."

Tears again flowed from Lore's eyes and she crumpled to the ground.

"The reason you continue to live if because of her. She loved you just as much as me, never more, never less."

"Mother..."

"Sesshomaru..." The voice no longer echoed as it had before. It was a single voice that blotted out all others. "Your sword, the Tenseiga will not work for me. I cannot speak much longer like this and for that I am sorry. Do not weep for me, be the proud demon you were and always have been. Do not fall to your enemies and never forget. I have always loved you, although hard to say because of the imposing man you are, never doubt it."

"I understand." Truly he did not. He was enraged that a sword made to save, to return life refused to bring back soul to body. His given strength did not save her. His father's memento could not save her. Nothing he had in his power could bring back the woman he had fallen in love with. "Is there no way to return your soul to your body?" Rem's voice sang with laughter for a moment, bells chimed with its warmth and life.

"There are many ways. None that are forgivable by the goddess and that I would ask of you further. You have done enough to insure my place, my love. But I have run out of time here. I cannot stay. Be well. Lore, sister and Sesshomaru, dearest beloved. In that place where my once mephitic dreams haunted me are no more. Please tell Master Jaken that he is dear to me and I love him as well."

The sky bells dimmed and the light hovering over Rem's chest sparkled before drifting to Lore. Lore stretched her and out and the light settled in her palm. Ease washed over her and she knew her sister held no regrets and no grudge, something Lore had never been able to do. She hugged the light to her heart before turning to Sesshomaru. She reopened her hand and the light shot straight into his chest. The same light which had been drawn from every part of Rem's body now spread out over him and faded. It was a loving embrace that he would feel forever, there was no side of him she did not know. No emotion she did not understand. No love she would hold back.

Crossing the room to Rem's side he bent at the waist and pressed his lips to hers. His right hand gripped Rem's warm hand while the other pushed back her wavy hair from her face.

"Do not leave me." His words were too low for Lore to have heard and he let go and grabbed the doorknob to leave. The gasp of surprise made him stop, but he could not forced his body to turn back to look on her face again. The face of his guardian angel, his opposite. Her light to his shadow.

An arm wrapped around him from behind but he could not look at the hands which gripped his shirt. A head rested at the small of his back and his breath caught in his throat, he feared if he moved, this apparition of Rem would fade and he would be absolutely alone. The smell of open fields and flowers of every kind wafted into the room and he felt the warmth of those hands and closed eyes refusing to even allow the words that his mind spoke to him. That single name which would hollow him and leave him empty if he turned and found the pull of his clothes, the smell and warmth were but the suns light and the wind.

"And if I said I had no intentions of doing so?" The warmth receded then reformed as two hands on his chest, gently pushing against him before warm sweet lips touched his. "Say it." Again his fears pulled at him, as if he said her name she would disappear for ever.

"Rem." A chuckled sent warm air against his neck and he opened eyes to the only sight that would make him happy. The only thing in the world and otherwise which he would utter the words that one would say when in love and he knew that he was.

"You don't want to ask me how?" She smiled in a way he never seen before and he felt a smile of his own form. "Because of you. Where my mother and sister once gave a part of themselves to me, you have also. Your blood runs through my veins, your thought and dreams as clear to me as if they were my own. Your demons blood allows me to live now. Do you regret?" His eyes gentled and Rem turned to a pale and stunned sister. "You on the other hand are in trouble." Lore made herself stand strong and face her consequences for her deeds. "You can no longer return to the woman you were, A breathless One's life is no longer a path that you can follow. The life mother held on to is now open to you, but it will not be easy. You have lived without emotion and without consequences for too long and adjusting now will be difficult, but I know one man which can help you, as he always has. You will meet him one day soon." Lore slumped to the floor sniveling like a child.

"You knew didn't you? You knew I was no longer with you and you still gave me a chance to live. You gave me more than I ever did you." Rem knelt and lifter her sister's face then flicked her in the nose.

"Of course I have. I am your older sister, but you looked out for me long before I did you. So I think we are even." Lore bawled without care as to what she looked like. Rem's arms wrapping around her face in their first embrace since childhood.

"Sesshomaru?" Rem cranked her head to see him; his face was no longer the emotionless expression he used daily. "I do remember you. I remember that I love you and I remember my friend Jaken and my sister Lorelei. I remember that I signed a paper indicating that I am yours and you mine and before I lose the confidence to say so. I love you. I love you all." A faint light shown and Rem stood to look in the mirror one the closet door.

Pale marking formed on her face, hands and eyes. Sesshomaru appeared behind her hand trailed a finger along the marks made by his demon blood. Although lighter in color than his, pale streaks like his now caressed her face.

"I will have to get used to these..." She to traced the light magenta strips at her cheeks and hands and stared at the marks above her eyes, but the one she smiled at most was the one above her brow. It was not a moon, blue and elegant as Sesshomaru's. On her forehead formed a golden sphere. The mark of the sun.

"I was named Amaterasu... perhaps mother seen more than just a name in us sister." And on Lorelei's forehead shone a single tear shaped drop.

"Perhaps we have a destined fate other than what we know?" Lorelei touched her finger on her head and smiled.

"I think so Amaterasu. I will leave you now. I feel I have to find that certain some one you spoke of, I wish to meet him now." And she left.

The sun began to set and the sky darkened into twilight, but the sun had just rose in the lives of those who resided in a solemn estate in the West.


	44. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 44

Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance

There was no awakening from the spelled revival in the Tenseiga. There was no returning to life after life's last breath issued from a body. Death had not exceptions. Friend, enemy, family or lover, there was no discrimination from which death would not accept into its cold and eternal grip.

There were no pallbearers to ferry her soul to the afterlife. No holy intervention; only the cold which slowly washed over Rem's body was any indicatory of her passing. Her face was still touched with rose and eyes unmarred by clouds.

"Rem." Set into the only bed she had ever enjoyed and covered to her chest, hands on top the blankets. Lore stared with eyes red with melancholy, Sesshomaru all but silence aside from the whisper of his loves name.

"I am so sorry. I did not know... I did not know this would happen, this was not... what I wished for." There was not consoling the woman who could not be brought back with the only power in him able to. Tenseiga remained as cold steel, no shimmer of light blue, not healing. Sesshomaru could not help but wonder that if demons existed and if so, if the angels would weep for a fallen member of heaven. He was not a superstitious man, but of all the people in the world, in all of people's lives that she, the closest thing ever to him could be anything less than his own angel.

Lore crept to her sister's bedside and gripped her hand, as if she held tight enough that the little life in her might not escape.

"I am sorry, sister. I was wrong to ask back the life I gave willing to my loving sister. You were always frail and sickly and it was I, a disease on this planet which finished you off... I wished you would take the life you gave me. It was never mine to have." Lore felt strange to herself. Like her skin no longer belonged was hers. Had it ever been? The only thing which kept bothering her kept egging and pushing in her mind was this.

When Lore had 'died', because of the bond forged with her sister, she had remained alive. Then why, her and now, then Rem passed did she not become like Lore had. Why was she not her own Breathless One?

Lore lowered herself to Rem and wrapped loving arms around her. She was sickened that only in death had she realized; She had never hated Rem, maybe jealous, but never hated. Envied, jealous with not being able to be her and be with her.

"I am so sorry. I can forgive me, if somewhere in whatever place you are and can hear me. I am sorry and I wish... I could take your place." In shock Lore let go, but Rem's body did not return to lie down on the pillow. She sat up and light shone under clothes ripped and torn from battling with Sesshomaru. Her very skin glowed warm with yellow light and the air in the room stirred. The light pulled from away from her fingers and up her arms, gathering over her heart.

'Rem no. Don't go. Not like this." Lore stepped away as if burned from the light.

"Lore. What would you do, if I said the life you gave me so long ago was no longer with me? Would you weep? The day I survived your poisoning was the day it left me. The day when in hate you ended the lives of our mother and father was the day I no longer had you with me. When I gave my light to you, it was my own. Because of you and only you, did I survive this long. I survived the very thing you tried to kill me with only because the love on the day you saved me was stronger. And did you also now that the life you have now, is not mine?"

Rem's words echoed from nowhere and everywhere.

"Impossible! How can that be?"

"It has been with you all along. Safe guarded by mothers love for her other daughter. The reason mother died in that castle that day was because she had given the rest of herself to safe guard the part you gave to me."

Tears again flowed from Lore's eyes and she crumpled to the ground.

"The reason you continue to live if because of her. She loved you just as much as me, never more, never less."

"Mother..."

"Sesshomaru..." The voice no longer echoed as it had before. It was a single voice that blotted out all others. "Your sword, the Tenseiga will not work for me. I cannot speak much longer like this and for that I am sorry. Do not weep for me, be the proud demon you were and always have been. Do not fall to your enemies and never forget. I have always loved you, although hard to say because of the imposing man you are, never doubt it."

"I understand." Truly he did not. He was enraged that a sword made to save, to return life refused to bring back soul to body. His given strength did not save her. His father's memento could not save her. Nothing he had in his power could bring back the woman he had fallen in love with. "Is there no way to return your soul to your body?" Rem's voice sang with laughter for a moment, bells chimed with its warmth and life.

"There are many ways. None that are forgivable by the goddess and that I would ask of you further. You have done enough to insure my place, my love. But I have run out of time here. I cannot stay. Be well. Lore, sister and Sesshomaru, dearest beloved. In that place where my once mephitic dreams haunted me are no more. Please tell Master Jaken that he is dear to me and I love him as well."

The sky bells dimmed and the light hovering over Rem's chest sparkled before drifting to Lore. Lore stretched her and out and the light settled in her palm. Ease washed over her and she knew her sister held no regrets and no grudge, something Lore had never been able to do. She hugged the light to her heart before turning to Sesshomaru. She reopened her hand and the light shot straight into his chest. The same light which had been drawn from every part of Rem's body now spread out over him and faded. It was a loving embrace that he would feel forever, there was no side of him she did not know. No emotion she did not understand. No love she would hold back.

Crossing the room to Rem's side he bent at the waist and pressed his lips to hers. His right hand gripped Rem's warm hand while the other pushed back her wavy hair from her face.

"Do not leave me." His words were to low for Lore to have heard and he let go and grabbed the doorknob to leave. The gasp of surprise made him stop, but he could not forced his body to turn back to look on her face again. The face of his guardian angel, his opposite. Her light to his shadow.

An arm wrapped around him from behind but he could not look at the hands which gripped his shirt. A head rested at the small of his back and his breath caught in his throat, he feared if he moved, this apparition of Rem would fade and he would be absolutely alone. The smell of open fields and flowers of every kind wafted into the room and he felt the warmth of those hands and closed eyes refusing to even allow the words that his mind spoke to him. That single name which would hollow him and leave him empty if he turned and found the pull of his clothes, the smell and warmth were but the suns light and the wind.

"And if I said I had no intentions of doing so?" The warmth receded then reformed as two hands on his chest, gently pushing against him before warm sweet lips touched his. "Say it." Again his fears pulled at him, as if he said her name she would disappear for ever.

"Rem." A chuckled sent warm air against his neck and he opened eyes to the only sight that would make him happy. The only thing in the world and otherwise which he would utter the words that one would say when in love and he knew that he was.

"You don't want to ask me how?" She smiled in a way he never seen before and he felt a smile of his own form. "Because of you. Where my mother and sister once gave a part of themselves to me, you have also. Your blood runs through my veins, your thought and dreams as clear to me as if they were my own. Your demons blood allows me to live now. Do you regret?" His eyes gentled and Rem turned to a pale and stunned sister. "You on the other hand are in trouble." Lore made herself stand strong and face her consequences for her deeds. "You can no longer return to the woman you were, A breathless One's life is no longer a path that you can follow. The life mother held on to is now open to you, but it will not be easy. You have lived without emotion and without consequences for too long and adjusting now will be difficult, but I know one man which can help you, as he always has. You will meet him one day soon." Lore slumped to the floor sniveling like a child.

"You knew didn't you? You knew I was no longer with you and you still gave me a chance to live. You gave me more than I ever did you." Rem knelt and lifter her sister's face then flicked her in the nose.

"Of course I have. I am your older sister, but you looked out for me long before I did you. So I think we are even." Lore bawled without care as to what she looked like. Rem's arms wrapping around her face in their first embrace since childhood.

"Sesshomaru?" Rem cranked her head to see him; his face was no longer the emotionless expression he used daily. "I do remember you. I remember that I love you and I remember my friend Jaken and my sister Lorelei. I remember that I signed a paper indicating that I am yours and you mine and before I lose the confidence to say so. I love you. I love you all." A faint light shown and Rem stood to look in the mirror one the closet door.

Pale marking formed on her face, hands and eyes. Sesshomaru appeared behind her hand trailed a finger along the marks made by his demon blood. Although lighter in color than his, pale streaks like his now caressed her face.

"I will have to get used to these..." She to traced the light magenta strips at her cheeks and hands and stared at the marks above her eyes, but the one she smiled at most was the one above her brow. It was not a moon, blue and elegant as Sesshomaru's. On her forehead formed a golden sphere. The mark of the sun.

"I was named Amaterasu... perhaps mother seen more than just a name in us sister." And on Lorelei's forehead shone a single tear shaped drop.

"Perhaps we have a destined fate other than what we know?" Lorelei touched her finger on her head and smiled.

"I think so, Amaterasu. I will leave you now. I feel I have to find that certain someone you spoke of, I wish to meet him now." And she left.

The sun began to set and the sky darkened into twilight, but the sun had just rose in the lives of those who resided in a solemn estate in the West.


	45. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 45

**Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance**

In the 300 years since my past and present had collided with explosive shock, things had settled. I lived in the estate with Sesshomaru by my side along with Jaken. He was my loyal friend and Sesshomaru was more than I could have asked for in any life. Since Lore had left I had not seen or heard from her again though I knew she was fine. I had grown slightly taller and leaner in some areas, the blood which pulsed threw me, Sesshomaru's demon blood slowed the how I aged and in the coming months I would celebrate three birthdays.

I was rounding on my 323 birthday and my daughter was turning 178. She was a miracle I never imagined I would have. Jina meaning silvery was named after being born with hair almost white than silver, but she took after her father in many ways. Her hair one of them, but her most notable was her quite intellect which bore my sharp and keen words. She could battle her father with words and usually win.

Jin had been born in the months of winter and I could see her being the spirit of snow with her looks. Jaken had taken a liking to the child from birth and even though she troubled him with her actions and conquered him with her stare he loved the child of his master.

Little touched the family that lived hidden from the world in the west lands that Sesshomaru governed. Few outside the estate even knew Sesshomaru had a wife let alone a child. He would protect her from the very wind if it bothered her, he was ever the doting father and it pleased me in his years with me that he had removed the shell he used to hide away his better emotions.

Of the men and women met in my life as I said, Lore I did not see again. Davien was lost to the four corners of the world for what I knew and Ichiou lie in his grave for almost 500 years, China the better for it. But new people in the world gathered and new enemies which made Sesshomaru pace and sometimes lock himself in his study for days.

Even his step brother was a nuisance to him which Sesshomaru now blamed his brother, InuYasha for. A battle had waged between his father and a formidable enemy. However the he had walked away from the battle, but weakened greatly. It was perhaps chance or fate that his human wife was bearing the child InuYasha. After his birth a man in her guard killed her and set fire to her home. In rage Sesshomaru's father saved the child and his wife, reviving her with the Tenseiga. He battled and lost to the master mind which set the blaze from which he too fell to his death. His wife raised her son and Sesshomaru gained some one to lay blame on for the death of his father.

It was no wonder the two hated each other.

The other bother was a demon which prowled Sesshomaru's lands without restriction and was wreaking havoc and destruction where ever he was. I only wished that he would stay far away from the peace I had lived in and my daughter, Jin now grew.

"I wonder how long this blood will last me?... how long will I be able to stay here with him?" A hand touched her face from behind and she sighed, leaning in to it.

"Long enough."

"Is that so? Are you now some fortune reader? Have you been holed up in your study divining how long I might stall death?" Rem chuckled and rest her hand on her other reason to live.

"Long enough to see him grow up for sure." Rem turned and grinned.

"You can tell now?" Sesshomaru nodded his head gruffly but returned her warm smile. Even in almost 500 years he found it difficult to smile, but he would live more than long enough to get used to it.

"Have you already named this one?" His hand rested on top of her, her belly large and swollen with her second child.

"No, I think I will let you name this one. I can always get the next one." Rem grinned before closing the door as she left. Sesshomaru gawked at her, frozen into silence.

"How many does she intend on having?" Threw the door she laughed at him.

"At least ten...! Just kidding." He almost believed her joke, but then again... he wondered. It wasn't bad having one so far... he would think on it.

"Lord Sesshomaru... He is here to see you." Sesshomaru placed his hands on the table and his good mood faded instantly. Jaken shivered outside of the door from the miasma that swam around his lord's visitor.


	46. Mephitic Dreams Chapter 46

**Mephitic Dreams - A Sesshomaru Romance**

There was no awakening from the spelled revival in the Tenseiga. There was no returning to life after life's last breath issued from the body. Death had no exceptions. Friend, enemy, family or lover, there was no discrimination from which death would not accept into its cold and eternal grip.

There were no pallbearers to ferry her soul to the afterlife. No holy intervention; only the cold which slowly washed over Rem's body was any indicatory of her passing. Her face was still touched with rose and eyes unmarred by clouds.

"Rem." Set into the only bed she had ever enjoyed and covered to her chest, hands on top the blankets. Lore stared with eyes red with melancholy; Sesshomaru all but silence aside from the whisper of his loves name.

"I am so sorry. I did not know... I did not know this would happen, this was not... what I wished for." There was not consoling the woman who could not be brought back with the only power in him able to. Tenseiga remained as cold steel, no shimmer of light, no healing.

Sesshomaru could not help but wondered that if demons existed and if so, did angels, and would they weep for a fallen member of heaven. He was not a superstitious man, but of all the people in the world, in all of people's lives that she, the closest thing ever to him could be any thing less than his own angel.

Lore crept to her sisters bedside and gripped her hand, as if she held tight enough that the little life in her might not escape.

"I am sorry, sister. I was wrong to ask back the life I gave willing to my loving sister. You were always frail and sickly and it was I, a disease on this planet which finished me off... I wished you would take the life you gave me. It was never mine to have." Lore felt strange to herself. Like her skin no longer belonged was hers. Had it ever been? The only thing which kept bothering her kept egging and pushing in her mind was this.

When Lore had 'died', because of the bond forged with her sister, Rem had remained alive. Then why, here and now, when Rem passed did she not become like Lore had. Why was she not her own Breathless One?

Lore lowered her self to Rem and wrapped loving arms around her. She was sickened that only in death had she realized. She had never hated her, maybe jealous, but never hated. Envied, jealous with not being able to be her and be with her.

"I am so sorry. If you can forgive me, if somewhere in what ever place you are and can hear me. I am sorry and I wish... I could take your place." In shock Lore let go, but Rem's body did not return to lie down on the pillow. She sat up and light shone under clothes ripped and torn from battling with Sesshomaru. Her very skin glowed warm with yellow light and the air in the room stirred. The light pulled away from her fingers and up her arms, gathering over her heart.

"Rem, no. Don't go. Not like this." Lore stepped away as if burned from the light.

"Lore. What would you do, if I said the life you gave me so long ago was no longer with me? Would you weep? The day I survived your poisoning was the day it left me. The day when in hatred you ended the lives of our mother and father was the day I no longer had you with me. When I gave my light to you, it was my own. Because of you and only you, did I survive this long. I survived the very thing you tried to kill me with, only because the love on the day you saved me was stronger. And did you also know that the life you have now, is not mine?"

Rem's words echoed from nowhere and everywhere.

"Impossible! How can that be?"

"It has been with you all along. Safe guarded by mothers love for her other daughter. The reason mother died in that castle that day was because she had given the rest of her self to safe guard the part you gave to me."

Tears again flowed from Lore's eyes and she crumpled to the ground.

"The reason you continue to live is because of her. She loved you just as much as me, never more, never less."

"Mother..."

Silence saturated the room. All encompassing and devouring any sound that tried to escape.

"Sesshomaru..." The voice no longer echoed as it had before. It was a single voice that blotted out all others. "Your sword, the Tenseiga will not work for me. I cannot speak much longer like this and for that I am sorry. Do not weep for me, be the proud demon you were and always have been. Do not fall to your enemies and never forget. I have always loved you, although hard to say because of the imposing man you are, never doubt it."

"I understand." Truly he did not. He was enraged that a sword made to save, to return life refused to bring back soul to body. His given strength did not save her. His father's memento could not save her. Nothing he had in his power could bring back the woman he had fallen in love with. "Is there no way to return your soul to your body?" Rem's voice sang with laughter for a moment, bells chimed with its warmth and life.

"There are many ways. None that are forgivable by the goddess and that I would ask of you further. You have done enough to insure my place, my love. But I have run out of time here. I cannot stay. Be well. Lore, sister and Sesshomaru, you have benevolenly unbound me... In that place where my once mephitic dreams haunted me; there is only you. Please tell Master Jaken that he is dear to me and I love him as well."

The sky bells dimmed and the light hovering over Rem's chest shone before drifting to Lore. Lore stretched her hand out and the light settled in her palm. Ease washed over her and she knew her sister held no regrets and no grudge, something Lore had never been able to do. She hugged the light to her heart before turning to Sesshomaru. She reopened her hand and the light shot straight into his chest. The same light which had been drawn from every part of Rem's body now spread out over him and faded. It was a loving embrace that he would feel forever, there was no side of him she did not know. No emotion she did not understand. No love she would hold back.

Crossing the room to Rem's side he bent at the waist and pressed his lips to hers. His right hand gripped her warm hand while the other pushed back the wavy hair from her face.

"Do not leave me." His words were to low for Lore to have heard and he let go and grabbed the doorknob to leave. The gasp of surprise made him stop, but he could not forced his body to turn back to look on her face again. The face of his angel, his opposite. Her light to his shadow.

An arm wrapped around him from behind but he could not look at the hands which gripped his shirt. A head rested at the small of his back and his breath caught in his throat, he feared if he moved, this apparition of Rem would fade and he would be absolutely alone. The smell of open fields and flowers of every kind wafted into the room and he felt the warmth of those hands and closed eyes refusing to even allow the words that his mind spoke to him. That single name which would hollow him and leave him empty if he turned and found the pull of his clothes, the smell and warmth were but the suns light and the wind.

"And if I said I had no intentions of doing so?" The warmth receded then reformed as two hands on his chest, gently pushing against him before warm sweet lips touched his. "Say it." Again his fears pulled at him, as if he said her name she would disappear for ever.

"Rem." A chuckled sent warm air against his neck and he opened eyes to the only sight that would make him happy. The only thing in the world and otherwise which he would utter the words that one would say when in love and he knew that he was.

"You don't want to ask me how?" She smiled in a way he never seen before and he felt a smile of his own form. "Because of you. Where my mother and sister once gave a part of themselves to me, you have also. Your blood runs threw my veins, your thought and dreams as clear to me as if they were my own. Your demons blood allows me to live now. Do you regret?" His eyes gentled and Rem turned to a pale and stunned sister. "You on the other hand are in trouble."

Lore made her self stand strong and face the consequences for her deeds. "You can no longer return to the woman you were, A Breathless One's life is no longer a path that you can follow. The life mother held on to is now open to you, but it will not be easy. You have lived without emotion and with out consequences for too long and adjusting now will be difficult, but I know one man which can help you, as he always has. You will meet him one day soon." Lore slumped to the floor sniveling like a child.

"You knew didn't you? You knew I was no longer with you and you still gave me a chance to live. You gave me more than I ever did you." Rem knelt and lifted her sister's face then flicked her in the nose.

"Of coarse I have. I am your older sister, but you looked out for me long before I did you. So I think we are even." Lore bawled without care as to what she looked like. Rem's arms wrapping around her face in their first embrace since childhood.

"Sesshomaru?" Rem cranked her head to see him; his face was no longer the emotionless expression he used daily. "I do remember you. I remember that I love you and I remember my friend Jaken and my sister Lorelei. I remember that I signed a paper indicating that I am yours and you mine and before I loose the confidence to say so. I love you. I love you..." A faint light glimmered and Rem stood to look in the mirror on the closet door.

Pale markings formed on her face, hands and eyes. Sesshomaru appeared behind her and trailed a finger along the marks made by his demon blood. Although lighter in color than his, pale streaks like his now caressed her face.

"Those will take geting used to..." She too traced the light magenta strips at her cheeks and hands and stared at the marks above her eyes, but the one she smiled at most was the one above her brow. It was not a moon, blue and elegant as Sesshomaru's. On her forehead formed a golden sphere. The mark of the sun.

"I was named Amaterasu... perhaps mother seen more than just a name in us, sister." And on Lorelei's forehead shone a single tear shaped drop.

"Perhaps we have a destined fate other than what we know?" Lorelei touched her finger on her head and smiled.

"I think so Amaterasu. I will leave you now... I feel I have to find that certain someone you spoke of, I wish to meet him now. I have much to apoligize for." And Lore left.

The sun began to set and the sky darkened into twilight, but the sun had just rose in the lives of those who resided in a solemn estate in the West.


	47. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 47

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_The demon I allowed into my estate was one I knew without doubt, would cause me grief. I did not inform Rem of his visit and made sure that Jaken kept Jin out of eye sight and other senses until he left._

"Your house is gracious Sesshomaru. It is very well kept; you must surely have invisible servants and hands to help?" I watched with extreme caution hid behind mild distaste. There were few who knew what thoughts passed my mind; those did not include this demon.

"I understand you wish to lease land?" I sat down and avoided allowing my eyes to drift and wander.

"Yes, you could say that. I have needs in your well protected lands, which would help me greatly." I glanced at the floor which trails of miasma flooded around the room and to the door.

"Do not test my patients, Naraku. Releasing that vile air into my house is not a wise thing." The violet gas vanished under the cloak of its master.

"Very well. You have things I assume you wish to keep guarded. Your darling woman and the child would more than likely not take well to it would they?" I stood and glared at him. This half demon had been in my home less than a quarter hour and already he had seen into affairs and named them, that I would not give him what he asked.

"You may leave. My lands are not for lease of otherwise. Conduct your matters elsewhere and do not return here for any reason." Jaken opened the door from the outside to admit our 'guest' out and off my property. A grin hid behind his cloak, fitted in the image of an albino baboon.

"As you wish." Naraku stepped from the room and walked down the hall, I trailed behind him to make sure that if he did anything I would have suggested him not to, that he would pay. "Do you often safe guard humans in your elaborate abode?" I refused to be egged on by the little cretin and remain silent at his back.

There was no mishap as she descended the stairs and paused as Jaken opened the main gate. But instead of leaving he turned a watchful eye down the main hall.

"Young miss; I have not had the pleasure." My body revolted against itself and I jumped the remaining stairs before the demons hands reached my wife.

"Ah, you have a guest. You must be important to have ties with my Lord. How do you do?" Rem had grown respectable, but never the less sharp witted.

"Sweet lady. I must introduce myself. I am Naraku, at your service." He bowed deeply which was the only thing that kept me from tearing his head off and leaving only a stump at the shoulders.

"So kind. My name is Kasana Rem." She bowed in respects.

"You are a beauty to be hold. He is very lucky." I knew very well he was looking for a relation between us. I myself could understand what Naraku searched for, but the same could not be said for Rem. She was too proud of her bond with me and often spoke openly, ignoring future consequences. In this I was surprised when she gave a name other than my own.

"You are mistaken good sir and presume much. I am afraid that the relationship between is not what you think." With a smile that could smolder half the island of Japan she set her hand politely laced at her front.

"I see. You resemble someone I have met in my travels, I wonder if you might now of her." The name 'Lore' remained unspoken between her and I. Naraku was baiting her, but without bases, it would be rude and troublesome to throw him out.

"Does this woman bare a name?" I could not help but smirk at her play at words. She was very good at it after all and unfortunately had passed it to Jin.

"It I recall she is a priestess in a village some ways away. Kikyo is her name; do you bare a blood relation?" A stone dropped in her stomach, the woman was not her sister.

"I have to say I do not. I am sure I am no such person to be related to a priestess." Naraku grinned and eyed the strips at her cheeks and eyes. The one on her forehead kept his stare a moment longer than the others but he returned his attention to her.

"I would say I doubt not. I bid you good day, wish the child a good day." He turned and stopped yet again. "Ah, that was it. I forgot why the girl first came to mind, not because of your striking resemblance and it is acute." His eyes revolved and set on Sesshomaru. "It's the half demon that accompanies her; he is your half-brother no? InuYasha." He cursed his brother's name and swore to reprimand the pathetic tool.

Before I could tell him to remove his presence from the property, Rem took actions into her own hands.

"Anta kokoro goshujin koezetsu tamago akuma... Take care as to whom you speak and where. Mention the child and I will meld your feet to a rock and throw you to the demons that roam the lake bottom." Her nails extended and dug slightly into his neck.

"I see. I will remember that." Her jaw clenched and her upper teeth pushed down on her lower lip before receding back.

"You will need not worry of my Lord for I will deal with you if ever you step foot in his estate." A smile pulled at Naraku's face.

"She has bite Sesshomaru. No wonder you leave your protection to her." Miasma exploded from every place of Naraku's body and Rem swashed the fumes from her face. Although regaining her soul, she was no longer toxic to anyone, but she remained immune to poison.

"If he ever returns to this place, I do not want it with breath in his lungs." She stalked away like an angry animal that lost its prey. She would be hard to handle is he did not sooth her mood soon, but he understood her rage.

"I would just as easily do as you ask if was not already in my mind." Just as I would burn Japan to ashes and cinders so would Rem. In fact her rage was sparked far more easily than my own. She spoke her heart while I hid mine behind an unreadable mask.

"Jin!" Down the hall she beckoned her beloved daughter to her arms. Such a thing as easy to watch, but harder to do himself.

.

He found many strengths and weaknesses in Rem's personality, some where both. The way she defended her home, husband and child was nothing less than a mother's determination to kill any which stood in her way, and over the years she could defend herself _very_ well. But in the same way it was weak. To have exploded at him not knowing his power or abilities. I needed not any protection, let alone from my wife or any woman. The one other thing I found undyingly invigorating and unbelievably tiring all the same was her speech. As swift as wind she could be sweet and polite then next, spiting words that would drive a man to break her habits. I was not such a man to lay a hand on his wife, but others might not be so noble.

"Such words..." He lamented at his wife's choice of insults.

"You; Mind your tongue little demon spawn..." I sighed and watched the outside shut away as Jaken swung the door closed. Outside I felt the mingling pulse of tamed rage and knew I had not seen the last of the baboon clad demon, Naraku.


	48. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 48

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_Rem was in no better mood the next morning. Instead of waking and going outside to the garden Jin had insisted on having grown; this morning, before the sun rose Rem, stood in the other side of the estate, a sword crafted to her by Totosei in her hands. The blade gleamed in the light and fragments glints on her new enemy of the day. Already the stuffed mannequin was missing most of its greater parts. _

"You are up much earlier than normal. I recall those days when you would wake after the noon sun had risen." Rem found it fun to mock me in the years for my words. She had once told me I spoke too little and now that I spoke too much.

"I can feel it; the hands of that man on my skin. I smell him and I sense him prowling about your lands. If you do not plan to remove him, then I must." She lunged and hey sprayed, arching before falling to the ground. It was clear she was annoyed with me. Not a good sign.

"And if I said that I was dealing with him?" Truth was, I was looking in the background of the man turned demon, I was not aware that she had felt so threatened about him that she would take up arms to defend herself and more than likely Jina.

"Then I would say you take too much time. Find him, cut out his heart before he brings down the rain. I feel the clouds gathering Sesshomaru. They are dark and the potent proves most ill." Since having lost her abilities of poison and those gifted, if only shortly of a Breathless One, she found other ways to compensate. She learned and mastered some of the mystic arts having once said she felt naked and lay bare to the world without strength. It was most annoying she did not rely on me as that strength.

"Cut him down. You sound like a war mongering general. I wonder does not my presence prove safe enough that you must bleed for it." I stepped towards the woman the blazed with intense fire. She had not been so before meeting her sister. Now she was as apt with a sword as she was with her hands themself. She touched her cheek having felt the trickled of blood. She must have thrown her weight too much or something. She was cautious with the other life inside her. Perhaps what was where her need to smother any and all threats rose from.

"If I must, I will bleed any man or woman that would get in my way." She was ever so fierce today, but she was always easy to sooth.

"Rem…" My hand slid down her face to her neck and rested there. Her sigh of release was enough for her to drop her weapon.

"I have missed you." She confused me when she said such things. I have always been here.

"Mother, father? Should I leave?" Jin sat at yet another straw mannequin and my eyes glared at the weapon in her hands. I had been so very blind this morning to have miss this.

"Rem. Why does she carry a sword?" This nonsense was getting out of control. I could starve of any danger here. My wife and child need not bare arms for defense. The needs and whims of my wife were getting far out of control the moment she stuck a sword in Jin's hands.

"She should know how to fight for herself. She will not always be at your apron strings nor mine. The world lies outside of those gates. Would you have her weak without any knowledge of the world beyond a mother and father's grasps?" She had a point. She always did. It was infuriating that she did not include me in these conversations between each other. Women as it is are a very secretive band. In any argument Rem would defend Jin and Jin for her mother in return. Together they raged wars with words few would beat. If words could conquer, those two would stand at the pinnacle of the earth as man and demon bowed before them; I included.

"Fine." I walked away but Rem clutched my clothes. In these moments she allowed herself to show, if only to me and Jin, that she was only a woman and that she too was vulnerable. "You find that wielding a sword enables you? Is this what you want?" There was no doubt it was, she never once did anything she didn't want. In some sense, I suppose she a great more like me than I thought.

"Yes. I want the feeling of being in control and being able to control. I want to be able to fight and know that if I ever need to pick up a blade for defense, that I know how to bring any foe to his knees." She was very convincing and that was the only reason I allowed this woman who was better suited like most to be a mother and not a warrior goddess as I sometimes wondered.

"Then I will teach you, but Jin will not continue her training. It is absurd that my daughter now has such unlady like talents." Rem laughed, the only music to touch my ear and make me wish if only for a second that perhaps the life I started was not the way I wished to end it. Even if I had centuries left to it.

"Unlady like? *Anata, think so?" It was somewhat unnerving the way this woman could shift emotions. From bloodletting, fierce to a state of mind I would kill any other man if ever he saw. This woman was mine and as she often made comment, I was hers.

"Every day and yet never." I turned to see the smile that graced her face when it was just her and I. A face our daughter would surely jest if ever she witnessed it.

"Would you try for a third as we speak?" Even I was shocked when I said such things, but then her cheeks grew pink and she took my hand; she sighed. "I am tired... rest with me?" If I could believe her I might not have chuffed at her. I knew very well she was not as tired as she let on and 'rest' was not the most accurate word for what she wanted.

"Rest." She set the blade aside so rain and weather would not ruin it and did the same for her daughter's blade. After closing the door which housed other weapons even less ladylike she walked to the door. After her first child she had grown a rather shapely figure and it was not hard for her to drag me about at her whim.

"What do you plan to do with him? This Naraku fellow does not seem the type to just stare at your housing without intent, and you don't seem the type to just let it happen." I could tell she was looking for some

thing.

"For now, I intend nothing aside escorting you to your room to rest." The few steps it took to reach her told me she was not sufficed.

"Rest... I wonder what else we could do to pass the time? Perhaps we will give your little spy a sight to see, do you think a half demon can blush with embarrassment? The statement was enough that I almost wanted to bar the windows and have curtains that could not be seen threw, but realized she seen what she needed to see.

"You are very clever Rem. You should not be so conniving." All she wanted to see was if I had intentions to protect the house and the treasures inside of it. Her way of getting information was reasonable though. I would never openly tell her what plans I had, but then again she always knew them before I had the chance to consult.

"I was once a demon lord's advisor. I learned much as to how to deviate information from his iron mind." She leaned against the door frame, her face flushed. "I do think I need some time to sleep. I don't feel as well as I should."

.

When Jin was conceived Rem had been in good health. Other than apparently normal cravings for foods I'd never heard of and an 'uneasy' and 'easily' agitated disposition, nothing wrong had gone with the child up until her final term. In the last month before Jin was birthed, Rem could hold no food and became ill. I was unsure of what to do for her and could only sit idly by. Protecting her from outsiders was something I had no problem with doing and hoped she would see the merit of fighting unseen enemies compared to my pregnant wife. This new child she bore was different in how if affected her. Her sense of 'knowing' things was heightened to unparalleled amounts. She knew I cared not for the demon Naraku and that she had a reason to be wary of him. The fact I feared she knew that he had sensed them without showing face was insightful. I knew she, should she ever be in danger that she would feel it before it hit and I had not doubt that something was coming.

The onset of unease was heaviest at night, when the estate stood silent with Jin and Rem asleep. I could feel the probe of eyes, searching and prying for things better left unseen. Rem had once asked why I carried Tenseiga with me at all times as the sword did nothing but revive the dead. Other than that it was useless. What she thankfully did not see was that I carried if should anything happen and I feared it would. Something, when I was not near enough to help her of if it was too late. This fear which I could not shake had set on me the same day I realized I was going to have a son. Was this the reason for it?

.

The door to the bedroom hung open and Jin sat on the floor toying with Jaken.

"Jin, your mother is not well. Would you care for her please?" Rem chuckled; she did when ever I used polite words. "I can be polite with my child can I not?" I did not understand the humor in treating my child with care, Rem seemingly did.

"Ah, Sesshomaru-sama. You are ever the sweet husband. I do love you." Her words came like this too often with out warning, never giving me the chance to hide the insufferable rise of heat and a 'pink' shade to my face which Rem liked to jest about.

"I'll take care of it otosan." Jin was a dutiful child. She saw Rem's new child not as something to compete with, but someone else to help. That was Jin's way of doing things. Her brother to be was a member of the house she wanted to meet badly and she wanted nothing more than to prove to her mother and I that she was a responsible child and woman to be.

"Good. Jaken, I need to speak with you." I left Rem's health to Jin as she was very capable.

"Yes My Lord." He knew what little Rem did not.

When the study door opened to admit Jaken in the room I moved away from the window.

"It is not him who is out there, but someone it there. In the forest Ah-Un has seen a small child, white and silent. She is almost impossible to detect, it is like she is without an aura. She also carries about her a mirror." I sat down and Jaken remained standing.

"Child-like, and without aura. I can sense her. She is of Naraku... like he has changed form, but they are not the same." I left out what I did not know and that was a great deal more than I wished it was. "You may leave."

A white demon child with a sense like Naraku, but not him.

"He is spawning..." Not only did I have a enemy that I knew little about or what he was and what his purpose was, but he was able to split is consciousness into many. A small army of enemies...

"Jaken. I have a task for you, one you will keep from my wife and daughter under any cost. My interests I want kept silent. You will find out whatever you can of the demon Naraku. If it be small I want all there is to know about him." The sky outside darkened and if I was Rem would have taken it for an ill omen. The clouds had gathered and I could smell the rain that would come down in heavy sheets and wash the soil and air clean of any alien scent. Ill conditions for what I planned.

Jaken disappeared behind the closed door and he walked away, the sound of scuttling footsteps muffled as the rain began.

"Hunting made difficult." I had intended to find the while child with the mirror, but even with my refined talents I would not find her because she was gone. I could feel the moment the eyes on the estate had faded and nothing remained but idle animals and birds.

"You think if you flee the hunt will be called down?" And like the sky answered, thunder clapped and lightning flashed. It was if some where my enemy knew my intentions and was baiting me.

I only hoped the bait was in my mind and that my family and life was not being baited while I chased shadows and children in white.


	49. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 49

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_A week had passed and Rem's condition had worsened. Food was hard for her to keep down and her mood was just as bad as her health. The only one she kept herself in check with was Jin._

"Okasan. Is it really the baby doing this to you? Is he really that bad of a little brother to do this to you?" Jin may be 150 years old, but she was no different than a child of 13 or so.

"Yes, he is doing thing, but he is not a bad child by any means. It's just… difficult to bare a child. The baby is just requiring things of me that are hard to give… like when you want to train and your father says no. It's hard for you, no?" Jin sat at the end of the bed as I closed the door behind me. Rem's pale face and mildly sunken cheeks made her look far older than she was. Then again…

"You feel no better?" Rem sighed and pulled the blanket off of her and swung her legs out from bed.

"No, but I need air. I need to walk around and move these legs of mine. I can't stay bed ridden like this." A smile formed, Rem had not changed so much in the years of extended life. She had always hated being stuck in a bed when ill.

"I will go with you then. Jin, check after Jaken and see what he is doing. When you find him send him to attend your mother." Jin scowled at being told to be a messenger.

"You won't stay with me?" Rem slipped on clothes that began to tighten around her waist as her pregnancy continued. "He would like you to stay." A lie as obvious as it was, but I could not do as she asked.

"I have to leave for a short time. You will be fine while in my absence?" She smiled with a glow she carried once before, when she carried Jina.

"I will suffice with you saying you will return quickly." She slipped a shirt over her head and her elbow caught. With a tug I pulled the shirt the rest of the way down and wrapped my arms around her.

"You are always like this when I leave… Why?" It was like this, when I would leave that her face dimmed and her heart became heavy.

"Because. I just am…" She buried her face in my chest and refused to look at me. "Can't you tell?... It's because I hate when you leave. I hate when you are not here, with me." The rise of heat crept up my face and sheer will power failed, as always, to keep it at bay.

"Rem. I will make this trip most short. Don't… don't worry like this." She gripped the back of my kimono and twisted the material.

"I know. You always do, but I can feel them out there. I can feel… those eyes." I cursed her heightened intuition. The changes that birth bearing caused were most troublesome. Especially in my wife.

"Jaken is here… and I will leave Ah-Un. If anything happens. Anything. He will take you and Jin to me." She pulled her face away and wiped away the tears she hated shedding in her state of weakness.

"Fine. I will be complacent and listen to you." Something in the air changed and something dripped on my sleeve.

"Rem?" Both she and I eyed the scorch mark in my kimono. From her finger tips poison dripped.

"Impossible…" Her poisonous abilities had disappeared with Lore's return to the world of the living. Perhaps this was nothing at all.

"You are part demon because of blood I gave you… this does not mean you are returning to 'that'. I too carry poison… greatly enhanced by your touch, but I do have it naturally. This is nothing. Do not worry so…" A knock came to the door and Jin's voice came through.

"Tosan, Kasan. There is a lady here to see you both… Um… I think something is wrong. Jaken asked you to hurry." I glanced at Rem and my mind turned to the girl-child in white, but I had not smelled her… but I had smelled something before my sleeve had been ruined.

"A lady?" Rem was the first to leave, her curiosity was also worsened due to child bearing and as she and I walked down the steps in silence, I remained unable to identify the coil of smells and find out just who the mysterious visitor was.

"She is in the greeting hall." Jaken remained unreadable which bothered Rem far more than I wished it to.

"Thank you Master Jaken." As the door opened Rem's hand dropped from the handle, I could not see who stood before my wife and stunned her so thoroughly. I found out when I whipped the door open and Rem's voice choked out a name.

"Lore." The woman had grown older in looks than Rem had. Lore almost could have passed for Rem's youthful mother. Having life stopped in the state of a Breathless One had altered her time on earth.

"Sister…" Lore stepped forward and Jin rammed her head in between Rem and I.

"Sister? Mother, this is Oba-san?" Lore turned a startled eye to my daughter and then me as if to be reassured.

"Oba-san? Rem? This is… your daughter? Sesshomaru?" Lore stepped forward and closed the gap between twins and both embraced one another. Rem cried as if she were a child again.

"Lore. Greetings back to the West. This is my daughter, Jina. Jina, this is Lore, Rem's twin sister. Jaken will bring refreshments before we discuss why you have come to visit." Lore bowed and though no word was spoken. She passed on information as to why she had returned after a long absence. The name remained equally unspoken and almost taboo to even mention.

Luckily Rem did not notice in her joy. To answered Lore's fears.

"We will speak of Naraku later."


	50. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 50

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_It was not long before the Rem settled. Lore's reappearance had lifted her spirits in many ways and that alone was enough for me. On the other hand... the more pressing matter seemed to teeter on the edge. The same worries that saturated my wife in sweat at night had brought her twin sister to her. _

"Will your daughter stay amongst us?" Rem nodded her head, but I was not so sure I agreed. Arguing was not an option at the time though. "Then... I have news of a most dire nature. I don't understand how this came about or when it came to be, but the demon is no true demon. His plans are for sure evil if unfortunately unknown, but he is the sum of thousands. I hear tales of the human made demon, no name have I heard yet, but when I heard your brother's name mentioned when I returned here. On my travels I have not heard much else, but I feel a cold grip on the land. This demon has an eye out for members for your family. I fear your brother is in danger."

I ended the worry there.

"He is not family. He is the bastard begotten son of my father with a human woman." Lore looked surprised.

"He is your half-brother." Rem was silent, too quiet. I could feel my skin prickle painfully.

"Half, you have an issue with a half demon? Your very own child is less! I am less, do you then despise us for not being pure, Sesshomaru-teeme?" Her insult almost made me break my calm and she continued her assault. "Do you not see us as family? He is your brother!"

"And you are my wife, Jina is my daughter. Would you have me risk jumping into a battle between my half-brother and some demon and risk getting my family involved? While I trapeze around after my ill birthed half and while out have some ill fortune fall on you to enrage and goad me or my brother further?" The guilt of her statement was clear and Jin settled next to Rem in comfort.

"Mother. You must understand. Father... he is trying to protect us." Rem smiled like Jin was an injured animal. Something was wrong in the way she looked at her.

"Jin, darling, I understand. But in my eyes a half-brother is as much a family as a long lost twin. There is nothing stronger than a bond of blood. He should help is brother. If he does not, what happens when the demon after InuYasha kills him or other? Will he be happy with his success? I wonder could it be a family matter after all... And if InuYasha falls... or does not. What stops that demon from taking vengeance on his brother? Or his family? I worry not only for a half-brothers safety, but for my own and my daughter and my husband. You have yet much to grow and I will do all my life to see your life untethered of ruin." Rem turned an eye to me and I realized I was the one in the wrong. So often as it was she was correct. A very irritating thing which surrounded my wife was her ability to always be right.

"I will look into it. Until then, Lore will you be staying with us?" A moment passed and she nodded her head. Rem would benefit from her sisters presence. For the time being I would leave them to catch up, Lore had been absent in Rem's life for many, many years.

"Do you plan to fool me my sweet husband?" It seems I was not as convincing as I had hoped. I knew this tone much better than any and it would prove today to be the day or reckoning. As she stood up and sat beside me the blood flooded my face. Her hand rested on top of mine and she wore the face of a succubus. Most annoying when visitors stood so close.

"Rem... I will do as you ask. My word should be enough..." I stopped when Rem's hand tightened on mine. Her eyes had turned flat, lacking lustre and she stared at the wall as if her constant stare, the wall might give up some secret.

"Run." I almost didn't hear her in my shock. Then I heard it.

"Jina!" As I shouted my daughter's name, the explosion blasted away the words. Rock and plaster fell from the ceiling, somehow none of it hit me as I fight which what I should do. Protect my son-bearing wife or my daughter.

"Foolish half demon, spawned of lesser demons..." The dust billowed out the hole in the wall and my wife stood blazing with an aura of violet sheen. Her laugh that followed sent a chill down my spine. Jin stood unharmed behind her.

"Rem." She did not hear me.

"I will have your head, rotting at my table as center piece for attacking my family and defiling my home." I noticed then that her aura hovered over top every one present and not a single thing had penetrated her barrier.

"Stop!" The lines on her face, gifted from my demons blood became long and darkened. Her slender hands that were soft as satin yet strong as tempered steel clenched, her fangs and nails grew and she bent at the knees before disappearing before me. "Rem!" I could hear Jin calling out to her mother and Lore was lost in her shock. "Dammit." I was beyond fear. Rem's abilities where ferocious when enraged. Her speed was remarkable and her kindness lost to the winds. Her goal now was to seek and destroy and I had little time to track her down before the worst came to pass.

"Sesshomaru. Find her. She is in danger." I needn't listen to the woman that looked 10 years older than her twin.

After Jaken began moving Lore and Jin to safer grounds, I chased the scent Rem left in her wake. In the distance the sound of trees toppling over and screams nearly broke the fold on my own demon blood.

That was the way it had been after she received my blood. From that connection, Rem could tell most of my moods and if I grew angry it sparked the blood in her. If I could not control the urge to decimate my enemies here, I did not know what she would become. That fear, stilled inside of me forced my rage down like ice on embers.

.

As I rounded the next clearing I saw Rem's aura, but not her. She had become so confused in her own body that her emotions had been lost to her. Her clothes were torn and sagged on her nimble figure. Her breath only columns of mist in the frost kissed air.

"Naraku..." Her voice a rumble low in her voice. The answer a soft chuckle behind me and up.

"Rem, stop this madness." My voice did not reach her as she disappeared again, her presence now behind me. Where Rem once stood was the girl-child in white. "You are of Naraku." She did not answer, but I had not asked a question. She stood still and silent. A body I could not turn from to protect my wife else be attacked myself. I was in a stale mate, until the girl turned her mirror on me.

If I fought, my rage would pulse in Rem's veins and drive her further into madness. If I waited, Rem risked death... my options where never so dire and I hated InuYasha for having brought this upon my wife and her family. My family.

"What is your purpose?" The child never moved and I eyed her mirror which faced outwards, my reflection caught in its glass... and I was unable to move.

"To be present." I could not tell if she was lying or not.

"Why have you attacked my house and what does my wife battle now?" She remained without words and my temper turned sour. "Answer me!"

"Your wife. He wishes to see your wife and she battles him now." My everything, every part of me froze and in my lungs burned as I stamped down my anger. "Do not go to her. He wishes her no harm. Only to watch. If you leave I will have to choice but to act." My hand trembled at my side and the sounds of Rem in the distance were like the beginning of Armageddon.

"Why." Short and simple. If she did not answer I would rip her into pieces which could not be counted.

"Your brother and her twin. He has interest in them and so he would have interest in you and your wife." Suddenly her breath caught and she gasped. Gripping her mirror with one hand she touched her side and bowed. "I must leave you now." And she vanished. My legs never carried me quicker than now and I could feel Rem's blood in my veins. Something was terribly wrong. The sudden still in her mind as I cleared the next row of trees made me wish no demon blood existed in her. My step stopped with a word spoken across minds. I almost didn't want to see what had happened.

"Rem..." She stood looking at the moon in the cloudless sky. A scratch along her back, not life threatening, dripped blood. Her hands were in front of her and I could not see what she held. "Rem." Even my voice trembled, she did not answer me and as I walked in front of her my heart stopped. No amount of rage could overcome the deluge of sorrow that ushered down her face then. The tears were endless and silent; it was the face a woman wore when no one, not even her beloved, could reach her. It wounded me. Her face suddenly contorted as her distress peaked. Her screams of pain were harrowing and left me emptied and when she dropped to her knees I caught her.

I had seen what made the love, my life void of everything. In her stomach a hole remained.

"Gone... He stole him... He stole..." It was if she had become a Breathless One again. No emotion in her voice, no love in her heart and where once a child in growth, laid a hole ragged and shredded. Her eyes empty if not full of grief. I had no words as she passed out. She would remain alive, but she needed help now. Lore was well learned in the healing arts and Jin... I did not know. I knew not what would happen other than Naraku would regret this day.

A tear slide down my face and fell on Rem's forehead where my demon blood had branded a sun into her skin. Cursed blood.


	51. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 51

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_I could not look on her face. The life had vanished from her body and she walked with little more intent other than revenge. I was sure somehow that she would have it all well. Jin had been a constant in her waking moments after the week it took for forced healing on Lore's part and while the house was rendered to its knees, Jaken and I lived minute by minute in the study on the third floor._

"Will you attend to the lady today?" He knew the answer before asking the question. The fact my eyes could not hold back emotions better left unsaid welled uncontrollably. My child, my first son had been taken straight from her able hands. No proper birth… no celebration. Just an empty void where a growing child should be.

"That will not be necessary. I will leave and you will be attending as well. Matters have taken a turn which must and will be rectified." Jaken bristled at my harsh tone but it was all that kept me from joining my wife in morning. The thing which pulled most on my mind from sleep at night was what a human turned demon might have use for a child yet unborn… Some foul magic for sure.

"Does Rem know of this?" My eyes looked out the window which offered no solace today. The sky was gray and half my house lay in ruin… along with my family. It was slowly being torn apart and I had not seen it coming. Rem had… and I had ignored her. The weight of such thoughts bore down on me like I held up the estate itself.

"She does not need to know." Jaken nodded his head and left it low. Avoiding Rem had become his resolve to stay his lips against telling my intent to her.

.

A knock came to the door. Jin was on the other side, but I had not heard her coming. My senses had upended and I felt sick not even being able to tell the coming of my own daughter.

"Tosan… I have… ill news." I doubted highly that much worse could enter my ears.

"Come in Jina." She opened the door and a wave of silver brushed past her face. The fact her face was red and she did not speak right away drew my most intent attention. "What is it?"

I had never seen Jin burst into the tears she had then. It left me hollow and sore that I could not console my child as Rem could. Such was the difference of a mother and father and between Rem's gifts and my own.

"She's gone!" The words didn't compute.

"I'm sorry. Again Jina." She ran forward and whipped around the desk almost tripping along the way. Only my steady hand kept her up as she buried her head in my lap. My hand instinctively rested on her head.

"She is gone! Both left and I cannot find them." I assumed only that she was unable to locate them. Not that they had 'left', but when I ran my mind over the entire grounds the more ground I covered without finding them the more my heart pounded.

"Dammit. Jina… go to your room. Jaken and I will find her." Her head shot up and for the first time in her life I saw fear. I cursed Naraku and his ill choice in an enemy.

"Don't leave me here alone! Don't let me be here for him to come and take me!" Her screams grew louder and hysterical. It was so odd to hear the same cries from other, but to hear your own, weep and cry such words… no way to explain the pain.

"I will not leave you alone. Jaken will stay and will take you somewhere safe." I nodded to Jaken and after unclasping Jin's hands from mine, I looked at her. Her face was blotched with tears and her hands were clammy in mine. "I will come for you and I promise. No one will lay a hand on you. No one will harm you. Ever." Her hands only tightened as I spoke.

"And mother?" An odd question from Jina. One I was not answering. It was none of her concern and yet… it deserved an answer… child rearing was difficult.

"Yes. I will find your mother and she will be with you as soon as I do. As will Lore." I stood and gave Jin's hand to Jaken and they left. There was no preparation needed. I had long since dawned my armour and in resentment latched Tenseiga to my side. Within the time it took me to ensure Jaken had left with Jin I had also left behind the estate.

.

Finding Rem would be simple and easier if something happened. Blood called to blood. Lore on the other hand would be harder if she left Rem's side, but I could not see that happening. The weather was clearing from the grey it had started and although still hidden behind clouds I could feel the stars and their light shining down.

After waiting among the clouds it became clear Rem had no intention of being found out so easy. No smell, no sounds… not even the blood echo called to me from any which way. Lore was meddling which made this much harder than it should be. All I knew was that in her rage that smoldered under the surface of her pleasant smile and fair skin was intended to enslave Naraku if she found him. The other reason other than Rem's expression to not see her was the empathetic link we shared. Through that link I saw the woman who bore my children… a child that was without care. She had forsaken Jin and me to find and destroy Naraku and Lore was helping to achieve that goal. What would become of my sun goddess if Naraku's death held no appeasement for her? If her rage did not subside or even more her love could not return… Would she remain empty?

.

For the uncountable time today I cursed and then at ground level my eye caught something and anger rose. Below me upwind was a red clothed half demon that I would make feel as pained as I was. InuYasha would reap for my son's loss. For mine. For Rem's.

A smile both sadistic and void gripped me and I effortlessly fell to earth, but as the clearing came more visible a figure stood in the shadows. I gasped at the image of my wife in priestess clothes and almost drew energy enough to obliterate the whole clearing. But the woman was not my wife… only part of her face and body were close and it was not Lore either... I almost wondered if a third child had been born.

"Why is it you are after Naraku…?" InuYasha sat down next to the girl, obviously human where Lore and Rem were not. "This is the woman Naraku spoke of… she is priestess born and… wields great power… purifying gifts that she does not use on him… And…" Everything unrolled as if a mile of papyrus blanketed the world.

"Shikon jewel… is this what you are after?" But the connection other than appearance I could not make. What this human child, my wife and Lore had as a bond was unclear, but I knew the answer was here. All of it. I just needed to find the right question in order to have the answer make sense.

"Sesshomaru!" With a mental shake I glared down at my brother whom caught me eavesdropping. As he always was, he screamed at me from below, but I had no time to battle out with such a weak boy. Even my wife could handle him, if not tame him…

"_No time pathetic brother." _Rem's words rang in my head. _"Protect family or else it will fall asunder."_

"No time at all." The shouts of InuYasha lessened greatly with distance thankfully and yet again I was stuck with a growing problem.

I could not feel my wife's presence and had no way to know which way I should go in order to look.And why was InuYasha looking for the Demon named Naraku?


	52. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 52

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_The days had turned into weeks which blended seamlessly into a month. I could not track down the elusive woman that was my wife. She had tore out of my house, left behind her daughter to plague the steps of a child stealing demon who surely had it out for any relation of blood I had. I swore violently that when I did find my errant wife, that I would make sure she learned just where her duty set was and it was far from gallivanting across Japan in rage. Even if her cause was just._

In the last three days I had managed to find Totosei in his volcanic cavern under the mountains and even given my need he refused my demand for a weapon which could enact my revenge. I would deal with him later when my concerns were not whole sale preoccupation. So now, looking down from the almost vertical cliff of the same mountain I pushed back the dredges of helplessness. Something I would not dine to entertain for much longer.

"Where are you Rem? Where in this desolate land do you seek your justice in blood?" The need to consult myself in open speech bespoke my dwindling metal health... or so it seemed.

"Do not fret my love... I will return to you and wound your broken morale..." Her voice rang clear as if she spoke next to me, but this was not her standing over my shoulder was I wished. It was mid speech.

"Where are you? Return at once Rem." She would heed my warning or pay the consequences for her failure to comply." A sweet chuckle crossed the air and I knew she was not listening.

"Cheer up darling. I am just carrying out my right as a woman and mother. I have located the little bastard demon and with Lore's help I doubt I will be longer than another week arriving home. Please return home to Jin... She misses you." I watched the clouds pass the darkening sky but didn't really see it at all.

"You have spoken with Jina?" She sighed.

"Of course. She is the one who told you I'd left, no? She is ever my child. I wouldn't have her think for a moment I'd forgotten of her. Nor would I you, Sesshomaru." The connection between us severed suddenly and a single word had broken through before if shattered completely.

"Naraku..." The air seemed to chill as if it were mid-winter and I dropped off the cliff's edge and shot towards the direction I thought Rem, Lore and now Naraku must be.

The small sounds in the background, muted only slightly by Rem's voice were the sounds of a particular night gale which lived in one area only. Its song was unmistakable and only sang in the short time between twilight and full darkness. Seeing as most the area there was mountainous much like here, meant the sun still shone where she was. This narrowed my search area down drastically.

"Do not engage him Rem." I hoped that through some fluke she could hear me as the ground disappeared behind me.

.

"You set your minions on me now? You steal my child and attack my family and home. Did you not think repercussions would come of such an act petty demon?" Naraku smiled as he pulled off the white baboon mask over his face.

"That would be most rude if I did not give him back then, wouldn't it?" Rem grinded her teeth and clenched her nails into her palm.

"You cannot return a child dead...And eye for an eye calls for your death little fiend." A young boy behind Naraku stepped forward and Lore hung back. She was no more apt to defend herself now then the baby Naraku had taken from her sister.

"Mother..." His voice was as sweet as Sesshomaru and his resemblance was as if Sesshomaru had been doubled. The shadows which had hidden him before seemed little less than false in the light of his charm.

"I am not your mother. Move else I will remove you, do not think to stand between me and your master." Naraku took in a lazy breath and put a hand on the youths shoulder.

"She would not know you... you were taken as a baby yet birthed... how would she understand." He turned his dark eyes to Rem and then to Lore. "You can see it can you not, Lorelei...? A little help and the child lived and grew... very fast. This child is in fact your child... Would you not greet him?" Lore gapped and drew next to her sister.

"Rem... the child's aura... his blood... everything is as your child was... Perhaps the demon speaks truth?" The boy stepped closer and Rem barred her teeth with a snarl.

"Very good. Truth be told, I needed an excuse to keep you from your Lord's brother... InuYasha. This diversion was all and well. I return your son to you now in hopes you will not intercede on my plans again?" Rem gripped the sword at her side and drew its length from its sheath.

"Lies... even spell bound a child barely conceived would not last... this is some evil work which I will not heed. Fight me or I will just cut you down. Either way I would be most content." She ignored the cry in her heart. That the child looked, smelled and even felt like hers...

The last rays of sunlight fell behind cloud and rock and song echoed softly from everywhere. Rem almost dropped her sword with the tune sung. In fact, now one knew this song save for herself and Jin. Perhaps Sesshomaru had listened, but she herself had sung this song to the growing babe that once she bore. Water welled in her eyes and fought the slightest thought that in truth this could be her son.

"Lore!" A light shone and struck from through the boy and pain crushed Rem in turn.

"That would be most unwise... You see, a mother has such a bond with her children until birthed... that connect is still set. A mother will feel her child's woe as the same visa versa. That is proof enough that he is your son, no?" Naraku moved in the shadows unchecked.

"Rem!"

"Mother!" Rage built and exploded... no talk would ease her craze driven need to kill. As she turned to fend off the attack of her so called 'son', Jin appeared from nowhere and defended the sword which would have run the boy through.

"I name you false." Rem gripped her daughter's collar and pulled her back and slung shot forward. "For that, I will destroy you, your master and his vile plots and schemes."

"Mother no!" Jin leapt again and pulled down on the leg of her fake brother, Rem narrowly missed a lethal blow and cursed.

"Jina, do not believe his lies! In fact, return home at once!" Jina stood in front of the boy shielding him from her own mother.

"Jina..." Lore pleaded from the side lines to no avail.

"Mother listen... you are not yourself. It is him... Changed... but it is him. Right, Kohaku?" Jina glance behind her and the boy smiled... a grin which Rem could never place on Sesshomaru, but looked so pure and sweet that she could almost believe in Jin's words.

"Yes, changed." The boy shook a moment and pulled a blade from his side. Rem had not seen if before.

"Jina look out! Run!"

"JINA!" Sesshomaru fell to the earth and the ground shook. Jin looked at her father with surprise before a pool of blood formed, staining her shirt.

Time stalled.

"Kohaku...why..." The boy stepped away and Sesshomaru tried to grab his daughter before she slumped backwards, but he found himself immobilized.

"I didn't... I moved without meaning to... it was not me!" His fear was almost palpable when from behind, Lore gasped. Naraku stood hold her, his miasma oozing in long trails along the crumpled grass and from behind Sesshomaru stood Kana. She had relieved him of Tenseiga. Sesshomaru made no move to stop her. Rem could tell just from looking that he was not in the right mind to break whatever spell she wove over him.

"All is well then... I have what I came for." Naraku gripped Lore tightly and she kicked and screamed in muffled tones.

"Stop!" Rem shot a dagger from her side, but Naraku sent it flying away with ease.

"All I needed was your sister... don't worry... if all goes my way she will be back in a short time and you can all go back to being a family. Son and all." The world was breaking... Rem could feel it under her feet.

"Rem!" Lore screamed as both she and Naraku faded into the miasma and disappeared.

"Mother..." Jin coughed blood and pulled her father's kimono which was equally stained with blood as the wounded. He had finally been released and taken Jina into his arms.

"Jina... please be silent... you will be fine..." Rem wept and held Jin's hand tightly.

"I'm not so sure... she has it... Father's sword..." Sesshomaru emitted a pained growl low in his throat as he felt the life energy from his beloved daughter fading. Without the sword, he could not revive her.

"Stay with her. I will bring back Tenseiga and set this right."

.

I left my daughter in her mother's hands as I tried with dying hope to at least retrieve my sword. I needed to save my child at all costs, but as the dark of night grew thicker no trace of Naraku or even of Lore drift in the air to find it.

"Sesshomaru..." The word broke the silence and all was still again. From the distance a single cry left the world a shadow of what it had been before.

Jina had passed... and from the place she had left Rem screamed her pains to the shadows. The internal pain from his wife he could feel. The cry seemed to go on forever and it bounded off mountains, reserved in pools and ponds and was remembered by earth and stone and sand.

Above the clouds where starlight shone tears and fell to earth like diamonds. Alone he would weep for the loss... alone he would share his beloved wife's pain and alone he would remain until he could face his wife and be able to bare the grief of both him and her.


	53. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 53

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_Rage and sorrow. Pain and guilt. Emotions known and unknown to me burned and engulfed me. The emptiness inside me was... unbelievably painful thing. Across the void I called to Rem, but only silence replied. _

"So she is gone again..." I could feel it when Jin left this world unto the next: after the scream which ripped the waking world asunder and surely, surely all beast and man alike must weep for such pain.

All the things that had happened... First my son, then Jin. Now my wife and her sister are missing and I had only my fears to claim any idea what might happen to them... and then the boy... The boy Naraku claimed my son... Kohaku.

.

The horizon was hidden beneath deep azure clouds and a beak morning would grace the day. The only thing to do was to find Rem, find Lore and return them both home. Then... when assured that home was even safe, then I would find Naraku. Then I would hand him personally to the gates of hell and introduce him to his new master.

I listened to the sound of the world asleep. I needed peace in my mind before it tore itself apart and set me to ruin. I could not think on the daughter lost; Gods, both my children. That was when I heard a crackling in my ear... a sound I'd not heard before and as I moved above the clouds to try and find my remaining love it grew louder. The lower I drew myself to the ground and farther north the louder it got when in the distance I was the trees ablaze in fire. Did the entire planet need to up rise and throw its lot with Naraku to cause mayhem?

"Sesshomaru-san!" What on earth was going on? "Sesshomaru!"

"Lore?" The sigh that bridged an unknown distance was audible.

"Yes... thank god... The demon... I know somewhat of his plans. Your brother... it's not just him he seeks ruin upon. It's not even really him, it's the priestess. The woman that InuYasha confides in... You have to."

"I see I'll have to tame not only your mouth, but you mind... So sorry Sesshomaru. I'll let you mourn in peace." Naraku's voice broke through and Lore's grew quiet. Then, there was nothing.

"Dammit!" So what of the woman? What was I to do? Surely my half-brother warned her of me and she would shoot before hearing any word from my lips and that was if InuYasha himself was not with her hounding her every step... He should be enough to protect one human life... " It wasn't until I said it that the words tasted bitter. I couldn't protect my wife or children. That useless sword, did nothing good come of it? Was it there to mock me? Was father's advice truly so empty?

The sky burned orange as I landed in the after math of carnage that had scorched the land.

"What are you?" In the darkness something lurked with a pure killing intent. I could smell blood and ash, the smoke stung at my eyes making it harder to see.

"Wouldn't you like to known?" Than it vanished. There and then, gone.

"Are you one of Naraku's minions?" A malevolent chuckle issued from every corner of the brush.

"You smell like her... the one that died weeping... she was a delight... Might you be the same?" The words were cold and froze in my mind. The only thing my mind allowed to think that somehow... this thing... this creature of sorts had found, and over powered Rem... Would she not have called for my aid? Was she so far beyond help in her grief that she would have chosen death?

"Where is the woman?" Again the laugh.

"I wonder where she'd be when I told you how she tasted, Hmmm?"

"Fine." If everything in the world wants to be against me then I will show you why that is just a bad idea. The blood surged and rage bent my limbs to change and harden. Demon blood heated, pained, filled with sorrow ran beneath my skin and my eyes saw clearer, my sense of smell sharper. The ground under me sunk as even the shadows lost the ability to hide me.

"Come for me little demon spawn."

I saw the demon coming from a mile away and heard it well before even that. My senses heightened while in my natural form and the stink of Naraku's flesh burned. It circled me with its loud steps and lunged. In one step I slammed a massive clawed limb down on him and pressed down till the heard the crunch of bones breaking. Its howling scream just make my blood run hotter.

"Where is the woman? It would be best to tell me of my wife before I break every bone you have." The demon wheezed under me and then pain, sharp and clean seared in my leg. The demon seemed to have an interesting ability. Every bone in its body was able to reform in perhaps an infinite amount of different forms.

That did not stop me from crushing the brain which controlled the body and I slammed down on the little beast again. The scream tore the night wide open.

"Dead, all dead... The woman lies among them."

"Where!?" Again I slammed down on him, the bone which had turned into daggers piercing and sawing at my skin and flesh.

"The village I set to burn! They will all burn!"

"Wish to live?" The demon nodded hysterically and I smiled down on him. "Then live on... in the afterlife."

"No!" One more slam and the demon turned silent. His brains leaking from every part of his head that was cracked open... and that was most of it. Even still though, rage ripped through out me. I was not sedating, the need to destroy... anything... anyone was overpowering.

I turned an eye on the place which burned the most. Fed by houses and shacks, supplies and food the fire burned hot. As the demon had said a pile of bodies lay in the center, but I could not smell Rem here. This did not stop me from peeling layer after layer of bodies away to see for myself. I no longer trusted my senses after having lost her, Jina, my son and even my sword.

At the bottom of the pile clothes so familiar to me stood out like a yellow flower on a sea of red. With a massive hand I clawed Rem's body from the wreckage. For some reason even now, pain could not reach me... perhaps I was insane and such feelings could not penetrate the barrier between madness and sanity.

"If you want to save her, give her to me Sesshomaru." I cranked my head to see someone I simply had not expected to see... "Give her to me and come with me." Slowly... against even myself, which I did not trust, I handed her over to him.

"Hurry... we don't have much time if she is like this." Wings sprang from darkness almost as black as the night itself. "You'd make it faster alone, but you don't know the way and jostling her about could kill or ruin her beyond repair. Follow me on the ground and stop any kind of pursuit."

I nodded. It would be a good excuse to vent... if only someone was stupid enough at this point to actually attack me. Instead I watched as the winged half demon tore off into the night.

"You have been long gone, Davien."


	54. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 54

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

"You plan to kill my wife?" I took a step forward to reclaim Rem from the mad man.

"Not so much… but if you want her to live… if she stays like this she won't… you have to removed her demon blood. The blood tie she shares with you. Otherwise placing her in this pool will kill her.

I looked down at the water that glimmered with the stars above. The pond seemed to glow white and sparkled with a kind purification I never seen before.

"And how do you suggest I do that? Just bleed her where she lays?" I snarled as minute by minute Rem's chance for survival dimmed beyond repair.

"Yes." He was dead. I gripped Davien by the neck and lifted him off the ground his wings beating to hold himself up so not to choke... naturally I pinned him against the wall.

"If I do that she will die. She will bleed out and no amount of water will save her, bastard." Davien did not try to release himself and just hung limp while I fumed… killing him would not help though.

"And if she remains this way...?" I wished that after death he was sent to hell and torture beyond any means became of him.

"If I remove my demon blood from her… and she lives. She will be human again?" Davien nodded his head and I dropped him. "How do you known of this pool? How do you know it powers?"

"Read about it while under Ichiou's bound service. Took a lot more finding it then reading about it though."

"It will work?" The face he gave me was one I did not want. It told me that even he was unsure. Perhaps it was my lacking faith in his pond or that Rem was getting beyond help…

"Do it."

Davien knelt next to Rem and pulled out a dagger. If this didn't work I would have nothing left of the life I had but a month ago. Rem and her child would have died and Jin was lost.

"Ready?" Did he actually expect me to say yes? "Get ready." For what?

.

With a quick movement he cut into Rem palms and blood poured out. The pool of blood was too big and I turned away. I could not watch this, but I could not put a stop to my ears. Another slice and two more… how many times must he cut her? I almost made him stop. I almost could not handle the gentle dripping sounds her blood made as it dripping down white fingers.

"This is enou…" I turned around and a large shining jar stood next to him. From the lid, magic bound, it twisted in the air and into Rem's palm. After the magic ended Davien pushed Rem into the water and submerged her. Light flared and the air crackled.

"The demon blood left in her is burning away and the new blood is taking its place."

"What is that?" I looked at the jar which had lost its lustre.

"This is Lore's gift to her sister… After Lore became a human she did this. Set aside in cause Rem ever wished to be human again… Spell bound by four sages to keep it usable… this came in handy. We just have to see if the waters life sustaining abilities and Rem's will can hold out until she is healed.

"Lore did this." The bond between Rem and her sister were nothing like InuYasha and I. Was it that we are only half-brothers that we fought so much?

In the water, floating under the surface of the water, Rem's pale face shone like she was the spirit protector of the pool. The lines created by demon blood faded and returned to their flesh color. Even now I could sense the change… she was no longer a part of me and the loss was damning.

"How long until we know?" Davien tried to sit up, but faltered and knelt back down. "Are you ill?"

"You could say that… this water isn't so nice as it sounds… To purify tainted blood. Demon blood and a price must be paid… for every ounce of blood to be cleansed a proxy must make payment. In short… for every bit I didn't get out of her, it steals my blood as well… I set myself as its proxy so you can do what you have to…" I looked down at the only other person in the world aside from Rem that I considered more than just a person… if I was less proud I might have called him a friend. "Get out…"

I nodded, both of us too insolent to say they enjoyed the others company and too much a friend to have the other stay and watch their pains.

Our deal went unsaid. _Save Lore and we are even_. Davien would stay and watch over Rem and though no longer bound by blood I knew if she failed and fell… I would know of it before any word spoke of it.

Now the only thing left to do was to find Naraku and his half-bred demons and destroy him, get back my sword and insure, without any doubt that Rem would be safe. That no other man or demon could harm my family like just one could... If that meant killing every demon on the island, then I would.

The only problem with my whole plan was finding Naraku to begin with...

In the hollow lands in the West, below mountains and under trees 30 feet tall being the shortest the smell of someone familiar drifted past me.

"Totosai." From the dark the old sword forging master came.

"I can't make you a new weapon... but I can see it that you get what is rightfully yours back. Your father would be most unpleased to know his sons sword lies in another's hands." The little, cracked and worn demon tossed a small stone looking object which I caught and rolled in my hand.

"This is fathers." A remain from Father's tooth lay in the palm of my hand. Its white surface glimmered and sang in my hand under the stars.

"One object of the same will always call for itself. This will bring you to at least your sword. Whether it remains in another's grasps or not, I cannot say, but this is your way... and does Rem fair well?" It was shocking to known that this man somehow knew something of Rem's health. I could see the worry in his old eyes.

"Not so well." I could manage that much of an answer, but the tooth fragment in my hands pulsed and I needed to get my sword. If Davien's healing failed, then Tenseiga needed to be back in my hands to rectify that failure.

"I thought as much... you know a sword that is made for its owner shares those feelings... having made one of her weapons, I could tell something ill had fallen on her. I wish her the best." And he turned to leave. I didn't mention my thanks out loud... what would it matter if I did, but his words consoled me more than I knew they would have.

Still pulsing and ringing, the tooth piece told me to go east and the north. Still in my lands from what I could gather. Taking the quickest means of travel I soared over hills and lakes with ease. Time was of the essence and sadly it was running out.

Four Corners

"You've changed him Rem... Lore spoke much of the demon Sesshomaru... you have done well with him... I hope you will stay strong... if not for him then for Lore... She will never let down if you do not survive this... remain as always... a constant in her life."

Davien leaned against the stone wall and against his will, closed tired eyes. He would have liked to drain her of most her blood, but that would see her dead for sure... even with what he managed she might still die.

"I don't have the strength for this Lore... for the love I bear you... be safe... live long enough for Sesshomaru to bring you back to me..."

Sealed inside of her own mind Lore bit back screams and insults as Naraku pushed her into a chair.

"I have plans for you... you can tell that having been once less than alive I have powers over you... Follow my will... with or against me, either way I will get what I want, but if you wish to return to your home and love; then do not interfere. Recall the priestess? She has something of mine and I want it back. The priestess Kikyo has a very important and powerful jewel... The Shikon jewel and as you soon will become an almost mirror image of her you're going to get it for me..." He knew with a little 'magic' InuYasha wouldn't know the difference.

"I smell fire. It's far away, but something massive is burning..." Dressed in red, the half demon InuYasha sat atop a tree smelling the air.

"Was it a village?" The young priestess born woman sat below the tree with hands folded in front of her.

"I think so... burnt flesh mingles with the air... and 'he's' there too..." Kikyo looks up as InuYasha's face darkens.

"Who's?" He jumps from the tree and sits next to her silent for a moment.

"My brother." She looks at him surprised and questions build up, but she knows that face. It's the one that wishes to keep his secrets, but she does not worry. In the past months he has opened up about much. It's only a matter of time before he tells her willingly.

"I didn't mean to kill her... I didn't want to. I moved without knowing it! Why?!" Kohaku thrashed about and whipped books across the room. Kana sat emotionless; watching him, making sure he did not leave.

"Naraku had his reasons." He turned to her and his rage only built, but he kept it caged, just like Kana wanted him to. Even if he moved against her; that mirror... it would make him do what 'he' wanted anyways... that was the power behind the mirror. Complete control. He glared at the sword at her side knowing full well it was his fathers. The father that didn't even recognize him... could he be blamed for it though? Not but a month ago he was a mere mass of almost nothing inside his mother.

_Mother. She rejected me... She did not want me..._

"Did he know?" Kohaku looked at Kana while remembering his sister as her breaths became hard, as blood filled her lungs, of his mother wretched and ruined with the death of her daughter and son... though he still breathed and lastly of the father who's resemblance he bore like the mirror in Kana's hand. "May he rot then..."


	55. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 55

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_The sun had risen and fell two times since Rem begun sleeping in the pool. No word had reached me of her state and I took that as good, for I had not felt anything like her passing. I had been wrong to say that she and I were no longer bonded together. It was just that we had a few less strings to tie us. Our children were lost, her human self-restored... even her sister has been removed and the whole world seemed out to take Rem from me. _

She often spoke of gods, she imagined that if there were such things as demons in the world than surely angels and gods did as well. I had never met any such creatures and so I doubted it.

"Lord Sesshomaru... I ask you now when you are in need. Do you wish to have your weapon back? Do you wish to return the human woman Lore to an unimprisoned state?" This was no speech over minds or through telepathy. The man that spoke was within reach, but I could not find the body that owned the voice nor smell him. The lacking of my senses were all but driving me to insanity. Why now of all times did they fail me?

"I do not make bargains with demons that threaten the life of my wife and take those of my children." There was no laughter, no amused comments. The eerie deadpan silence was odd.

"So she lives? That is... good. This is no bargain... I will give these items to you anyways. I ask as a favour that you might do something for me." From the darkness Kohaku, but he was no longer the boy he had been. He had aged another 5 years since I'd seen him last... stepped and I grit my teeth to bite back my need to tell him to leave before I kill him, but at his side Tenseiga swung wrapped in white cloth. I could tell it was my sword, I could feel it's calling for me and strangely I heard it calling to the boy as well.

"What do you want?" Kohaku stopped a few feet away from me. He was not guarded and no spell work seemed to be around him or on his person.

"I ask only for protection... don't send me back to him after I have stolen your sword back from Kana. He will destroy me for sure." I couldn't help but be surprised and knew somehow that he had to be doing some kind of work for Naraku. What I was sure though was that he couldn't beat me let alone hurt me, so what was the harm in keeping him around when everyone he could hurt were no longer here...

I stuck my hand out to receive Tenseiga and its cold hilt felt like home in my hands. Had I not known how much I'd have missed it 'Kana' would never have gotten her hands on it. Slowly I walked away from the clearing.

"What... What of me?" I kept walking.

"Come if you must, I will not send you back to him if you fear that, but do not actually expect me to save you..." Kohaku's smile I could almost feel through my back as he fell in step behind me; never in front and never at my side not that I had a problem with it, but I had to be more careful with someone at my back. It didn't help the fact that the man behind me looked as if he was a mirror image of me in my youth... It was a disturbing truth be told... That I believed this child was, if not in part my blooded son.

"Tell me where Lore is. Tell me where Naraku hides and I might not kill you if Rem lives. Until she dies, it is her choice as to what becomes of your fate." It was true. As much as I wished to rip every part of him apart, I could not. Not only because as I said, it was Rem's choice, but the thought ached in me... I couldn't do it.

"At this moment I cannot say... Naraku has many abodes that he will lock himself up inside. I would tell you this secret he bares only because she would have wished it, because I wish to help. Naraku, he was once human... because of not being born into his powers, ever month for just once day he must revert to his human self. His body becomes most weak." It was good news, but I'd never thank the boy for it.

"I know this... I have seen half demons become human... I simply have to learn which day Naraku is weakened." The outcome for Naraku's death was becoming much easier to see.

"It's not so simple I am afraid... As I said, once a month... it is a very short time, but to make it worse, he 'picks' those days. He can choose which day he will become human unlike the other half demons." I stopped and turned at the boy. If he was trying to play me, I'd have his head.

"How do you known such things?" I doubted Naraku would allow any of his lesser minions to witness such a change.

"I have seen it... He does not fear me and it's not that he fears his reincarnations, but simply that I am of no threat to him. I tended him once... but even as a human he chances very little... he is still... a devious person to reckon with." True enough... I could see Naraku having little to fear from whatever Kohaku was... and this just might prove to be his weakness.

.

I said nothing more and walked where my senses took me. I had no leads so to say that would take me to Naraku and Kohaku didn't seem to have any abilities that I could tell which was good if he had none and bad it he did.

"I must know... how does she fair... Please tell me." I paused... I didn't even know and even if I did, I would not have told him, but seeing as I was in the dark as much as he was, nothing could be done by telling him the truth.

"I do not know. She is weak and heals in the care of others." No names, no places and no list of conditions.

A knot tightened in my stomach.

"You do not believe me do you? Perhaps it is a lie... I am not so sure, but I look at you and see myself. I look at... Rem, Mother... and I feel that bond between mother and child." I swung around and threw him to the ground. He was not Rem and my son. The fact that he looked as I, was some trick of spell work and dark magics rough by Naraku. I couldn't not lie to myself and say I did not hope, though it pained me... so much did it pain me.

"Keep silent, I do not wish to hear your voice." I released him. It was odd to see a look as much like a weak woman's, but with my features... I wondered if once long before I could make that face of despair... did I wear it now? When Rem lay possibly dying and my children gone, my home and Jaken sitting in wait for our return. Jaken must be going insane by now not having heard back for anyone...

**Four Elements**

Under earth and trapped behind stone walls Lore screams. Spells of dark-making wrap around her and pull at the feature meant to be change; his vile works and in the background, though silenced behind cries of pain, hatred and sorrow smiles the malevolent demon whom wished to steal the enchanted Shikon no Tama for his own making.

Elsewhere under water breaths a woman brought back from immortality. The demon which overlooked her care healed from drained life helps her from the water's edge and she dresses in warm clothes. She does not touch the water again and she looks up at the stars above. The air tasted dull, her eyes seem half fog bound and in her mouth even her saliva tasted as if lacking somehow. Everything that she had been was gone and although healed, in her heart a wound that will never mend breaks open and she weeps again in a very human way.

Below the same star spackled sky, a half raven demon stokes a fire as his human companion no longer can starve of the elements. He has brought her food and although she cries, the mirage of his own love, he walks away. He has no place consoling her when in the grips of a mad-man his love bears pains. He can feel it on the air, the altered chill that speaks of guilt and terror. Ignoring his plea to not weep himself, a single tear falls to the ground sparkling as if a falling star under a cloudless sky.

Tree branches sway under a heavy gust and two demons walk with no direction. Silver on silver their hair blends as they walked beside one another. Their steps in tune, their silence eternal as both think of the one woman from which they both love and miss beyond anything else. A mother and a wife.


	56. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 56

Subsequent Requiem- A Sesshomaru Romance

_The sun was no longer a concern as it had been before and still I remained next to Kohaku. I had to admit, he was rather obedient for a demon... if he had been our child he most definitely had taken after me. Though under the facade of ease I could see the burning need to speak wilfully which he would have gotten from his mother... though if he truly was her child, he'd have spoken out without a care. _

"Which way from here would it be?" Kohaku had explained the one of Naraku's hiding holes was inside the mountain. From my estate Rem often stared at the same mountain range and make plans to travel its ridges. I was glad she had never gotten the chance to.

_You have incoming Sesshomaru._

I stopped in my tracks and both Kohaku and I stared up at the sky. In the distance and flying fast towards us was a demon with black wings. In his arms was Rem.

Part of me broke just knowing that she was fine. Another part of me raged beyond control.

"What is she doing!?" I asked in outrage while at the same time Kohaku asked the same in a question. We seemed rather on the same page when it came to whims of my wife.

"Sesshomaru!" Slowly with heavy beating wings Davien set Rem down and without thinking of whom was around, I pulled her into me. If I could have, I'd hide her from the world that no other might find her, harm her. She instantly started crying; perhaps weeping was a human affair after all because I'd never seen her cry so much at one time. I could smell on her tears she'd tried to scrub away, but no scent from her went unnoticed to me.

"What are you doing here? You must return at once." Rem pushed me away and in her eyes I knew she'd already planned a way to win me over. A woman brain, I learned early on, was not less intelligent then a man's, if anything they were far more cunning when they wished.

"What is he doing here?" She seen Kohaku behind me and flinched at the dark tone in her voice. She sounded on par with Naraku is evilness. Something newly acquired I assumed.

"He returned Tenseiga and requested safe haven." She turned to me as if she would rip me apart with only her eyes. She walked over to Kohaku and stopped. She stared a moment and raised her hand as if to touch his face then when he closed his eyes she drew back her hand and slapped him. I nearly walked over to stop her. She was rather fierce and she had even managed to knocked him down.

"You killed my daughter after she vouched for you. For this I will never forgive you. I would forget before for I forgave, but in this matter Naraku is also responsible. I hate you not for killing Jin for being weak enough to be used like you have... My own son."

She turned away and returned to my side. "You are no longer ever allowed be a tool to be used, by anyone... so long as you have been trained under proper tutelage... Sesshomaru..." She couldn't be serious...

"Impossible." I wouldn't do it. How could she even be sure know that his boy was ours? Had she not rejected him outright from the start?

"You will. I have lost a daughter and I refuse to lose now what may remain of a son. Though I believed he is not wholly mine, I do believe part of him is their inside him. Will you kill that off too or for once, will you drop this stupid hot-headed attitude and do what you'd have done any ways?" I had forgotten how much demon hood had somehow managed to tamed her. Now that she was human again she seemed the same as when I'd first pulled her from the house of the lord in the South. She had a rather biting temper then and not just from being drugged... God it'd been so long since I'd found her then...

With a stiff look I nodded in agreement. She was right, I'd have trained him anyways if he was to be any use later.

"But that means you will be returning to Jaken at the estate." She was not going to like my demands and would fight me for sure. She saw no difference in herself being demon or not, but already I could see it. I could even smell it, the change the having lost her demon blood made.

With a quick movement she pulled a dagger from her belt I'd not seen and threw it at me. I dodged and she had somehow made it behind me. I'd expect she'd be weak and slow.

"What are you doing?" I turned behind me where she should not have been able to get to.

"My blood has changed. That means that I do not regenerate like I had before and I cannot smell and see as clear, but I can move. My body has the same training that it always had and being human gives me an advantage that I will use to the end if I need to." With another quick motion she leapt into the air and soared down at me. She had no advantage at all and she knew it.

As she came down I grabbed her upper arm and pulled her in. "Do not test me. I do not enjoy having my wife attack me." I pulled her up to my face and she winced. I lessened my gripped and she rammed her other elbow into my chest.

"You see. Humans do have advantages that you demons will always take for granted." Damn her.

"You are not going." That was finally.

"Then stop me." She turned and looked right at me. She was making a fool of me before others and I would not tolerate it. I walked up and did the only thing I could think of that might not hurt her as much as my mind was thinking about it. I tossed her over my shoulder and heaved her away. What I did not known was that Rem waved good bye to Davien and Kohaku behind me with a smiled a smile that only humans seemed to have.

"Why do you torment me woman?" I dropped her away from the eyes and ears of other demons.

"I have missed you..." She stepped forward and leaned into me like I recalled almost like a fog. It had been so long, but she was trying to get away with madness and I would not allow it.

"You will not go. I will not allow it even if I must drag you back and seal you away into something." She smiled

"You cannot seal anything Sesshomaru." Her face dimmed a bit and she closed the little space between us. Perhaps it was that I knew time was beginning to run out like once before, but her lips seemed softer; sweeter.

"I have... missed you." Before she would have laughed at me for saying something she said was 'undemon-like' but now she only seemed somewhat desperate.

"Don't leave me here alone. Don't send me back where I don't know what is happening and with everything that has happened... fear that I wait with no purpose...as if you will disappeared like some wisp of a dream like my children have..." She pressed her lips on mine again silencing my response. She knew very well I didn't want her to come for I feared the same as she did. That if she stayed I might lose her forever. It was chance that Kana had taken Tenseiga but I would not risk my wife's death for the chance that it might happen again. "Please... Sesshomaru." It was something I'd never gotten used to hearing from her. She was not one to ask permissions for anything. This was one occasion where I could not relent if I was to protect her.

"I cannot allow it." She removed away and having her hands leave mine left like she was disappearing before me. In some surreal image in my mind it was like she was aging before me and if she didn't stay by me she would wither away. "Don't leave Rem. Please." Sincerity was never my strong point. She made well in reminding me that even as a great demon that I lacked something's still.

"I have no intentions of doing so, my love." In all the years that she had been by me and been my wife, I never got used to her saying such sweat sentiments either. So much time with her and yet still things never grew old or tiresome... I felt her words were wasted on me because I never was able to say such thing back. Now it seemed as if these words welled inside of me. These words I could only utter under my breath when she slept.

"Rem, be with me forever. Do not remain a human and wither away, die. Do not leave me here without you to be my conscious. Don't leave me alone. I would be... less without... without your love." Again heat rose in my face like whenever I knew not what to do, these emotions I felt for this woman long before had never changed. "I love you." I didn't expect her to cry then. These were no tears of sorrow, but of happiness I was surprised I was able to give someone. That was when I refused to listen. She came in once more to kiss me and I allowed this one last touch before I'd send her away. Something inside of me broke in that moment and taking one finger I stabbed her palm which rested in mine. Poison swept through her. In the times I had been around Rem I'd become more immune to toxins and grew new ones of my own. Now as she slumped in my arms the poison took effect.

Complete paralysis.

I swept her up in my arms and held her for a moment before taking her back to Davien.

"Bring her home, do not stop even if it kills you. Keep her there, tie her down, do anything to make sure she stays away from this place and from me." I shoved her into Davien's arms and walked away before my judgment changed and I kept her with me. She was both an immeasurable strength and an eternal weakness.

"Is this right Sesshomaru?" I did not answer Davien because I feared what my answer would be.

"Kohaku. We are leaving." And in the shadows I left Davien with the sunrise of my live. If ever the light set, I would make the world burn for the loss. Behind me I concentrated on the steps of the boy Rem allowed to be called some sort of a son. For her sake I would train him and I would allow him to live. I would let Rem have what she believed remained of her son.


	57. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 57

A Sesshomaru Romance.

"Will she be alright?" The boy, no, Kohaku, muttered his concern at my backside. I was no longer in any position of feel regret, pain or anything else. If I did, I would not be able to continue. I needed to not feel… "But she…" He grew quit thankfully after only few moments. He learned quickly.

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Over the distance I felt the world suddenly shift. Something… unchangeable had happened. I could smell it in the burn of fire in the air, see it in the color of the darkness of the sky between the stars and feel it in the space between heartbeats… My heart knew something, but my mind was unwilling to listen to it. My chest ached enough for me to grab at my shirt.

"Has something happened?" He was too intuitive. Too much like his mother…

"No. Not yet…" When I turned to face him I almost acted out to kill him… before me stood the exact image of myself… "Kohaku…" He was aging too quickly and it was not stopping. Not halting like the small part of my brain said it should have. "You are dying…." I said it before I could tell myself to stop.

"I. I know. I can feel it… I can feel time in my ears as it if had voice. I cannot stop this… change. I can't slow it down."

"Then we will find Naraku, make him right everything he has done… including his birth as a demon…" I turned away unable to think of anything else… Rem might wake up, but she would do it long after Kohaku had died… They were all going to leave her.

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The next sound ripped the very fabric of time open.

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I did not have to tell Kohaku to move, he was just as fast as I was. We both moved in tune to the sound of death.

The village was burning… Unlike the last though it had not been the work of a lesser demon or a part of Naraku he smelled Lore...

"Lore!" I searched for the whisper of her aura and found only traces until I came across her body. "So much death…"

"Sesshomaru… stop him…. He's destroying everything… they made me do it… they…." Lore was herself in mind were she was not in body… traces are her had already begun to make the change back, but she bore the identical appearance of the priestess Kikkyo. " The girl… she made me attack your brother… I shot him!" The images she explained poured over me. This had all been a set up. Right from the beginning.

.

Naraku had never meant to see me. He'd done it to see which twin out of Rem and Lore was susceptible to plot against. Rem was over powering, brutal and smart and although Lore was these things as well she had become too human. Too weak… The taking of Rem's child had been a diversion to remove me from the equation involving Lore. Had Rem remained safe I would have defended Lore… I had been played. Rem's children stolen for a vendetta that did not even involve me and my family.

"Save him Sesshomaru…" She sounded too much like Rem then.

"Stay with her. Bring her to Rem…" I did not stay long enough to hear his answer. Inside I felt the anger smothering me… and I was not going to stop it. I was going to kill Naraku.

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Four Lives.

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Inside the estate and Rem's eyes shot open. Jaken was not at her side and she stood from the bed her husband and her shared.

"They are gone… all of them…" Unhindered, she walked from the room and into Jina's. The tears began there and continued when she walked into the room that would have been for her sons. "I am not going to survive this…" And she knew. Somewhere along the lines, the gods had agreed that she had done enough. "They slipped right threw my hands…" Jaken emerged and gasped as he looked at her…

"Rem-sama…" He came forward and she shook her head.

"Ignore them Jaken… They are not for you… they are mine and I will keep them as they have waited so very long…" She bowed then to him and the little creature wept much as she had. He wept for the life of the girl he loved so much, the boy who was to come and the woman that made his master's life whole… and who was dying before him… As she left, grateful for the antidote given to help ease her healing, he watched as little hands plucked at sleeve and pant leg. Hell's Pallbearers had come at last…

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Lore wept when she saw Davien again. They had been together through so much and for so long she was unsure if she could actually live without him at her side. He took her from Sesshomaru's son and held Lore so close that it might have been impossible to take her back anyways.

"This is good enough. Tell my sister… Tell Rem I will find her again…"

Davien had tracked down Lore and Kohaku and had forced him to give her over. He would not be without her one more moment. He had loved her for so long, cared for her so long that in the arms of another man he was not sane. Kohaku had obliged in utter silence.

_He is Sesshomaru's son… there is no mistaking…_

"Find your mother… You don't have much time…" Davien didn't tell him or Lore that it was a two sided comment. He could tell the moment Rem woke up that it was only temporary. It was equally obvious that the boy wasn't going to live long either. He just needed to get Lore away and far enough so that when Lore felt Rem die… there would be nothing she could do. He needed her to survive this… for him.

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Bleeding and dying, InuYasha hung limply from a tree. He was confused to no end. The woman, the human he had come to love, and even enough to forsake the Shikon Jewel for… had killed him. He could feel it in the blood that ran down his arm… and in the same death that was now killing her. She stood before him, bow tossed to the ground in defeat. She had won and lost as well…

"How could you InuYasha?"

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Defeated and enraged, Kana and another demon hid while Naraku destroyed everything before him.

"She lies dying before her lover and I am still without the Jewel! All my plans. All my dreams gone… and that girl…" He thought back to the woman he had spell changed into Kikyo. His demon was meant to have killed her, but the humans had gotten to him first. She was long gone now… All that was left was her Twin…

"We have one last chance…. Kana…. It is time we move." Two shadows moved as one in search of the remaining twin left.


	58. Subsequent Requiem Chapter 58

I ran in the direction I sensed Naraku. As if a blind had been removed from my eyes and could finally sense were they all were. Jaken was in residence, Kohaku had leaving behind Lore and Davien while they fled. And Naraku moved with steady direct right towards Rem.

She was no longer at the estate and she was going towards Kohaku.

"Rem, stop, go back…" I hoped she could hear me, plead that she heard me. Because if she didn't I would be too late. I was too far out to make it to her side.

.

Rem moved slowly around the forest she knew as good as she knew the estate. Jaken remained behind at her request and she followed the path that lead to her fate. She could tell because the Pallbearers got agitated whenever she tried to deviate from the path.

The sounds we so strong in her ears, as was the color of the world. Perhaps that was how it was, when you knew for a surety that death was waiting for you.

"Sesshomaru…. Kohaku…" She said their names as motivation to keep going. She so very badly wanted to go to sleep.

"Mother." She sighed at the voice and turned. He waited unsure of himself and she began to cry one more.

"I have done so much crying in these days…." She walked towards him and he rushed into her. "I am sorry I have done these things to you… I…"

"No. I don't' want to hear it. Say no more…" She just stood there in her sons embrace weeping.

"You look so much like your father… so much… but you seem to have my heart…" She smiled and coughed.

"What is happening to you…" She was cut off and both Rem and Kohaku looked at one another.

"She is dying."

From behind them both stood Kana and Naraku. Sesshomaru's sword glimmered at Kana's side while Rem screamed as sword in Naraku's hand went from hilt to flesh inside of her son's stomach. She was unable to move to stop it. Kanas mirror did not allow any deviation and Rem was stunned in shock.

"Kohaku!" She screamed his name over and over and it echoed down the chasm behind her. As the sword was ripped from him the blood splattered on her face. The will to live kicked into overdrive.

"Die!" She moved in speeds that matched Naraku's. She would have been faster but the little hands that gripped her made her slow. Made her weak. She watched in horror as a few separated from her and walked over to her son's body.

"Don't you touch him!" All she had to do was get the sword back from the girl in white. If her reflection showed in it once, she was screwed. She would die, her son would die… everything would be lost, but she could not fight off Naraku, take Sesshomaru's sword and beat away Death from her son.

The tears blurred her vision as she realized just how helpless it was.

"Sesshomaru…" She wanted to see him again before she died. She had to see him again. She would barter, kill and over throw hell if need be…

The emblem on her head shone and the pallbearers scattered screaming. They left her son as well.

"Sesshomaru is going to kill you for this…" She knew she was beaten. She knew that she was never going to live to see his face again. "You will beg and plead and die at his hands… You will regret… everything."

Naraku laughed at her as she limped to her son's side.

"Don't leave me just yet…. Stay with me…" Kohaku coughed, his breathe came in wheezes that broke her heart. "I am so sorry… for everything…" His life whispered out of him with her arms around him.

Her final scream would be remembered in rocks and water and trees for eternity.

.

I heard her in the distance. God she was so close. Piece by piece I felt shards of myself let go and die away.

"Rem!" The seconds felt like hours and days. When I finally reached the place where Rem had to be nothing was left. Only blood remained.

"Rem…" I followed the trails of blood that seemed to be everywhere. Some were from Kohaku and others from Naraku and Rem. Kohaku's trail stopped and started many times as if he were being dragged away. They ended at the edge of the cliff. As did Rem's.

"Please no…" I flung myself down the steep side of the mountain and searched for even a trace of a body. But in a single moment the smell of death permeated everything and then ceased to exist all together. Both Rem and Kohaku's body were missing and I could not find trace of Naraku any place.

Months passed and I remained as I had before. Half of myself. Rem, Jina, Kohaku, Lore, Davien and even InuYasha was gone. Though at least he remained alive, spelled into sleep forever. I never found the answer to why Naraku had picked the Miko girl and Lore and Rem… was it all happenstance?

"My Lord Sesshomaru?" Only Jaken remained at my side. He would never know how much it pained and joyed me to have him here. Another with the memory that was Rem. Another to prove to me that I had not been mistaken to think that this was all a dream.

Years later when I found myself in Hell and searching for Rin I also searched for another. The trace of a woman with a name so much like my wife's and daughter's that when I did not find her in any way, I grew confused. The smells of thousands upon thousands drench the world of the dead, all except hers. I did not find Jina's or Kohaku's either…

Naraku is dead. At my hand.

"Rem…" I recall all that set this in motion. The very beginning of the beginning.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin… I decided long ago to leave her with the humans and InuYasha… he has made a life with the reincarnation of same Miko Lore was forced to become. So many strings come together in the end…

"I will come again, Rin." I do not tell her that I love her. That she is the child I never had… Instead I leave to finally make my final amends at a mountain side where Rem died… until I smell something I should not smell…. In a direction that should not be.

"Rem…"

END…

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If you have read this far into the BU story then I have good news for you lucky readers. The story continues in the final showdown titled Altruistic Memories which is the best story I have to date. A lot of work went into Japanese mythology and into using certain Japanese phrases. Please comment. I get back to all reviewers with personal thanks.


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